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Aug 30, 2013 Course Packet. By Amy Editing for Run-Together Sentences 192. Commas. Amy E Leonard ......
EWRT 211 Course Packet
By Amy Leonard De Anza College “With power comes great responsibility” -Spider-Man “We love our superheroes because they refuse to give up on us. We can analyze them out of existence, kill them, ban them, mock them, and still they return, patiently reminding us of who we are and what we wish we could be.” --Grant Morrison EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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“We become what we believe. Believe that you are a writer” Dear EWRT 211 Student, Welcome to the English 211 class! I hope that you find this course to be a positive learning experience and enjoyable. I became a teacher because I love literature and I believe in the power of the written and spoken word. It would be great if you all felt the same way, but I know that each of us has unique interests and talents. Right now, all I ask for is you to have an open mind and to be committed to this course. While some of you are born writers, some of you have the basic skills and don’t mind writing. Then, there are those of you who would prefer having your fingernails extracted to being anywhere near a writing course. To those of you love to write, welcome and enjoy. To those of you who don’t mind writing, I hope this course helps foster a greater appreciation for the craft. And to those of you in the “fingernails” group, bear with me, and I promise to do all I can to help you make it through this course with a minimum of blood, sweat, and tears! I encourage all of you to make the most of this course. Like all things in life, this course will be exactly what you make of it. My objectives are to help you improve your writing and analytical reading skills and to show you how these skills will help you in future classes and in “real” life. However, I can’t achieve these goals without your help and dedication, and I thank you now for both. As we begin the Quarter together, I wish you luck, skill, and especially fun! I look forward to getting to know you as students and people. Best, Amy Leonard English Instructor De Anza College
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Table of Contents Assignments...................................................................................................................................................... 6 Essay Outline #1..........................................................................................................................................................9 Essay Outline #2....................................................................................................................................................... 10 Essay Outline #3....................................................................................................................................................... 11 Essay Outline #4....................................................................................................................................................... 12 Essay Outline #5....................................................................................................................................................... 13 Essay #1:What is Your Kryptonite? ................................................................................................................... 14 Essay #2: Personal Theme Song Essay ............................................................................................................. 17 Essay #3: Taking a Stand on Spider-Man 2 ..................................................................................................... 20 Essay #4: Taking a Stand on Kick-Ass............................................................................................................... 23 Final Portfolio Instructions.................................................................................................................................. 26 Essay #5: Reflective Essay ....................................................................................................................................... 28 EWRT 211 ESSAY #5 GRADING Rubric ............................................................................................................. 30 Revision Checklist ................................................................................................................................................... 31 Revision Proposal......................................................................................................................................................................32 Essay #6: The Revision Essay .............................................................................................................................. 33 The Reading Process................................................................................................................................... 36 Figures of Speech ..................................................................................................................................................... 39 Figures of Speech Definition Sheet .................................................................................................................... 41 ELEMENTS OF A STORY/LITERARY TERMS .................................................................................................... 44 Analytic Tools for Deconstructing Literary Texts ........................................................................................ 48 Annotation ................................................................................................................................................................. 50 Journal Entries.......................................................................................................................................................... 51 Double-Entry Journals .................................................................................................................................... 52 Triple Entry Journal................................................................................................................................................ 57 The Levels of Questioning..................................................................................................................................... 58 K-W-L-+ ....................................................................................................................................................................... 61 Readings.......................................................................................................................................................... 65
Superman Really Will Save Us: We Are All Superheroes!..............................66 Captain America in a Turban ............................................................................................................................... 73 Ben Affleck is the Batman America needs....................................................................................................... 77 Holding On Through the Pain .............................................................................................................................. 79 For a Mother’s Love................................................................................................................................................. 80 I Got The "Eye of the Tiger" .................................................................................................................................. 82 Superheroes suck!................................................................................................................................................... 84 Standing Your Ground and Vigilantism ........................................................................................................... 89 In Texas, A Father Who Killed Daughter’s Attacker Is No Vigilante ....................................................... 91 Should Sex Abuse Justify a Vigilante Attack?.................................................................................................. 92 Father of Slain Pimp: Vigilantism No Answer ............................................................................................... 94 Vigilante Justice: A Proper Response to Government Failure.................................................................. 96 No: Mere Illusion of Safety Creates Climate of Vigilante Justice ............................................................. 98 Vigilante Group Targets Child Pornography Sites........................................................................................ 99 Vigilante Archetypes and the Spread of 'Real Life Superheroes' ..........................................................101 Violence In Comics: How Far Is Too Far? .......................................................................................................103 Joey Drummond ......................................................................................................................................................106 I’ve Got What it Takes ..........................................................................................................................................106
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Writing Strategies......................................................................................................................................109 General and Specific ............................................................................................................................................110 General ......................................................................................................................................................................110 Specific ......................................................................................................................................................................110 Purpose .....................................................................................................................................................................110 The Writing Process .............................................................................................................................................113 The Writing Process Visual ................................................................................................................................114 Writing Audience...................................................................................................................................................115 Elements of an Essay ............................................................................................................................................118 Title ............................................................................................................................................................................118 The Structure of an Argument...........................................................................................................................119 The Six "Moves" of Argument ............................................................................................................................120 THESIS STATEMENTS ...........................................................................................................................................121 Thesis Challenge ................................................................................................................................................123 How to Write Good Introductions....................................................................................................................125 Attention Grabbers ...............................................................................................................................................127 Introduction: Challenge.......................................................................................................................................129 How To Write Good Conclusions ......................................................................................................................130 Transitions...............................................................................................................................................................133 Other Transitions ..................................................................................................................................................134 Transition Challenge ............................................................................................................................................136 MLA Formatting Guidelines ...............................................................................................................................139 Quotations................................................................................................................................................................141 Quote Sandwiches: The Secret to Using Direct Quotes .............................................................................146 Verbs of Speech ..................................................................................................................................................147 Identifying Effective or Ineffective Quote Sandwiches .............................................................................151 ACADEMIC BODY PARAGRAPHS .......................................................................................................................154 Body Paragraph Design .......................................................................................................................................155 EWRT 211 PIE Paragraph Structure for Personal Examples ..................................................................156 EWRT 200/211 PIE Paragraph Structure with Quote Sandwiches.......................................................157 PIE Paragraph Structure for Research Papers ............................................................................................158 A Definition Paragraph Argument ...................................................................................................................159 Writing Process: Pre-‐Writing ................................................................................................................................160 Prewriting: Clustering .........................................................................................................................................162 Example: ...................................................................................................................................................................162 Brainstorming Technique ..................................................................................................................................164 Freewriting ..............................................................................................................................................................166 Cubing........................................................................................................................................................................167 Journalistic Questions..........................................................................................................................................168 Targeting Your Audience ....................................................................................................................................170 Writing Process: Revision Strategies ..................................................................................................173 Peer Review Communication: Problems and Solutions ...........................................................................178 Tutoring Sheets ......................................................................................................................................................179 Peer Review .................................................................................................................................................186 Proofreading Strategies ...........................................................................................................................................190 Proofreading ...........................................................................................................................................................191 Why proofread? It's the content that really matters, right? ................................................................................ 191 The proofreading process................................................................................................................................................... 191 Editing for Run-Together Sentences ...............................................................................................................192 Commas.....................................................................................................................................................................197 Explanation ............................................................................................................................................................................... 197 Series ........................................................................................................................................................................................... 199 EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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Comma-‐Adjective Rule......................................................................................................................................................... 199 Setting off Nonessential Elements .................................................................................................................................. 199 Transitional Words and Phrases ..................................................................................................................................... 200 Quotations ................................................................................................................................................................................. 200 Exercise 3 – Commas – Essential and Nonessential Items ................................................................................... 202 Exercise 4 – Commas – Transitions................................................................................................................................ 202 Appositives ..............................................................................................................................................................203
SENTENCE COMBINING: ...........................................................................................................................205 I.) Verbal Phrases:.....................................................................................................................................205 II. Noun Phrase Appositives ..................................................................................................................210 III. NON-RESTRICTIVE/RESTRICTIVE ADJECTIVE CLAUSES: SOME BASIC RULES ..............213 PUNCTUATING Restrictive/Non-Restrictive ADJECTIVE CLAUSES: ......................................................214 Preposition + which ..................................................................................................................................217 Sentence Focus .......................................................................................................................................................219 Acknowledgements_____________________________ ................................................................................................221
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Assignments
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Student Questionnaire Leonard EWRT 211 De Anza College Student Full Name: _____________________ What would you like to be called in-class: _______________ Cell Phone: ________________ E-mail: ___________________________ Birthday:
1. Do you have a job besides school? If so, how many hours per week? _____ Where do you work and do you enjoy it? Why or why not?
2. What is your major or strongest area of academic interest? Why?
3. How many units are you taking this quarter? 4. Why have you chosen to come to college?
5. Why did you choose to come to De Anza College, and what will you do, academically or professionally, immediately after you have reached your goals at De Anza College?
6. What may I do to help you be successful in this course? Is there anything personal and/or academic that you’d like me to know in order to support your success? (Ex. Something I can do as a teacher, challenges that you have outside the classroom, etc.)
7. What is one subject/activity you consider yourself to be an expert in?
8. What is one topic or cause that you are passionate about?
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9. What are your three favorite hobbies/activities?
10. What is your favorite quote?
11. What are your three favorite books and/or things you like to read?
12. What are three favorite songs?
13. What are two websites you visit daily?
14. Why are you taking an EWRT 211 class at this time?
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Essay Outline #1 1. Introduction a. ______________________________ b. THESIS: __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ 2. Main Points a. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ b. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ c. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ d. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ e. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ 3. Conclusion a. ______________________________ b. ______________________________
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Essay Outline #2 1. Introduction c. ______________________________ d. THESIS: __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ 4. Main Points a. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ b. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ c. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ d. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ e. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ 5. Conclusion a. ______________________________ b. ______________________________
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Essay Outline #3 1. Introduction a. ______________________________ b. THESIS: __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ 2. Main Points a. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ b. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ c. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ d. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ e. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ 3. Conclusion a. ______________________________ b. ______________________________
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Essay Outline #4 1. Introduction a. ______________________________ b. THESIS: __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ 2. Main Points a. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ b. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ c. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ d. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ e. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ 3. Conclusion a. ______________________________ b. ______________________________
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Essay Outline #5 1. Introduction a. ______________________________ b. THESIS: __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ 2. Main Points a. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ b. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ c. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ d. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ e. ______________________________ i. ______________________________ ii. ______________________________ iii. ______________________________ 3. Conclusion a. ______________________________ b. ______________________________
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Essay #1:What is Your Kryptonite? Topic: What “kryptonite” gets in the way of your best intentions for yourself, and what can you do to live from your ideals more of the time? Cover these points: • Choose just one important goal or ideal you hold for yourself (for example, education or health goals, or personal ideals such as kindness, patience or organization) • Explain why this ideal is important to you • Describe the “kryptonite” e.g. obstacles, habits, or circumstances that is preventing you from living up to that ideal and why you think this happens—look below the surface to the deeper fears or motivations. The answer to the “why” question should be your thesis. • Include a few key incidents and details to make your story more vivid and clear to readers. Use examples from your own life—things you have personally witnessed—but you may also expand your discussion to include a comparison to our reading. Every example needs a clear context (so readers know what’s going on) and explanation of its significance. Audience: Your target reader is another intelligent college student, and other instructors. Explain thoroughly so that even a stranger who is very different than you could understand the significance of the obstacles and ideal you describe. Organization: Start your essay with an introduction that contains an attention grabber and background on the topic End the introduction with a topic/comment thesis that names your ideal and why your “kryptonite” is keeping you from living out your best intentions in this area. Divide the body into 3-6 paragraphs, focusing on one incident or issue in each paragraph. Each paragraph must include specific examples and explanation of how your examples relate to your overall point. Time order for the events is usually the best choice for organization in this essay. Conclude with an idea or solution that you, and others in similar circumstances, could use to address this kind of obstacle.
Due Dates In-Class Pre-Writing: ________________ TIPS+ for Sample Essays ________________ Thesis Draft: __________________ Outline: _______________________ Peer Review: ___________________ Tutoring Form: __________________ Rough Draft (Optional): _____________________ Final Draft: ____________________
Folder Materials 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.
Pre-Writing TIPS+ for Sample Essays Thesis Draft(S) Outline(S) Peer Review Sheets Tutoring Form Rough Draft Final Draft Self-Reflection
Above all, ask for help if you’re stuck.
I’m at
[email protected] (408) 864-8600 Or you can go to the writing center in Lib 107
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Portfolio Connection: This is one of two in-class essays you will be writing for EWRT 211 • You will pick the best one to put in your portfolio • Your in-class essay will be judged on the same scoring rubric as all essays in the portfolio • Please look over the portfolio scoring rubric to make sure you know what is the criteria for the grade
Format: Include a header (i.e., your last name and page number in the upper right corner of every page). Include a heading (i.e., your name, my name, the class,college and the date on the upper left side of the first page of the essay) Use black/blue pen. Double space/skip lines on your essay. Only write on the front side of paper. Use quote sandwiches for any quotes you use in the essay. What I mean is that you need to introduce any quotes that you use, rather than including a “floating quote” that doesn’t incorporate your own words.
Peter Parker Leonard EWRT 211 De Anza College Date Essay #1-FD
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Title
Avoid floating quotes: “Four years of college and plenty of knowledge / Have earned me this useless degree.” When I hear this lyric, I remember wondering what I could do with my English degree once I decided to forgo teaching high school English. Use quote sandwich quote: When Princeton sings, “Four years of college and plenty of knowledge / Have earned me this useless degree,”(Princeton 1) I remember wondering what I could do with my English degree once I decided to forgo teaching high school English.
Self Reflection: At the end of each essay, you will be asked in-class to complete a hand written self-reflection addressing the following questions: 1. How did the essay go? 2. What areas of the essay would you like me to direct my attention? Why? 3. What successes did you have in the writing process? Why? 4. What struggles did you have in the writing process? Why? 5. How helpful was peer review for you? ] 6. How helpful was the tutor? 7. What grade would you give your essay? Why? Criteria for Success: Introduction: • Should be at least ½ to ¾ of a page long • Should include background details and schema on your topic, such as who you are and what the song is about. • Have a clear thesis that includes a Topic and Comment and guides your reader through your essay. It should not be a list/map thesis. Body Paragraphs: • Follow PIE • Have topic sentences that introduce your paragraphs and are opinions not facts • Personal examples • Effectively introduce quotations using the “quote sandwich.” • Use quote sandwiches in every paragraph! • Thoroughly explain your examples with lengthy explanations (E of PIE) that connect back to your thesis and support your argument. Conclusion: • A conclusion that sums up your essay without being to repetitive or boring • Should be ½ page long!
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Essay #1 Rubric: Kryptonite Essay •
Compose a well-written five+-paragraph essay where you discuss an ideal that drives you
and how/ why your “kryptonite” prevents you from realizing your ideal. Remember to use a hook introduction, a solid thesis statement, specific quotes from the lyrics, specific examples from your life, and a big idea conclusion. Grade Points: Organization (hook introduction, thesis in correct place, 3+ PIE paragraphs, and conclusion) (20 points) Thesis Statement (Topic & a Comment) (10 Points)
Exceeds Effective hook introduction draws the reader into the rest of the completely organized essay
Meets Features a somewhat effective hook introduction that draws the reader into the rest of a completely organized essay
Partially Meets Ineffective hook and/or essay demonstrates one need for reorganization
Does Not Meet No hook evident and/or essay demonstrates more than one need for reorganization
Solid thesis with a topic and a comment statement using active, dynamic language
Solid thesis statement with a topic and a comment
Thesis statement has multiple comments and demonstrates need for revision
Thesis statement does not have a topic and a comment.
Life Support (10 Points)
Specific, show not tell details included in each body paragraph
Specific details included in each body paragraph
One body paragraph missing specific details
Two or more body paragraphs missing specific details
Format, Spelling, & Grammar (5 Points)
No distracting errors
1 distracting error
2 distracting errors
3 or more distracting errors
MLA Citation & Quote Sandwiches (5 Points)
No distracting errors
1 distracting error
2 distracting errors
3 or more distracting errors
• •
Final Grade: Points:
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Things that worked:
Things to work on:
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Essay #2: Personal Theme Song Essay
Background: Everyone listens to music, right? Whether it’s pop, rock, rap, jazz, classical, indie, hip-hop, house, folk, country, or a plethora of other genres, everyone is drawn to a particular sound or instrument or style. This first essay will ask you to consider all of the genres and bands and artists and songs you’ve heard and choose one song that speaks to you personally—right now, to a particular time in your life, or to your life in general.
Assignment: Write a 3-4 page essay describing the one song that best represents your life or one aspect of your life or your personality—who you are as a student, artist, athlete, person, etc. This essay should quote specific lyrics that tie to an event (or events) in your life, demonstrating why you feel this particular song best represents you. Keep in mind: you should refrain from writing about romantic relationships because those tend to focus on the other person rather than you.
Your essay should: Include a clear thesis that follows the Topic/Comment Model(i.e., which song represents you and why). Be organized with an introduction, body, and conclusion to structure the essay. Incorporate specific narratives (stories) that reinforce your point in each PIE Paragraph. Integrate specific lyrics that support your point in each PIE Paragraph. Be comprised of at least 3+ pages (about 1000 words). Demonstrate your ability to use grammar, punctuation, and formatting suitable for college.
Due Dates In-Class Pre-Writing: ________________ TIPS+ for Sample Essays ________________ Thesis Draft: __________________ Outline: _______________________ Peer Review: ___________________ Tutoring Form: __________________ Rough Draft (Optional): _____________________ Final Draft: ____________________
Folder Materials 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.
Pre-‐Writing TIPS+ for Sample Essays Thesis Draft(S) Outline(S) Peer Review Sheets Tutoring Form Rough Draft Final Draft Self-‐Reflection
Portfolio Connection: This is one of two out-of-class essays you will be writing for EWRT 211 • You will pick the best one to put in your portfolio • Your in-class essay will be judged on the same scoring rubric as all essays in the portfolio • Please look over the portfolio scoring rubric to make sure you know what is the criteria for the grade
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Format: Include a header (i.e., your last name and page number in the upper right corner of every page). Include a heading (i.e., your name, my name, the class,college and the date on the upper left side of the first page of the essay) Use a standard font like Times New Roman in 12pt size. Double space your essay. Set line spacing at 0pt. Cite the sources where you obtained the lyrics. Use quote sandwiches for the lyrics. What I mean is that you need to introduce any quotes that you use, rather than including a “floating quote” that doesn’t incorporate your own words.
Peter Parker Leonard EWRT 211 De Anza College Date Essay #2-FD
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Title
Avoid floating quotes: “Four years of college and plenty of knowledge / Have earned me this useless degree.” When I hear this lyric, I remember wondering what I could do with my English degree once I decided to forgo teaching high school English. Use quote sandwich quote: When Princeton sings, “Four years of college and plenty of knowledge / Have earned me this useless degree,”(Princeton 1) I remember wondering what I could do with my English degree once I decided to forgo teaching high school English. Self Reflection: At the end of each essay, you will be asked in-class to complete a hand written self-reflection addressing the following questions: 8. How did the essay go? 9. What areas of the essay would you like me to direct my attention? Why? 10. What successes did you have in the writing process? Why? 11. What struggles did you have in the writing process? Why? 12. How helpful was peer review for you? ] 13. How helpful was the tutor? 14. What grade would you give your essay? Why? Criteria for Success: Introduction: • Should be at least ½ to ¾ of a page long • Should include background details and schema on your topic, such as who you are and what the song is about. • Have a clear thesis that includes a Topic and Comment and guides your reader through your essay. It should not be a list/map thesis. Body Paragraphs: • Follow PIE • Have topic sentences that introduce your paragraphs and are opinions not facts • Personal examples • Effectively introduce quotations using the “quote sandwich.” • Use quote sandwiches in every paragraph! • Thoroughly explain your examples with lengthy explanations (E of PIE) that connect back to your thesis and support your argument. Conclusion: • A conclusion that sums up your essay without being to repetitive or boring • Should be ½ page long!
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Essay #2 Rubric: Theme Song Essay Compose a well-written five+-paragraph essay where you discuss how and why a particular song could be considered your theme song. Remember to use a hook introduction, a solid
thesis statement, specific quotes from the lyrics, specific examples from your life, and a big idea conclusion. Grade Points: Organization (hook introduction, thesis in correct place, 3+ PIE paragraphs, and conclusion) (20 points) Thesis Statement (Topic & a Comment) (10 Points)
Exceeds Effective hook introduction draws the reader into the rest of the completely organized essay
Meets Features a somewhat effective hook introduction that draws the reader into the rest of a completely organized essay
Partially Meets Ineffective hook and/or essay demonstrates one need for reorganization
Does Not Meet No hook evident and/or essay demonstrates more than one need for reorganization
Solid thesis with a topic and a comment statement using active, dynamic language
Solid thesis statement with a topic and a comment
Thesis statement has multiple comments and demonstrates need for revision
Thesis statement does not have a topic and a comment.
Text Support (5 Points)
Quotes/moments from the music are effectively embedded into each body paragraph
Quotes/moments from the music are effectively included into each body paragraph
One body paragraph missing a quote/moment from the music
Two or more body paragraphs missing quotes/moments from the music
Life Support (5 Points)
Specific, show not tell details included in each body paragraph
Specific details included in each body paragraph
One body paragraph missing specific details
Two or more body paragraphs missing specific details
Format, Spelling, & Grammar (5 Points)
No distracting errors
1 distracting error
2 distracting errors
3 or more distracting errors
MLA Citation & Quote Sandwiches (5 Points)
No distracting errors
1 distracting error
2 distracting errors
3 or more distracting errors
Final Grade: Points:
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Things that worked:
Things to work on:
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Essay #3: Taking a Stand on Spider-Man 2 After watching Spider-Man 2, we will be discussing and analyzing the movie’s themes, the concepts of a hero and a villain, and various arguments around these terms. At the end of this discussion, you will be writing a paper that uses analysis of the movie to prove your position. You must pick one of the following topics to write on:
ESSAY TOPICS: 1.
Is Spider-Man a hero that New York needs or Vigilante Menace that is causing harm to the city? Why? Please write an essay that clearly argues your position and uses information from the movie to support your position. Your thesis should be an answer to the prompt question. Your essay must have a clear introduction that ends with a thesis statement, 3-5 body paragraphs that follow the PIE model, and a conclusion.
2.
Do you think that Mary Jane should be with Peter or John Jameson? Please write an essay that clearly argues your position and uses information from the movie to support your position. Your thesis should be an answer to the prompt question. Your essay must have a clear introduction that ends with a thesis statement, 3-5 body paragraphs that follow the PIE model, and a conclusion.
3.
Would Peter Parker be happier not being Spider-Man? Please write an essay that clearly argues your position and uses information from the movie to support your position. Your thesis should be an answer to the prompt question. Your essay must have a clear introduction that ends with a thesis statement, 3-5 body paragraphs that follow the PIE model, and a conclusion.
4.
Who is the “real” hero in Spider-Man 2? Why? And, what villain is he/she fighting? Please write an essay that clearly argues your position and uses information from the movie to support your position. Your thesis should be an answer to the prompt question. Your essay must have a clear introduction that ends with a thesis statement, 3-5 body paragraphs that follow the PIE model, and a conclusion.
5.
Why are superhero films like Spider-Man 2 popular with audiences? Please write an essay that clearly argues your position and uses information from the movie to support your position. Your thesis should be an answer to the prompt question. Your essay must have a clear introduction that ends with a thesis statement, 3-5 body paragraphs that follow the PIE model, and a conclusion.
Essay Requirements:
An introduction that provides context on the topic, eases the reader into your essay, and has a “hook” that grabs people’s attention
A thesis statement or controlling idea that takes a strong stand
Transitional topic sentences that are clear, provocative, and develop your thesis and provide unity in your essay
Body paragraphs that follow the PIE paragraph model
Plenty of support from our text: Remember you must have a minimum of 4 quotes from our readings and the movie. (These quotes should be from Spider-Man 2)
For each quote, please use the quote sandwich model (Lead-in, quote, and analysis of quote) discussed in-class
Some analysis of all your supporting examples
A conclusion that offers some ideas about what can be done about the situation
Strong sentences that are both grammatically correct and sophisticated Use proper MLA in-text citations and Works Cited entries.
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DUE DATES: _________ Write Thesis Statement for Essay #3 _________Write your Outline for Essay #3 _________ Write Introduction for Essay #3 _________Write Rough Draft of Essay #3
__________Final Draft of Essay #3 Folder Checklist: • Movie Notes • Outline • Character Map • Outline • Introduction with thesis statement • Rough Draft (optional) • Writing Center Sheet • Final Draft
PAPER FORMAT: 1. 2. 3. 4.
750-1000 words or about 4+ pages. Write in black/blue pen Skip lines/Double Space Have Name, Class, Date, Assignment, and Topic in upper left hand corner. 5. A title that is not GENERIC 6. All drafts, pre-writing, and outline must be turned in with the final copy of the essay
Portfolio Connection: This is one of two in-class essays you will be writing for EWRT 211 • You will pick the best one to put in your portfolio • Your in-class essay will be judged on the same scoring rubric as all essays in the portfolio • Please look over the portfolio scoring rubric to make sure you know what is the criteria for the grade
A Successful Essay Will Have: Introduction: • Should be at least ½ to ¾ of a page long • Should include background details and schema on your topic, such as “what the movie is about” “What is a main theme in the movie” or “What is your definition of a hero?” • Have a clear thesis that includes a concessive (although, though, even though, etc) and guides your reader through your essay. It should not be a list/map thesis. Body Paragraphs: • Follow PIE • Have topic sentences that introduce your paragraphs and are opinions not facts • Personal examples • Effectively introduce quotations using the “quote sandwich.” • Use quote sandwiches in every paragraph! • Thoroughly explain your examples with lengthy explanations (E of PIE) that connect back to your thesis and support your argument. Conclusion: • Look backward and explain how your body paragraphs proved the thesis • Look forward and explain what you want the reader to do with your info • Should be ½ page long!
Works Cited Formula Title. Director’s name. Studio. Year of release. Medium. In-text citation formula. If writing on a computer, (Spider-Man 2). If you are writing in a greenbook, (Spider-‐Man 2). EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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Essay #3 Rubric: Taking a Stand on Spider-Man 2 Compose a well-written five+-paragraph essay where you discuss how and why a particular song could be considered your theme song. Remember to use a hook introduction, a solid
thesis statement, specific quotes from the lyrics, specific examples from your life, and a big idea conclusion. Grade Points: Organization (hook introduction, thesis in correct place, 3+ PIE paragraphs, and conclusion) (20 points) Thesis Statement (Topic & a Comment) (10 Points)
Exceeds
Meets
Partially Meets
Does Not Meet
Effective hook introduction draws the reader into the rest of the completely organized essay
Features a somewhat effective hook introduction that draws the reader into the rest of a completely organized essay
Ineffective hook and/or essay demonstrates one need for reorganization
No hook evident and/or essay demonstrates more than one need for reorganization
Solid thesis with a topic and a comment statement using active, dynamic language
Solid thesis statement with a topic and a comment
Thesis statement has multiple comments and demonstrates need for revision
Thesis statement does not have a topic and a comment.
Text Support (10 Points)
Quotes/moments from the movie or outside texts are effectively embedded into each body paragraph
Quotes/moments from the movie and outside texts are effectively included into each body paragraph
One body paragraph missing a quote/moment from the movie
Two or more body paragraphs missing quotes/moments from the movie
Format, Spelling, & Grammar (5 Points)
No distracting errors
1 distracting error
2 distracting errors
3 or more distracting errors
MLA Citation & Quote Sandwiches (5 Points)
No distracting errors
1 distracting error
2 distracting errors
3 or more distracting errors
Final Grade: Points:
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Things that worked:
Things to work on:
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Essay #4: Taking a Stand on Kick-Ass After reading Kick-ass, we will be discussing and analyzing the books themes, the concepts of a hero and a villain, and various arguments around these terms. At the end of this discussion, you will be writing a paper that uses analysis of the movie to prove your position. You must pick one of the following topics to write on:
ESSAY TOPICS: 1.
Is Kick-Ass a hero that society needs or Vigilante Menace that is causing harm to the city? Why? Please write an essay that clearly argues your position and uses information from the movie to support your position. Your thesis should be an answer to the prompt question. Your essay must have a clear introduction that ends with a thesis statement, 3-‐5 body paragraphs that follow the PIE model, and a conclusion.
2.
Do you think that “Big Daddy” is a good parent? Why/why not? Please write an essay that clearly argues your position and uses information from the movie to support your position. Your thesis should be an answer to the prompt question. Your essay must have a clear introduction that ends with a thesis statement, 3-‐5 body paragraphs that follow the PIE model, and a conclusion.
3.
What drives Kick-Ass to remain a superhero after being hurt? Please write an essay that clearly argues your position and uses information from the movie to support your position. Your thesis should be an answer to the prompt question. Your essay must have a clear introduction that ends with a thesis statement, 3-‐5 body paragraphs that follow the PIE model, and a conclusion.
4.
Does Kick-ass promote vigilantism? Please write an essay that clearly argues your position and uses information from the movie to support your position. Your thesis should be an answer to the prompt question. Your essay must have a clear introduction that ends with a thesis statement, 3-‐5 body paragraphs that follow the PIE model, and a conclusion.
5.
Is Kick-Ass too violent for anyone under 18 to read? Why/Why not? Please write an essay that clearly argues your position and uses information from the movie to support your position. Your thesis should be an answer to the prompt question. Your essay must have a clear introduction that ends with a thesis statement, 3-‐5 body paragraphs that follow the PIE model, and a conclusion.
Essay Requirements:
An introduction that provides context on the topic, eases the reader into your essay, and has a “hook” that grabs people’s attention
A thesis statement or controlling idea that takes a strong stand
Transitional topic sentences that are clear, provocative, and develop your thesis and provide unity in your essay
Body paragraphs that follow the PIE paragraph model
Plenty of support from our text: Remember you must have a minimum of 4 quotes from our readings. (These quotes should be from Kick-Ass 2)
For each quote, please use the quote sandwich model (Lead-in, quote, and analysis of quote) discussed in-class
Some analysis of all your supporting examples
A conclusion that offers some ideas about what can be done about the situation
Strong sentences that are both grammatically correct and sophisticated
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Use proper MLA in-text citations and Works Cited entries.
DUE DATES: _________ Write Thesis Statement for Essay #4 _________Write your Outline for Essay #4 _________ Write Introduction for Essay #4 _________Write Rough Draft of Essay #4
__________Final Draft of Essay #4 Folder Checklist: • Pre-Writing from Class • Journals from Reading • Outline • Character Map • Outline • Introduction with thesis statement • Rough Draft (optional) • Writing Center Sheet • Final Draft • Self-evaluation
PAPER FORMAT: 1. 2. 3. 4.
1000+ words or about 4+ pages. Typed in Times New Roman Font Double Spaced Have Name, Class, Date, Assignment, and Topic in upper left hand corner. 5. A title that is not GENERIC 6. MLA Citations for all material quotes 7. All drafts, pre-writing, and outline must be turned in with the final copy of the essay
A Successful Essay Will Have: Introduction: • Should be at least ½ to ¾ of a page long • Should include background details and schema on your topic, such as “what the book is about” “What is a main theme in the book” or “What is your definition of a hero?” • Have a clear thesis that includes a concessive (although, though, even though, etc) and guides your reader through your essay. It should not be a list/map thesis. Body Paragraphs: • Follow PIE • Have topic sentences that introduce your paragraphs and are opinions not facts • Personal examples • Effectively introduce quotations using the “quote sandwich.” • Use quote sandwiches in every paragraph! • Thoroughly explain your examples with lengthy explanations (E of PIE) that connect back to your thesis and support your argument. Conclusion: • Look backward and explain how your body paragraphs proved the thesis • Look forward and explain what you want the reader to do with your info • Should be ½ page long!
Works Cited Formula Last Name of Author, First Name of Author. Title. City of Publication: Publisher, Year. Print. In-text citation formula. If writing on a computer, (Miller 1).
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Essay #4 Rubric: Taking a Stand on Kick-Ass Compose a well-written five+-paragraph essay where you discuss how and why a particular song could be considered your theme song. Remember to use a hook introduction, a solid
thesis statement, specific quotes from the lyrics, specific examples from your life, and a big idea conclusion. Grade Points: Organization (hook introduction, thesis in correct place, 3+ PIE paragraphs, and conclusion) (20 points) Thesis Statement (Topic & a Comment) (10 Points)
Exceeds Effective hook introduction draws the reader into the rest of the completely organized essay
Meets Features a somewhat effective hook introduction that draws the reader into the rest of a completely organized essay
Partially Meets Ineffective hook and/or essay demonstrates one need for reorganization
Does Not Meet No hook evident and/or essay demonstrates more than one need for reorganization
Solid thesis with a topic and a comment statement using active, dynamic language
Solid thesis statement with a topic and a comment
Thesis statement has multiple comments and demonstrates need for revision
Thesis statement does not have a topic and a comment.
Text Support (10 Points)
Quotes/moments from the movie or outside texts are effectively embedded into each body paragraph
Quotes/moments from the movie and outside texts are effectively included into each body paragraph
One body paragraph missing a quote/moment from the movie
Two or more body paragraphs missing quotes/moments from the movie
Format, Spelling, & Grammar (5 Points)
No distracting errors
1 distracting error
2 distracting errors
3 or more distracting errors
MLA Citation & Quote Sandwiches (5 Points)
No distracting errors
1 distracting error
2 distracting errors
3 or more distracting errors
Final Grade: Points:
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Things that worked:
Things to work on:
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Final Portfolio Instructions Dear EWRT 211 student, Because the English Department is committed to your success here at De Anza and to your goals after your education, your writing for English 211 will be assessed both by your instructor and by other faculty members in the English Department. This assessment process has two parts. First, you must complete the required work in your English 211 at a satisfactory level. Your instructor will give you specific information on both what work is required and the criteria for earning a SATISFACTORY level. Second, all students who satisfactorily complete the English 211 required coursework will submit a portfolio of their writing for departmental assessment. This portfolio will include •
one in-class paper and
•
one paper written out of class
(at least one of these two papers must be an analytical paper), •
and a reflective paper describing and reflecting on your growth as a writer throughout the quarter.
This portfolio will be evaluated by a team of instructors that includes your instructor. If the assessment team agrees your work indicates readiness for English 1A, you will PASS English 211. If the assessment team agrees your work does NOT indicate readiness for English 1A, you will receive a NO PASS for English 211. If the assessment team does not agree, a third English instructor will review your portfolio and resolve the disagreement. The English Department has created this portfolio assessment system to encourage all students to become effective writers, one of the hallmarks of a successful student and of a successful professional. If you have questions about the portfolio or the portfolio assessment, speak with your instructor. THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT DE ANZA COLLEGE
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Essay #5: Reflective Essay Content: Write an essay of at least two pages (750-1000 words) to look back on your progress in writing this quarter and explain why you are ready to go to EWRT1A. This goes in the front of your portfolio, as an introduction to your work for the teachers evaluating the portfolio. Review all the work you've done for the class in reading and writing. Consider why you chose the essays in your portfolio and how they show your readiness for EWRT1A. Give specific examples from these essays to show your improvements.
Discuss what you have learned in EWRT 211. This might include practice in organization, analysis, development, vivid examples, construction of better sentences, proofreading, writing process, and so on.
Include how your writing and reading has changed as a result of what you have learned in this class. Remember to provide specific evidence for your claims.
Include a rebuttal about what still needs improvement? Write about what you'd still like to work on with your writing. Remember that all of us are still trying to be better writers, so what are you going to focus on in 1A and beyond? Audience: De Anza English teachers TONE: Argument/persuasive What we're looking for in the reflective essay:
DUE DATES: _________ Write Thesis Statement for Essay #5 _________Write your Outline for Essay #5 _________Write Rough Draft of Essay #5 __________Final Draft of Essay #5
Clear organization Well-developed, focused paragraphs Specific examples, details Well-constructed sentences
Folder Checklist: • Pre-writing from class • Thesis and Introduction • Outline (Introduction with thesis statement • Rough Draft • Writing Center Sheet (WRC is located in ATC 309) • Final Draft
Correct grammar and punctuation Form: typed, double-space
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Essay Requirements:
An introduction that provides context on the topic, eases the reader into your essay, and has a “hook” that grabs people’s attention
A thesis statement or controlling idea that takes a strong stand
Transitional topic sentences that are clear, provocative, and develop your thesis and provide unity in your essay
Body paragraphs that follow the PIE paragraph model
Plenty of support from our text: Remember you must have a minimum of 4 quotes: 2 quotes from your essays and 2 quotes from the class texts.
For each quote, please use the quote sandwich model (Lead-in, quote, and analysis of quote) discussed in-class
Some analysis of all your supporting examples
A conclusion that offers some ideas about what can be done about the situation
Strong sentences that are both grammatically correct and sophisticated Use proper MLA in-text citations and Works Cited entries.
PAPER FORMAT: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
750-1000 words or about 3-4 pages. All drafts must be typed and double-spaced. Size 12 Times New Roman Font Have Name, Class, Date, Assignment, and Topic in upper left hand corner. A title that is not GENERIC All drafts, pre-writing, and outline must be turned in with the final copy of the essay
A Successful Essay Will Have: Introduction: • Should be at least ½ to ¾ of a page long • Should include background details and schema on your topic, such as “what is LART 211” “What type of a student are you?” or “What is your definition EWRT 1A student?” • Have a clear thesis that includes a concessive (although, though, even though, etc) and guides your reader through your essay. It should not be a list/map thesis. Body Paragraphs: • Follow PIE • Have topic sentences that introduce your paragraphs and are opinions not facts • Personal examples • Effectively introduce quotations using the “quote sandwich.” • Use quote sandwiches in every paragraph! • Thoroughly explain your examples with lengthy explanations (E of PIE) that connect back to your thesis and support your argument. Conclusion: • Look backward and explain how your body paragraphs proved the thesis • Look forward and explain what you want the reader to do with your info • Should be ½ page long!
Works Cited Formula for Citing Your Essays: Last Name of Author, First Name. “Essay Title”. Place of publication: Publisher, Year of publication. Medium of publication. In-text citation Formula. (Authors Last Name, Page Number)
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EWRT 211 ESSAY #5 GRADING Rubric STRONG PASS (90-100%) 1. Reflection demonstrates an excellent understanding of author’s process. Examples are specific and varied. The author has identified strengths and weaknesses, and has mapped out detailed, personalized strategies for improvement. 2. Reflection is 1000 words, contains well-chosen and complete examples, is formatted professionally, and reflects purposeful organization and communication. 3. The writing flows smoothly and language is focused. 4. Nearly perfect grammar, usage, and punctuation. PASS (80-89%) 1. Reflection demonstrates an understanding of author’s process. Examples are specific and varied. The author has identified strengths and weaknesses, and has mapped out personal strategies for improvement. 2. Reflection is 1000 words, contains thoughtful and complete examples, is formatted clearly, and shows thoughtful organization and communication that may have some rough spots. 3. The writing flows smoothly and the language is focused and organized. 4. Solid grammar, usage, and punctuation. BOARDERLINE (70-79%) 1. Reflection demonstrates basic understanding of author’s process. Examples may not be as varied or specific as a B paper. The author has identified some strengths and weaknesses, and has some strategies for improvement that may be general rather than personal. 2. Reflection is 1000 words, contains examples, is formatted appropriately, and reflects some organization and communication principles that may lack some flow. 3. The writing is somewhat focused and organized, although it may lack the flow of an A or B paper. 4. Some grammar, usage, and punctuation mistakes that do not detract from the meaning of the writing. NO PASS (60-69%) 1. Reflection shows lack of understanding of author’s process. Examples may be missing or demonstrably weak or haphazardly chosen. The author may have listed some strengths and weaknesses, but shows a misunderstanding of strategies for improvement or lists general rather than personal issues (e.g. “fix commas”). 2. Reflection is not roughly 1000 words (too short or too long), may be missing examples, may have formatting errors or some sloppiness, and may lack an organization or communication principle. 3. The writing may show little to no focus and flow. 4. Major grammar, usage, and punctuation mistakes that detract from the meaning of the writing. STRONG NO PASS (below 60%) 1. Reflection shows lack of understanding of author’s process. Examples may be missing or demonstrably weak or haphazardly chosen. The author may have omitted strengths and weaknesses or shows a misunderstanding of strategies for improvement or lists general rather than personal issues (e.g. “fix commas”). 2. Reflection is under 700 words, lacks examples, is formatted haphazardly, or lacks an organization or communication principle. 3. The writing may show no focus and flow. 4. Major grammar, usage, and punctuation mistakes that make the writing extremely difficult to comprehend. Categories: 1. 2. 3. 4.
Development and meta-cognition Follows reflection assignment (format, word count) Clarity, flow, coherence Grammar, mechanics, usage
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Revision Checklist If you want to revise an essay, then you will need to complete ALL of the following steps and turn in this checklist and materials. Revisions that do not follow these steps will be returned ungraded. Please check off the following items to show that you have completed them. ❐ Peer Review Sheets: You must have attended peer review for the original essay and you MUST submit your peer review sheets with the revision. If you used your missed peer review coupon, you still must have complete peer review. ❐ Outlines and Rough Drafts: You must have completed all of your outlines, rough drafts, and WRC tutoring sheets on time. Late outlines or rough drafts without a doctor’s note or cleared reason make your essay ineligible for revision. You must submit all outlines and rough drafts with your revision. ❐ Final Draft: You must have submitted your essay on time, or with the late essay coupon. Late essays without a coupon or cleared reason are ineligible for revision. ❐ Gradesheet: You must include the original essay and the gradesheet. Revisions without the original graded essay and gradesheet will not be accepted. ❐ Fill-‐Out the Revision Proposal: See the following page for this handout. You must answer these questions, bring it to me for approval, and submit it with your revised essay. ❐ Make an Appointment with Amy: In order to revise your essay, you must make an appointment with me to review your revision plan. You must bring the revision proposal to the meeting. During this meeting, we will work out a due date for your revision, and I will approve the revision by signing your proposal. This helps ensure that you are on the right track with your revision. ❐ Highlight Your Changes: On your revised essay, you must highlight all of the changes you made. For instance, if you change your thesis, highlight it; if you cut something out, highlight that area. ❐ WRC Tutoring Form: You must also bring your revised essay to the WRC to show a tutor. The tutor must sign the tutorial form, and you must turn this in with your revised essay. ❐ Revision Is More Than Just Grammar: When I read your revision, I am looking for you to fix more than proofreading or grammar errors; I am looking to see significant changes to your paper, so if you only change a few things, changes are that your grade will not improve. ❐ Turn-‐In This Checklist! Remember to complete all of these steps and turn in this checklist.
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Revision Proposal Directions: In order to complete a revision, you must follow the checklist on the previous page. Two of the items on that checklist are: filling out this handout and making an appointment with me (Amy). You will bring this proposal to our meeting so that I can make sure you are on the right track. Please answer the following questions using complete sentences. 1. Read through your essay and the gradesheet. Summarize the strengths of your essay in 3-4 sentences.
2. Read through your essay and the gradesheet. Summarize the weaknesses of your essay in 3-4 sentences.
3. Please list the three major grammatical or proofreading errors in your essay.
4. What strategies will you use to revise your essay? You must list three. You can list pages from the Easy Writer or strategies we have learned in class.
Revision is: Approved
Not Approved
If not approved, here’s what you need to do to get it approved:
Instructor’s signature & Date
Your signature & Date
Revision Due Date:
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Amy Leonard EWRT 211 De Anza College
Essay #6: The Revision Essay The goal when writing an essay revision is to look at your paper and the comment you received on your final draft and • • • • •
• • • •
Step 1: Look over all the essays you have written this semester and pick one that you would like to revise. Hint: It is often better to pick a less successful essay because those essays usually inspire better revision. Step 2: Re-read the original essay assignment and the original essay’s grading criteria and see where your essay succeeded and where your essay needs to improve. Step 3: Re-read my comments throughout your essay. Do you understand them all? Step 4: Make a list of 5-10 questions you have about: “How to Revise Your Paper” bring this to your conference with Amy. Step 5: Write a brief 200 paragraph about why you want to revise this paper and explain what you hope to do to the paper. Also, write a revision plan of at least 5 things you will change/improve in the paper and bring this to your conference with Amy. Step 6: Write a rough draft of your revision, Remember to highlight all changes. Step 7: Bring Rough Draft to Midterm for peer review Step 8: Revise Rough Draft using comments from your peer, proofread essay, and compare essay to the requirements for this essay and the grading criteria for this essay. Step 9: Turn in Final Draft in the Portfolio
Essay Requirements:
An introduction that provides context on the topic, eases the reader into your essay, and has a “hook” that grabs people’s attention
A thesis statement or controlling idea that takes a strong stand
Transitional topic sentences that are clear, provocative, develop your thesis, and provide unity in your essay
Body paragraphs that have a transition, a topic sentence, multiple examples, and a concluding sentence
Plenty of support: either direct quotes or personal experience.
For each quote, please use the Direct Quote model (Lead-in, quote, and analysis of quote) discussed in-class
Some analysis of all your supporting examples
A conclusion that offers some ideas about what can be done about the situation
Strong sentences that are both grammatically correct and sophisticated
Use proper MLA format, in-text citations, and Works Cited entries.
If all your MLA citations and your Works Cited are correct, I’ll add 10pts extra credit to your paper.
PAPER FORMAT: 1. 1000-1200 words (about 4-5 pages). 2. Must be typed and double-spaced. 3. Size 12 Times New Roman Font 4. Have: Name, instructor’s name, Class, Date, and Assignment in upper left hand corner. 5. A title that is not GENERIC
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6.
All Changes must be highlighted (I recommend using the track changes feature on MS Word because it will highlight as you change things)
A Successful Essay Will Have Introduction: A title specific to the topic An attention getter Background on the topic (please make it clear which prompt you are answering) End with your thesis A clearly stated thesis (your opinion – your 1-2 sentence response to the essay prompt) which speaks to the “so what” of the issue and is not merely a list plan of development. Body: Topic sentence that is related to the thesis Supporting evidence Quotes from the text (Remember to cite the quotes) Consideration of and rebuttal against the other side of the topic Conclusion: DO NOT bring up a new topic Do not add new examples or evidence A suggestion of the consequences of your position for society, individuals, what you want to happen in the future, etc.
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The Reading Process
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The Reading Process: What Good Readers Do
Before
During
After
Build up their background knowledge on a subject
Keep checking on their own understanding of the text
Decide if they have achieved their reading goal
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Focus their complete attention on reading
Good Readers
Think about what questions they have about what they read
Know their purpose for reading
Use comprehension strategies when they don’t understand the text
Summarize and react to what they have read—form opinions!
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Denotation vs. Connotation
1
•
Denotation refers to the literal meaning of a word, the "dictionary definition."¨ For example, if you look up the word snake in a dictionary, you will discover that one of its denotative meanings is "any of numerous scaly, legless, sometimes venomous reptiles; having a long, tapering, cylindrical body and found in most tropical and temperate regions."
•
Connotation, on the other hand, refers to the associations that are connected to a certain word or the emotional suggestions related to that word. The connotative meanings of a word exist together with the denotative meanings. The connotations for the word snake could include evil or danger. Connotations can be negative or positive.
Consider the following sentence: I am firm; you are stubborn; he is pig-headed! While all three underlined words have similar denotations, their connotations are clearly quite different, progressing from positive to negative to insulting! Example: Word Stop Sign
Denotation Stop (even without words, we recognize the meaning from the shape and color)
Connotation Risk (accident or ticket)
Exercises: Neutral Word
Denotation (dictionary definition)
Positive Connotation
Negative Connotation
1. Home
The place where one lives
Mansion
Shack
2. Prison
A place where criminals are confined.
Correctional facility
3. Talk 4. Frugal
Exchange ideas by spoken words Not wasteful; living simply
5. Eat
Consume food
gossip Thrifty
1
Inspired by Natalie Panifili! EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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Figures of Speech Literal vs. Figurative Language Writers often deviate from the denotative meanings of words to create fresher ideas and images. Such deviations from the literal meanings are called figures of speech or figurative language. If you say that your car is your best friend, you are using a figure of speech. There are many different kinds of figures of speech, such as metaphors, similes, personification, hyperbole, understatement, paradox, and pun. It's important that you understand several kinds of figures of speech. Figures of Speech 1 A simile is a comparison between two dissimilar objects using a word like as or like to connect them. For example, if you say, "my boyfriend is like a watermelon in the summer,"¨ you are creating a simile that compares your boyfriend with a watermelon. If on the other hand you are mad at your boyfriend and say, "he's like a typhoon in the house," you're comparing your boyfriend with a typhoon. A metaphor is similar to a simile, except that a metaphor compares two dissimilar objects without using a word like as or like. If you write, "my boyfriend is an angel" or "my motorcycle is a bomb on wheels," you are creating metaphors. If you present an inanimate object, animal, or abstraction with human qualities and characteristics, as though it were a person, you are using personification. If you tell yourself that you have to put your new pencil back in the pencil box because it's lonely and wants to go home, you are personifying your pencil. If you say that you have to talk sweetly to your computer because it is temperamental, you are personifying your pencil. Figures of Speech 2: Irony. Irony involves a contradiction. "In general, irony is the perception of a clash between appearance and reality, between seems and is, or between ought and is" (Harper Handbook). Verbal irony-‐-‐"Saying something contrary to what it means" (Harper Handbook). In daily language, being ironic means that you say something but mean the opposite to what you say. "Oh, how lucky we are to have SO MANY online materials offered by the Introduction to Literature class!" you said, and you might mean it, or you might be just ironic. If you are ironic, there is a contradiction between your literal meaning and your actual meaning-‐-‐and this is what we call verbal (rhetoric) irony. When the narrator in Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery" says, "Although the villagers had forgotten the ritual and lost the original black box, they still remembered to use stones," the tone is ironic because the villagers seem civilized, but they are actually barbaric. Besides verbal irony, we have two other kinds of irony: dramatic irony and situational irony. "Dramatic irony"-‐-‐"saying or doing something while unaware of its ironic contrast with the whole truth. Dramatic irony, named for its frequency in Drama, is a verbal irony with the speaker's awareness erased" -‐-‐ so that the irony is on the speaker him/herself, but not what s/he talks about. There are a lot of examples in Dramatic Monologues. For instance, when the duke in "My Last Duchess" says of the late duchess, "There she is, as if alilve," the irony is on him because the duchess IS dead (though seems alive). Here the irony is not the duke's; it is on him because he thought he posesses her, though he cannot -‐-‐ alive or dead. Situational irony-‐-‐ "events turning to the opposite of what is expected or what should be. The ironic situation -‐-‐the "ought" upended by the is -‐-‐ is integral to dramatic irony"(Harper Handbook). In Alanis Morissete's "Ironic," we can see a lot of situational ironies -‐-‐ or ironies of fate.
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Figures of Speech 3 Hyperbole (sometimes called overstatement) occurs when you exaggerate a point that you are trying to make. If you say that the lights in our classroom are too bright because they are brighter than ten thousand suns, you are using an example of hyperbole. Or if you say that you're so hungry you could eat a million cookies and six gallon of ice cream, you're using hyperbole. Others: Understatement is related to hyperbole in that understatement is the opposite of hyperbole: understatement implies more than is actually stated. Let's say on the exam over short stories, you receive a grade of 100 when the class average is 71. If one of your classmates ask you how you did on the test and you reply, "I did okay," that is understatement. A sentence that contains a paradox seems initially to have contradictory elements in it but after some reflection those elements later make sense. To say, for example, that morning is the darkest time for me is paradoxical since mornings are bright and full of light but they seem mentally "dark" to me because I'm a night-‐person. A pun is a play on words that occurs when one word is used that reminds you of another word or words. You can, for example, use a word that looks like or sounds like another word. For example, if my dad says, "he is the son and all the world to me," there is a pun on the words son and sun.
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Figures of Speech Definition Sheet TERM
DEFINITION
EXAMPLE
Simile Metaphor Personification Irony Dramatic Irony Situational Irony Hyperbole Understatement Paradox Pun
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Literary Terms 1. Allegory: A narrative in verse or prose, in which abstract qualities (death, pride, greed, for example) are personified as characters. 2. Alliteration: Repetition of an initial consonant or cluster sound in two or more words in a line or in lines in close proximity. 3. Allusion: A figure of speech that makes an indirect or casual reference to a historical or literary figure, event, or object. 4. Ambiguity: A phrase, statement, or situation that may be understood in two or more ways. In literature ambiguity is used to enrich meaning or achieve irony by forcing readers to consider alternative possibilities. 5. Antagonist: A character who rivals or opposes the protagonist. 6. Archetype: Themes, images, and narrative patterns that are universal and thus embody some enduring aspects of human experience. Some of these themes are the death and rebirth of the hero, the underground journey, and the search for the father. 7. Central Intelligence: Another variation on the third person point of view, where narrative elements are limited to what a single character sees, thinks, and hears. 8. Characterization: The portrayal of a character by direct description, by his or her actions, or by other characters’ revelations about him or her. 9. Climax: The highest point of interest and excitement in a narrative or story. 10. Conflict: A source of anxiety, frustration, or opposition that motivates a character into action; conflict may come from another character, and antagonist, a society or political or social group, nature, or the individual’s personality. 11. Diction: Appropriate selection of words and their appropriate usage; a level of speech that may be high (formal), middle, or low (informal, colloquial, or slang). 12. Forshadowing: Subtle indication of future events. 13. Irony: A figure of speech, often humorous or sarcastic, in which the intended meaning of the words contrasts directly with the usual meaning, also called verbal irony; dramatic irony refers to a situation in which a character’s speech or actions have an unintended meaning known to the audience but not the character. 14. Imagery: Descriptive language used to convey a mental picture that calls into action one of the five senses or kinesthesia; imagery may be literal or figurative. 15. Metaphor: A figure of speech showing the similarity of dissimilar things; a contrast in which an object is identified with another wholly different object by analogy. EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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16. Narrator (or Point of View): The teller of a story, who may be first–person, third-person, central intelligence, omniscient, objective, or intrusive. 17. Non-linear Narration: The manner of telling the events of a story with the use of flashbacks and meditations; the opposite of a chronological story. 18. Omniscient Narrator: An all-knowing narrator; a third-person narration in which the narrator describes all of the action and characterization. 19. Pathetic Fallacy: A kind of personification that attributes human feelings or animate qualities to inanimate things; false emotionalism. 20. Persona: A second self created by an author to tell a story. 21. Plot: The action of a story; the narration of events employing the use of character, conflict, rising action, climax, falling action, a resolution or denouement. 22. Protagonist: The main character in a story, novel, or play. 23. Rising Action: Intensification of action based on the protagonist’s attempts to resolve conflict; the action leading up to the climax. 24. Round Character: A term coined by E.M. Forester meaning a complex character; the opposite of a flat character or stereotype. 25. Setting: The place, time, and social context in which a work occurs. Often the setting contributes significantly to the story. 26. Simile: The direct comparison of two unlike objects or ideas joined by like, as, or seems. 27. Stream of Consciousness: The thoughts, feelings, emotions of a character presented as he or she thinks them. 28. Symbol: An object, idea, person, or place that means more that what it is literally; figurative levels of meaning that accrue to any object. 29. Symbolism: The use of one object to suggest or represent another object. 30. Theme: The main or underlying idea of a work, the point or message of the work. 31. Tone: An attitude or quality of voice that conveys a sense of feeling or emotion. 32. Unreliable narrator: The speaker or voice of a work who is not able to accurately or objectively report events.
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ELEMENTS OF A STORY/LITERARY TERMS Directions: Below each term, in the space on the right, please rewrite this term and its definition in your words. In the space on the left, please illustrate your definition. PLOT: The primary sequence of events that setup or tell a story TYPES OF PLOT 1. Human vs. Human: the sequence of events sets up a conflict between two or more characters. 2. Human vs. Nature: the primary conflict in this sequence of events is between a character (or characters) and natural environment. 3. Human vs. Society: one or more of the characters experiences a sequence of events that places him (or them) at odds with the larger community. 4. Human vs. Self: in this sequence of events, a character struggles with him or herself. Your Illustration/Symbol
Your Words/Example
Human vs. Human Human vs. Nature Human vs. Society Human vs. Self
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CHARACTERS: A person, persona, or identity within a fiction story TYPES OF CHARACTERS 1. Protagonist: Typically the main character, the protagonist is usually the character highlighted in the story, the character whom the plot revolves around. 2. Antagonist: The source of conflict for the protagonist. 3. Minor Character: Often provides support and illuminates the protagonist. 4. Static Character: A character that remains the same. 5. Dynamic character: A character that changes in some important way. 6. Characterization: The choices an author makes to reveal a character’s personality, such as appearance, actions, dialogue, and motivations. Your Illustration/Symbol
Your Words/Example
Protagonist
Antagonist
Minor
Static
Dynamic
Characterization
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POINT OF VIEW (POV): Pertains to who tells the story and how it is told. The perspective from which the story is told. 1. Narrator: The person telling the story who may or may not be a character in the story. 2. First Person: The narrator speaks from an “I” perspective. Narrator participates in the action but sometimes has limited knowledge/vision. 3. Second Person: Narrator addresses the reader directly as though she is part of the story. (I.e. “You walk into your bedroom. You see clutter everywhere…”) 4. Third Person (Objective): Narrator is unnamed/unidentified (a detached observer). Does not assume character’s perspective and is not a character in the story. The narrator reports on events and lets the reader make inferences about the meaning. 5. Omniscient: All-knowing narrator (multiple perspectives). The narrator knows what each character is thinking and feeling, not just what they are doing throughout the story. This type of narrator usually jumps around within the text, following one character for a few pages or chapters, and then switching to another character for a few pages, chapters, etc. Omniscient narrators also sometimes step out of a particular character’s mind to evaluate him or her in some meaningful way.
Your Illustration/Symbol
Your Words/Example
Narrator
First Person
Second Person
Third Person/Objective Omniscient
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Other Important Literary Terms: SETTING: Where the events of the story take place. CONFLICT: The tension, disagreement, or discord that occurs in a story. RISING ACTION: The action or events in the story that stem from the primary conflict and lead to the climax. CLIMAX: The point of greatest intensity in a story, a culminating point, usually led up to by rising action and followed by a resolution. RESOLUTION: The final outcome to solve or address the conflict. SYMBOL: An iconic representation that stands for something larger than itself. THEME: A main idea or emphasized aspect of a story. FORESHADOWING: A moment in the story when the reader feels like something to happen later in the story is alluded to or referenced to. Your Illustration/Symbol
Your Words/Example
Setting
Conflict
Rising Action
Climax
Resolution
Symbol
Theme
Foreshadowing
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Analytic Tools for Deconstructing Literary Texts by Marilyn Patton "Close Reading" --Note significant details in a short passage, preferably one or two paragraphs. Circle words that stand out for you and connect (even with lines) those words and phrases that can be associated with each other, which relate to similar themes. List the themes of the whole text which are important in this passage (at least three), and suggest how this passage is related to those themes. That is, does this passage subvert, reinforce, or add a new dimension to themes worked out in other parts of the text? How? What connections can you make to the whole text? Style: Define the style and suggest a relationship between that style and the content (meaning) of the passage. Think about the structure/ progress/ movement of the passage, and how that structure connects to the structure of the whole work. Think about the metaphoric possibilities within the passage -- for example, the setting or a person is a metaphor for ___________. Work out the implications of the details in the passage for the metaphoric equivalents. Imagery: Trace a set of images through a whole text. Note the metonymic associations in each instance in which the image is used; this may mean deciding what is happening in the PLOT every time the image is used. Note the CHANGES in the image, and if there is a "shape" to the use of the images. What sort of "plot" or story does this series of images tell? Does this "subplot" or "subtext" reinforce or contradict the overt plot of the text? What would a discrepancy imply? Specify the relationship between the imagery you've studied and the whole text. Oppositional categories: Divide the whole text into oppositional categories such as Good/ Evil, Past/ Present, Inside/ Outside, Male/ Female, Subjective/ Objective, Powerful/ Powerless, etc. Then attempt to line up characters, objects, and events on either side of the opposition. THEN analyze which characters, objects, or events RESIST inclusion into a specific category, or whose characteristics suggest that they belong on both sides of the "divide." How and why do they transgress the boundaries? What does the resistance to categorization do to the "meanings" of the text? Think of the most divided character as a sort of "Christ hung upon the cross." [For more, see Barbara Johnson's "Opening Remarks" in The Critical Difference.] Overlay your text onto a "larger" or older story, such as the Bible, the Trojan War, the Odyssey, Greek or other myths, fairy tales, Star Wars, Native American "trickster" stories, or Afro-American voodoo and other stories -- or other ethnic legends as appropriate. Paradise Lost and Pilgrim's Progress are commonly used to structure later plots. Which characters in your text play which roles? Which places and events serve as substitutes for places and events in the "mythic" story? What deviations from the pattern do you notice? The deviations are often the most interesting points to pursue -- why does your author suddenly work against the older story? Frames: Check the epigraphs, introductions, prefaces, codas, afterwards, and other apparatus surrounding the text. What relationship does that apparatus, the "frame," have to the text itself? Think about whether the frame serves as a miniature, or a foreshadowing of plot or theme or characterization in the whole text OR whether it seems in some way to work against the text. Why? Fictionality and truth are often issues here. Interpolated Stories: If a story is told or read or in some other way placed "inside" of the text you are studying, think about it as a comment upon the text in the same ways as you would do with frames, above. It if works against the text, in tone or content or plot, think about why that would be. EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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Maps: As you read the text, make a sketch of it. This can be either quite subjective (according to your private criteria) or it can be simply a geographical outline of the movements of the main characters. Insides and outsides, islands, bodies of water, public and private spaces, movements south, north, east, and west, movements to high and low geographical formations: all should be noted. Then you can analyze the text using other criteria developed through other analytic tools. Metaphors: Certain objects, especially if they occur repeatedly, often are being used metaphorically, to indicate other levels of "meaning" beyond the simple concrete idea that, for example, the House of Usher split apart. I suggest watching out for Houses/ Buildings (public and private spaces), Bodies, Landscapes, Seasons, Addictions, Colors, Animals (and people with animal characteristics), Writing, Theater, and sub-categories of each of these. Then use this chart to see if the metaphors work at any of these levels, and what the implications are for the text: Level Metaphoric implications of the object Object (the House nonmetaphoric) Psychological Attic = Thoughts (super-ego), Hearth = Heart, Cellar = Desires (Id) Physical Windows = Eyes, Door = Mouth, Attic = Brain Historical Family line as in a royal family ("The House of Windsor") Political One's nation, a "house divided against itself cannot stand" (Lincoln) Religious Heaven or Hell? (see esp. Uncle Tom's Cabin) Art The book itself as a "house," "built" by the author Greimas machine: Use a "Greimas machine" to work out dynamic relationships within the text. This machine can reveal absences as well as presences. Remember that "S" should be a positive quality, not a person or thing. See Hayden White's The Content of the Form for more, pp. 158-9. Burke's Pentad: Use Burke's Pentad to check yourself to make certain that you have covered all possible approaches to the text.
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Annotation As we discussed in class, good readers employ many strategies before, during, and after reading to ensure that they understand what they are reading. One strategy we’ve talked about is schema activation (thinking about what you already on a topic). KWL+ can help you activate your background knowledge (schema) and organize your thoughts and notes before and after reading. Another strategy you can employ during the reading process is annotation, which means marking the text as you read it.
Why Annotate? Although annotation may seem to take too much time, it can benefit you in a couple of ways. The first is that if you have to look back at the text—for a class discussion, or an essay—you won’t have to reread the entire piece for the spot you’re looking for. Another is that annotation helps you remember the ideas you think of when you are reading. If something confuses or interests you mark it, so you can remember it later; if something reminds you of something else you read or talked about mark it!
Some Suggestions for Annotating It’s important to use a system or set of symbols when annotating, because otherwise you might not remember why you marked something. Write notes in the margin or at the top or bottom of the page. For example, jot down main ideas, key summary words or phrases next to their respective paragraphs. Circle or underline key words or phrases. Use stars ✩or asterisks ** in the margins to emphasize the most important ideas. Pose questions in the margins to express your difference of opinion about the author’s message, or put a question mark next to anything you don’t understand (what teachers mean when they ask, “Any questions about last night’s reading?”). Use a personal symbol (!, Yes!, Right!, ) next to anything that seems on target to you.
Write notes or questions on Post-Its / sticky notes and use them to mark important pages of the text. (Especially great for library books or books you want to sell back at the end of the semester.)
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Journal Entries In addition to the readings I assign you in class, you will also be keeping a journal in a notebook or composition book. I will be collecting these journals periodically throughout the semester so that I can read and respond to what you write. Usually, when I assign you a journal entry for homework, I will assign you a specific type of journal to write (see below), but occasionally I will give you some freedom on what to write. Note: I expect these journals to be handwritten and 1-2 pages in length. Types of Journals You will be doing: 1. Reading Response Most of the journals I assign will be to write a response to the assigned readings. Often I will give you questions to write on that will ask you to think personally about the text (how does your personal experience connect to what you read?) or critically (do you agree with author? Why or why not?) 2. Using the Strategies (i.e. Toumin Analysis, TIPS+, Double-Entry Journals, etc.) Besides responding to questions on the readings, you will also be using your journals to practice the strategies we will be working on in class. For instance, during the first unit, we will be focusing on Toulmin Analysis, and later we will be adding in more tools. Initially, I will give you handouts to fill in, but as the semester progresses, I will ask that you recreate these strategies in your journals. 3. Process Journal In addition to the reading responses, you will also be using your journal to write on your reading and writing processes. Again, I will give you prompts to direct these entries. Topics will include: Reflect on your writing process. What is the first thing you do when writing a rough draft? 4. Reflective Journal As I mentioned in the lecture on schema, one of the most important things that good readers and writers do is to reflect on the strategies they use to determine how well they are working. In addition to various reflection strategies will be using in class, I will also ask you to reflect on these strategies (KWL+, freewriting, shitty drafts, etc) in your journal. You will write on how (or how not) these strategies or helping you, and how you can better improve on them.
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Double-Entry Journals During this unit, one of the things we will be working on is incorporating information from the readings into your writing as away of strengthening your argument. Double-Entry Journals (also known as dialectical journals) will help prepare you for this while also providing you with away of organizing and reflecting on what you read. In particular Double-Entry Journals help you: 1) Interact with new information in a variety of formats 2) Relate information to prior knowledge 3) Generate ideas for class discussions and writing assignments. Your entries can include, but are not limited to, one or more of the following: • a quote, word, or phrase that is interesting or confusing • a paraphrase of a complex segment of text • a possible explanation of a confusing material • a main idea from the resource and why it is important • a strong positive or negative reaction and an explanation of that reaction • a reason for agreeing or disagreeing with the author/producer • a comparison and/or contrast of a passage with another resource or with prior knowledge • a prediction based on evidence from the resource • a question generated as a result of reading, viewing, or hearing the resource • a description of a personal experience that relates to the resource *In class I will provide you with a handout to assist you in creating a double-entry journal. **See the following page for a sample double-entry journal.
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Sample Double-Entry Journal (On Bolinger’s “Dialect”) Directions:
In the first column write passages from the text that you find interesting, or confusing. In the second column comment on the passages you have chosen.
THE TEXT Below, write key quotes or passages from the text
•
•
“The infant differs from the child, the child from the adolescent, the adolescent from the adult. The most extreme case is baby talk…” (Pg. 97).
“It is part of an economic order in which everyone’s way of earning somehow influences his speech because of the need to manipulate a certain set of objects and concepts that are the tools of the profession. But ordinarily it goes no deeper than the choice of terms to match the objects” (pg. 99).
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YOUR THOUGHTS Below, respond to the passages or quotes you listed in the first column. You may wish to ask a question, evaluate, reflect, analyze, or interpret the passage in the left column—whatever comes to mind! • I can definitely see this in my own life.
•
As I’ve gotten older, I keep changing the way I speak. I think now I try to sound more mature by using a bigger vocabulary or not using so much slang. I’m not sure that I understand what this means. I know economic has to do with how much money you have, so I guess this is talking about how people from different backgrounds talk differently. And I think Bolinger is also talking about how different groups name things differently.
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Triple-Entry Journals For this unit you will be using Triple-Entry Journals as a tool to actively read the assigned texts and to gather evidence and notes that you will use for your written assignments. Like the Double-Entry Journal, the Triple-Entry Journal also requires that you divide your paper into separate columns so you can organize and reflect upon what you read (one column for quotes/passages and another column for your reflections on the text). However, the TripleEntry Journal takes this process a step further by adding in a third column: in this column you further reflect on what you have read by thinking of how the reading connects to other articles or ideas we have discussed in class or you have discussed elsewhere. Below is more detailed description of the Triple-Entry Journal ✓
As we are focusing on the use of textual evidence to support your ideas, in Column 1 you will select evidence in the form of quotations from the text, or paraphrase moments / scenes that you think are important, interesting or difficult, or that you want to explore further.
✓
In Column 2 you will reflect upon the textual evidence as a reader, in the same way you did for your double-entry journals: making connections to your own experience, sharing your personal thoughts on the evidence, making inferences about the text and commenting on what this evidence means to you as a reader. You can also discuss any problems or difficulties you had with a particular word or with the evidence itself.
✓
In Column 3 you will be thinking about the evidence in a broader context. This is where you will consider further implications from the text and make connections to the world and larger social issues that you feel this text speaks to. You might want to connect the evidence to another text we have read throughout the semester, an issue that we have discussed in class, or something you have read or heard about outside of class.
See the following page for a sample Triple-Entry Journal.
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Sample Triple-Entry Journal on Our America Evidence From Text Select a quote or paraphrase a scene you find interesting or difficult “These kids around here are looking at life from the inside out and not from the outside in…” LeAlan, p. 43
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Reflection as a Reader
Further Implications
Record your thoughts and insights Make connections to other texts, issues, ideas This is an interesting way of looking at things. LeAlan is very conscious of his surroundings, unlike most of the people he sees in his neighborhood. It seems like you have to look at yourself from the outside to become aware of the things you are doing wrong and to recognize your own potential.
This reminds me of Malcolm X’s “Learning to Read,” as Malcolm only starts to succeed when he sees himself from the outside in. This also reminds me of metacognition. We have to look at ourselves from the outside to know what we are doing right and wrong as readers.
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The Text
Your Thoughts implications)
Connections (further
Directions: The purpose of the TEJ is to get you thinking about how the reading relates to other readings or issues we’ve discussed.
Triple Entry Journal
The Levels of Questioning
Background: In class you’ve been learning about how important questions are to active reading and learning. Questions help you discover and clarify information (such as earlier in the class when you worked on asking specific questions to get specific information from your partners). As well, we’ve also talked about how questions help you reflect on your processes as a reader and a writer so that you can improve your reading and writing skills. Procedure: Though many times in class I have asked you questions to help get discussions started or to help you reflect on the assignments, you are going to work on creating your own questions, so that you can become more independent readers and writers. Of course, most of you already ask questions all the time; we, however, will be working on a specific type of questions. Types of Questions: On a basic level, questions fall into three different categories: factual, inferential and interpretive, and critical and evaluative. Don’t worry too much about these names right now; we will be discussing them further throughout the semester.
L e v e l 1: Factual
L e v e l 2:
Reader & Text:
Reader & Text:
Reader looks for facts
Reader interprets text
Questions Start with: Exact Words Who? What? Where? When?
Inferential and Interpretive
Questions Start with: Why? How? Summarize Compare
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L e v e l 3: Critical and Evaluative Reader & Text Reader evaluates text based on his or her prior experience Questions Start with: Agree/Disagree & Why Critique What if
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Practice Questioning Levels with the Teacher
•
Write a Level 1 Question for the teacher:
•
Write a level 2 Question for the teacher:
•
Write a level 3 question for the teacher: Practice Questioning Levels with the Articles
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Write a Level 1 Question about each article:
•
Write a level 2 Question about each article:
•
Write a level 3 question about each article:
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TIPS + Topic
What is the topic or subject of this reading?
Idea
What is the main idea or overall message of this reading? What is the message about the topic?
Points
What are the main supporting points? (What evidence, examples, quotes, or facts does the author present us with to make her main idea more believable?
Summarize
In no more than 4-5 sentences and using your own words, summarize the reading.
+
Respond to the reading by answering any of the following • What is your reaction to this piece and why do you think you have this reaction? • What is most interesting and important to you about this article?
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K-W-L-+ Purpose: KWL+ represents a four-step procedure intended to help readers access appropriate background knowledge when reading an expository text. Rationale: K-W-L-+ was developed to ensure that readers activate their background knowledge and become engaged in the reading task. The framework involves well-developed procedures for brainstorming, generating categories for organizing ideas, specifying questions, checking what was learned and guiding further reading. Description of the Procedure: K-W-L-+ involves four basic steps: assessing what you know, determining what you want to learn,, determining what you did learn as a result of reading, and deciding what you still want to learn. •
Step K—What I Know Step K involves two steps: brainstorming and generating categories for ideas. 1. Prior to reading the selection you are to brainstorm in response to a concept or guiding question. 2. Generate categories of information which you will likely encounter when you read a selection. •
Step W—What Do You Want to Learn? In conjunction with brainstorming and developing categories, you begin to develop interests and curiosities. It is at this time that you will discuss various possible questions for the class and specific questions for yourself as well. After generating these questions, you READ the selection.
•
Step L—What I Learned After you finish reading the selection, write down what you have learned. Now you have a set of reading notes. What do you know that you did not know before?
•
Step +--What I Still Want to Learn Check to see what questions you still need answered. What additional questions do you have as a result of the reading? These questions can guide further research and reading.
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KWL+TOPIC: _______________________________________________________________________ What I Know
What I Want to Know
What I Learned
What I Still Want to Know:
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KWL+TOPIC: _______________________________________________________________________ What I Know
What I Want to Know
What I Learned
What I Still Want to Know:
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KWL+TOPIC: _______________________________________________________________________ What I Know
What I Want to Know
What I Learned
What I Still Want to Know:
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Readings
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Superman Really Will Save Us: We Are All Superheroes! There's a reason why the biggest blockbusters are all superhero films. They provide comfort and fulfill fantasies BY ROBIN S. ROSENBERG If you’re reading this, it’s probably because you have at least a passing interest in superheroes. You’re not alone. Perhaps your interest in superheroes dates back to your youth, reading comic books or watching Saturday morning cartoons. Or maybe you watched a superhero movie or television show. In any case, there was something about superheroes—or a particular superhero— that piqued your interest and got you thinking or fantasizing. What is it about superheroes and their stories that captivates or intrigues us? Is it the underlying morality tales, the familiarity of the story arcs, the appealing characters, or the action? Different elements appeal to each individual. See whether any of the reasons I discuss below resonate with you. A callback to youth An adult experience with superheroes can remind us of our childhood: the ways that our imagination was so powerful that our fantasies seemed real. I think that superhero stories, particularly films that have good special effects, a good script, and well-acted characters, create a bridge between our childhood fantasies and our adult realism. Consider that children are more hypnotizable than adults, and can more readily and vividly go into their own world, shutting out external reality and creating a world limited only by their imagination. Live-action superhero stories allow us to recapture periods of our childhood when our imaginations were cranked up to the maximum—when we really believed we could fly or knock down the bad guy or save the city from disaster. I suggest that superhero films in a darkened movie theater are most able to put us into this fantasied land. The darkened theater minimizes the viewer’s visual awareness of anything other than the screen. It’s easier to lose track of the person sitting in the next seat or the kids fidgeting a few rows ahead. We could turn the lights down at home when watching a DVD or television show, but unless the screen at home is a very large one, a movie theater viewing experience is still likely to be better because the screen fills the viewer’s visual field. All these visual elements (and of course the surround sound) make it easier to immerse ourselves in the film. And with a superhero film, we are immersing ourselves in a fantasied world. As in the “Toy Story” films, previously static figures (in this case, of comic book characters) come to life before our very eyes. Superhero stories are familiar. The superhero is challenged by a moral dilemma, physical trial, or both (often instigated by a villain). The superhero triumphs, sometimes learning and growing in the process. Spider-Man must defeat the Green Goblin, and in doing so discovers his own strength of character. The Joker induces Batman to make difficult choices (such as choosing whether to rescue Harvey Dent or Rachel Dawes, in “The Dark Knight”) and in doing so Batman learns something about his opponent and himself. The stories generally follow the standard basic plots with which we are familiar. In fact, we may know the form of the story arc even before the story begins. This is especially true of origin stories, which form the bread and butter of superhero films and typically conform to some version of the hero’s journey in which the protagonist is, after some challenges and setbacks, transformed and dedicates his or her life to an altruistic purpose. After all, that’s what hero stories are about. In this way, the stories are, broadly speaking, predictable EWRT 211/DE Anza College Leonard 66
and formulaic. Being formulaic isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Research on readers’ enjoyment of a related type of story—mysteries—indicates that people generally enjoy simpler stories more than complex ones. We may prefer our superhero stories to be relatively simple. Their predictable, formulaic tales can also be reassuring: We can allow ourselves to become anxious on behalf of the story’s characters because we know that all will turn out right in the end. Or if not at the end of one episode or comic book story, then in a subsequent one. (I am making a general statement. In comic books, some superheroes or their sidekicks have had long-term or seemingly permanent harm befall them, as when Superman dies in the Death of Superhero [1992], Batgirl becomes permanently paralyzed in The Killing Joke [1988], or when Captain America dies in The Death of Captain America [2007–2008]. These instances stand out because they do not follow the conventional pattern of the superhero always triumphing. William Goldman’s wonderful novel “The Princess Bride” and the film version of his book play on the reader/viewer’s expectations of the hero triumphing in the end.) A story’s tension is thus cathartic. We don’t have to worry about getting too devastated, as we might with more realistic hero stories that don’t have a formulaic plot. In fact, “The Dark Knight” film– Spoiler alert!–took many of viewers by surprise because a main character dies.If you’re like most viewers of that film, you probably thought that both Harvey Dent and Rachel Dawes would be saved simultaneously. Similarly, “Star Trek” prequel viewers were likely surprised when Spock’s mother dies because we know from previous Star Trek stories that she’s supposed to live! Our complacency about predicting a happy ending was challenged in these films. This was also true toward the end of “The Dark Knight Rises.” Superheroes as a special kind of escape Good fiction, and good storytelling of any kind, allows us to become immersed in someone else’s world and in doing so provides us with both an escape and emotional engagement. We can lose ourselves and temporarily forget our worries and woes, fears and foes. We also get drawn in to the characters’ world and issues. Superheroes stories, even when stories take place on alien worlds—such as Green Lantern’s Oa or Thor’s Asgard—provide human dilemmas in different contexts, as did Greek myths and other enduring mythic tales. The stories’ core themes of right versus wrong, personal choice, sacrifice for the greater good, finding purpose and meaning, resonate with readers and viewers. The way these themes play out in superhero stories can get us feeling and thinking, as the stories explore potential dire consequences as a result of particular actions. A 1970 Green Arrow/Green Lantern story (issue #81), for instance, was ahead of its time, exploring the theme of overpopulation; the two superheroes visit the planet Maltus and see the dire effects of overpopulation, yet there is no “villain” behind it. A life-and-death version of game theory is explored in “The Dark Knight” (2008), when the Joker rigs two ships to blow up, with each ship holding the detonator to and fate of the other ship. Superhero stories also highlight current political issues by exaggerating them, providing moral and political commentary. X-Men stories in comics and film, for example, explore themes of prejudice and discrimination as well as institutionally sanctioned discrimination, such as state-sponsored kidnapping and experimentation on mutants. (Among the X-Men films, these issues stand out in “X-Men 2,” released in 2003.) Above all, the stories provide drama, action, suspense, and romance. They present us with action, aggression, villains we love to hate, moral dilemmas, and protagonists who inspire us. There’s something for most everyone, and always a different world into which we can, at minimum, escape for EWRT 211/DE Anza College Leonard 67
a while. Rooting for a different kind of home team Superhero stories can tug at us the same way that local sports teams do—they give us a way to root for the home team unabashedly and without reserve. There aren’t that many non-sport opportunities in which large swatches of society can be on the same side. Political parties and events often leave us divided, but superhero stories allow us to come together nationally and even internationally and all be on the same team—the superhero’s team. We seem to love to have heroes, and superheroes are not likely to let us down the way real teams or real heroes do. We elevate sports figures or politicians as heroes, but in doing so, we make them both more than human and less than human. We don’t allow them to be actual humans. We raise them up and want them to be better than we are, to be flawless. It seems to me that we don’t want to recognize that real heroes in our world are people, with strengths and weakness, great courage, and often significant foibles or even vices. When we get a glimpse of their human side—their marital problems, substance use, financial troubles—we push them off their pedestals. They are heroes no longer. In this way we seem to propel our heroes onto a ridiculous roller coaster: We raise them up and imbue them with (or project onto them) attributes that are far in excess of their heroic actions. And when we find out they’re only human—when we discover their “underside,” their negative qualities—we demonize them. We push them from the heights of the rollercoaster to its depths. They—and we— scream and cry as they make their descent. We’re disappointed in them, yet in most cases they never claimed to be more than they actually were. When we find out that they’ve got an unheroic underside we are surprised, though we shouldn’t be. We may feel betrayed, but we shouldn’t. Someone can be a hero in one context and be an awful person, or just an average person, in another context. These complex and nuanced aspects of our real heroes can leave us feeling unfulfilled, akin to eating a large bucket of popcorn: our bellies are full but we still crave something to eat. Superhero stories can make us feel satisfied, like we’ve had a meal. We can applaud superheroes without reserve because even if they have an underside, we seem to allow them to have character flaws in a way that we don’t necessary allow our real heroes. In fact, whereas flaws in our real life heroes serve to tarnish them, flaws in superheroes add character and depth. Green Lantern helps out those on other planets but doesn’t help fix social ills on our own planet. Yet we don’t hold it against him. Similarly, Superman saves kittens from trees but allows people to starve. Iron Man and Green Arrow are both full of themselves and horrendous womanizers, often cheating on their girlfriends (or wife in Green Arrow’s case). Wolverine is impulsive and prone to anger, but we forgive him. Iron Man goes through a period of alcoholism. We allow superheroes their humanity in a way that we don’t allow real heroes. As Carroll wrote, “the contemporary hero [exists] in an instant-media-driven society in which we seek to raise people to impossible heights and then inevitably wait for the fall.” Superheroes don’t fall—at least not permanently. This is part of the unspoken promise of superhero stories. From more psychologically complex stories, existential crisis Until the dawn of the 1980s, superheroes weren’t generally part of the adult mainstream. Kids had a slew of Saturday morning superhero cartoon and comic books. Occasional family-centered live-action superhero stories graced the small screen: Superman in the 1950s, Batman and Robin in the 1960s, and Wonder Woman in the 1970s. Then superheroes came to film: Christopher Reeve’s Superman films in the 1970s and 1980s and the Batman films in the 1980s and 1990s. (Note that Superman I wasn’t the first superhero film. Among earlier releases was Batman: The Movie—a film extension of the Batman EWRT 211/DE Anza College Leonard 68
television series— released in 1966. The Superman film, though, was the first superhero feature film specifically aimed for a general audience. No prior superhero familiarity needed. Other superhero films released in the 1980s and 1990s didn’t make the same splash, such as “Supergirl” [1984] and “The Phantom” [1996]). While Christopher Reeve’s “Superman” and Tim Burton’s “Batman” were captivating mainstream audiences, superhero comics with darker themes— for adults—were published, such as Alan Moore’s The Watchmen (1986–1987) and The Killing Joke (1988), and Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns (1986). As writers have aimed their stories at adults, the plots have become more complex, and superheroes have become more three-dimensional and prone to existential crises, often provoked by the increased sadism and violence in their villains. They come to struggle with the issues with which we struggle. In this sense, they’ve become more like us. Granted, Marvel superheroes have always been more “human” and relatable, with everyday problems such as financial troubles (Spider-Man), family squabbles (Fantastic Four, Thor), relationship issues (Spider-Man, Iron Man, Daredevil, to name a few), work issues (The Avengers), assimilation issues (Thor), and even alcoholism (Iron Man). DC may have come late to having their superheroes struggle with real issues, but their superheroes do: drug abuse (Speedy, Green Arrow’s sidekick), prostitution and HIV infection (Mia Deardon, before she became Green Arrow’s subsequent Speedy), philandering (Green Arrow), the desire for official recognition (Wonder Woman), loss and guilt (Batman), and dealing with losing the respect of others (Superman). Nonetheless, the psychological nuance to the characters seems to have increased over the decades. As our problems have become their problems, we are fascinated to see how the issues play out in the funhouse mirror of superheroes’ worlds. In Superman stories, for instance, we get to see the consequences of electing a megalomaniac for president (Lex Luthor). In Batman stories we see how he handles grief and guilt after the murder of the second Robin, Jason Todd. (In the story “A Death in the Family” [Batman #426–429, 1988–1989], the Joker beats Jason Todd mercilessly, ties him up and sets a bomb to go off. Todd dies soon after the bomb explodes. A version of this story is recounted in the DVD movie Under the Red Hood [2010].) In X-Men stories we see how racism and discrimination harm both the group doing the discriminating as well as those on the receiving end. Spider-Man shows us the personal cost of spending all your time helping others. Superhero stories also present us with moral dilemmas. Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, and other superheroes have villains who create the horrible but classic dilemma of forcing the hero to choose whom to save: a loved one or a group of innocents about to be killed by the villain. Although most of us, fortunately, won’t have to face this dilemma ourselves, in watching our superheroes struggle with this no-win conundrum, many of us ask ourselves “what would I do if faced with this horrible choice?” Moreover, since the 1980s, the villains in superhero stories have become increasingly twisted and sadistic—think of recent versions of the Joker—at least in the stories targeted at adults, putting our superheroes in even more intense and challenging situations. In turn, Batman stories targeted to adults repeatedly challenge the reader or viewer to entertain the question of why Batman doesn’t just kill the Joker, given all the innocent lives that will likely be saved in the future were the Joker to exist no longer. Such stories can induce us to wrestle with issues about justice, the death penalty, and the question of rehabilitation for certain types of criminals, among other issues. Here’s another effect of the more psychologically complex stories: When we identify with the character, we may experience more emotions while watching or reading the story. Research on stories EWRT 211/DE Anza College Leonard 69
that are written with the use of first-person narration suggests that this literary device leads people to experience more emotion in response to the story. In fact, superhero comic book stories have included first-person narration for decades in the form of thought bubbles and, more recently, with the shift in the narrator from an anonymous third-person to the first-person of the superhero. It makes it easier to put ourselves in their shoes. A superhero for everyone Superheroes are not monolithic. Like us, each superhero has his or her own unique constellation of personality traits, abilities and vulnerabilities, desires and demons. In turn, a superhero’s character is nudged in one direction or another by each writer. Some superheroes are not even conventional heroes; they are “antiheroes” who fight crime for selfish, not altruistic, reasons that involve revenge. The Punisher, a vigilante, is an example; his wife and children, who witnessed a Mafia hit, were then killed. He vowed revenge on the mob and all criminals. In general, superheroes are alike in some key ways: they each have at least one enhanced ability, they each are committed to doing “good” in some way that involves physical battles, and they each wear a costume or uniform. (A notable exception: The DC superhero Batgirl [Barbara Gordon] was paralyzed by the Joker in The Killing Joke, and for decades had been wheelchair-bound and so did not engage in physical battles nor wear a uniform. She worked behind the scenes. When DC relaunched their universe in 2011, Barbara Gordon became fully mobile as Batgirl, despite protests from fans about the change.) A personality for everyone Just as we are drawn to some people because of their personality, we are drawn to some superheroes but not others. We identify or aspire to be like some and not others. When I am at a comic convention, I walk through the exhibit halls, interviewing attendees. Among other questions, I ask them who their favorite superheroes are and why. Some people say that Batman is their favorite, but their reasons vary. Some identify with his traumatic history from childhood, others take comfort from the way he has made meaning of his adversity (“if he can pull through and help others, it inspires me to do the same”). Some Wonder Woman fans aspire to be like her—confident with herself and her body. Still others identify with Spider-Man, who juggles multiple real life problems, fights crime, and tries to do the right thing in all spheres of his life. The coolest power Superheroes don’t all have the same powers (except perhaps for persistence in the face of adversity). We can be drawn to or fascinated by a given superhero because we are captivated by his or her power or ability. We may wonder what it would be like to fly, or how we might use a spider-sense. Or we may be awed by the human superheroes, who use their human talents to maximal advantage. Whatever our favorite power or ability, the idea of it gets us thinking about how it could be used. Superhero stories offer us models. Resonating with superhero themes: Dual identity and being different Most of us can resonate with at least two aspects of the dual identity of many superheroes: that we are different people in different contexts (how we are with a romantic partner may be very different from how we are when relating to a boss) and that in our daily lives we feel that people don’t accurately see EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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our real selves and all of our potential. In the film “Batman Begins” (2005), Bruce Wayne tries to convey to Rachel Dawes that he is more than the playboy he appears to be: “all of this [referring to the women and his opulent lifestyle] . . . it’s not me . . . inside. I am . . . I am more.” Just as people look at Bruce Wayne and see a rich playboy (though he is anything but a playboy), we too may feel that people see only a superficial persona. But we know that there is more to us than meets the eye. Another theme in superhero stories with which many can identify is that of being different. In such contexts, different means “not good,” even for superpowered Superman, who struggles to find a comfortable way to live as an alien among humans. To be different and not feel alone. The theme of being different is perhaps most prominent in X-Men stories, in which we learn that many mutants were made fun of, harassed, or nearly killed because of their abilities. Like Superman, Marvel’s mutants learned at a young age to hide their abilities. It is only at Professor Xavier’s School for Gifted Children that the mutants are able to feel truly comfortable with themselves because they are with people who are also different. This relief at finding other “different” people is portrayed in the film X-Men: First Class, when the young mutants sit around showing each other their powers and are applauded rather than ridiculed. In our world, people can feel the same relief at finding a group of like-minded but “different” folks in college (perhaps through activity groups that share the same interest, such as an anime club) or in online chat rooms or forums. Interests or problems that we’d been hiding from others can at last be shared with folks in a similar boat. What a relief! Inspiration Superheroes inspire us. They are engaged in a never-ending fight against crime and villainy. They fight the good fight even when they’re tired, burned out, or have crises in their personal lives. When it’s hard to know what the “right decision” is, they generally don’t get flummoxed. They are decisive. In these ways, they are like real soldiers. Their exploits and dedication are inspiring. Moreover, they have a clarity of purpose, and a moral compass that is usually enviable, even if we don’t agree with the specifics. From time to time they have existential crises and question whether all their efforts and sacrifices are worth it. This happens to Superman in the graphic novel “Kingdom Come” (1996), Peter Parker in various comics and in the film Spider-Man 2 (2004), and Batman in the film The Dark Knight (2008) and in the Batman graphic novel by Kevin Smith “The Widening Gyre” (2009–2010). When the superheroes come out the other side of their crises, they come back to their superhero work with renewed dedication. A wish for a rescuer Superhero stories call us back to our youth, to a time when right and wrong seemed simpler and easier to discern. Many children’s stories are filled with heroes who save the day. Such stories reflect a common wish or fantasy that when bad things happen or are about to happen, someone comes to help. Superhero stories tap into this wish. Superheroes protect the defenseless, round up criminals and evildoers, and put themselves on the line for others. As children, we both wanted someone to do that for us and wanted to be the superhero. Superhero stories may have been around for decades, but the characters and stories picked up steam in the adult mainstream in the new millennium. Why the sudden explosion of superheroes everywhere, and our fascination with them? A confluence of events may have played a large part. First, the events of September 11, 2001 (and the anthrax scare days afterward). This event—the first such major tragedy on American soil essentially unfolding live on the Internet and television—led Americans as well as EWRT 211/DE Anza College Leonard 71
people in other countries to feel more vulnerable. Common reactions, aside from horror, anger, and sadness, were “this could happen anywhere,” “this could happen to me,” and “is there no way to stop this?” In a sense, we all became terror’s victims. Collectively, we began to yearn for larger-than-life heroes—to be inspired by them and to be rescued by them. Coincidentally, within a year of 9/11, the first Spider-Man film was released; it did fantastically at the box office. Similarly, the television shows “24″ and “Smallville” (about Superman during high school years) launched to commercial success. (Although “24’s” Jack Bauer isn’t technically a superhero, the show portrays him acting heroically, and he seems to have some “super” abilities, including his ability to tolerate and inflict pain.) Superhero stories thus provide us with a fantasied rescuer at a time when we, as a society, really want one. Power of the media to persuade Here’s one final reason why I think we’re fascinated by superheroes: They are everywhere. On screens big and small, on billboards and buses, on lunchboxes and T-shirts. Hollywood studios invest heavily in superhero films (after all, it costs a lot of money to make the CGI scenes live up to our imagination). They advertise so heavily that it’s hard to avoid being exposed to superhero films. This blanket of advertising and merchandising provides a mere exposure effect, in which by becoming familiar with something, we come to change our attitude toward it, generally in the positive direction. People see ads for the superhero films, and if they weren’t already inclined toward superheroes, they become at least somewhat curious to see what “all the fuss” is about, unless they are resolutely not interested in superheroes. If the film’s story and character development are good, it seals the deal, accounting for the phenomenal popularity of the Batman films (the Christopher Nolan films as well as the Tim Burton ones), the Iron Man films, the Avenger film, and the Spider-Man films. * Superheroes can be fascinating for a multitude of reasons: they provide escape, their familiar storylines are comforting, they provide us with a person or team to cheer on, they allow us to see issues, existential crises, and our own problems in displacement. Moreover, the variety of superheroes—of powers, of personality, of personal dilemmas—lets our fascination fall on the superheroes who are the best “match” for us. Superheroes—in contrast to heroes or other protagonists—are simultaneously like us and not like us. Their superpowers can make us fantasize what it would be like to be them, while at the same time wishing there were someone who was like them in real life. Reprinted from “Our Superheroes, Ourselves,” edited by Robin Rosenberg, with permission from Oxford University Press USA. Copyright © Robin Rosenberg, 2013
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Captain America in a Turban I wore that costume to challenge the way New Yorkers think about superheroes -- and bearded Sikhs like me BY VISHAVJIT SINGH
A photo of the author (Credit: Fiona Aboud) I settled on a rock in Central Park, the New York skyline behind me. A glassy new skyscraper neared completion in its stretch toward the skies. I was striking a few poses in my superhero costume when a young boy perched higher on a rock chimed in. “Captain America does not have a turban and beard,” he said. He had a child’s curious tone. No malevolence. “Why not?” I asked him. “I was born here. We could have a new Captain America who is Sikh or black or Hispanic.” He thought about this. Finally, he conceded that yes, maybe a black or Hispanic Captain America would be OK. But his brain couldn’t make sense of it: Captain America in a turban? Captain America in a beard? He’d never conceived of such a thing before. That’s exactly what brought me to this park on a beautiful summer day. To make fresh neural connections in our collective consciousness. To leave a new image on the hard drive of that boy’s mind.
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The idea originated with Fiona Aboud, a photographer based in New York City. For seven years she has traveled the country capturing stills for “Sikhs: An American Portrait” project. I’m an editorial cartoonist, who has been documenting the thrills and travails of real-life Sikhs in the aftermath of 9/11 through illustrations made on my computer touch pad. One of those cartoons, created for my first trip to Comic-Con, featured a turbaned and bearded Captain America. It made a three-dimensional spark in Fiona’s imagination. I was going to be Captain America for a day on the streets of the Big Apple.
Thanks to inclement weather, we ended up shooting on Puerto Rican Day. It was bright and sunny as we stepped out of Fiona’s house. I was acutely aware of my tight costume. I caught the stares of passersby in the corners of my eye. There were a few gentle smiles. I have been skinny all my life, and I felt a stirring of anxiety to be so exposed. Family and friends have pointed out my thin-ness for years, and the self-consciousness has sunk deep into my psyche. Before I could even confront the political statement of my costume, I had to confront my own inhibitions and body image. But I took a deep breath, and kept walking. The next challenge was the reaction of my fellow Americans. I’ve grown accustomed to a Pavlovian response to my presence. Stares. Verbal assaults. So far, that’s as far as it’s gone, though for some turbaned and bearded Americans, a fearful reaction has had tragic physical consequences. So the outcome of this experiment was unknown, which felt both exhilarating and mildly terrifying. We took a cab to Fifth Avenue, near Central Park, and stepped out of the safety of the car to find people coming from all directions. My breath caught in my throat, wondering what they would think of me. But I reminded myself to not focus on that. To stay in the moment. Take it all in. As I walked down the street, it was like dominoes. People slowed down to get my attention. Fans clustered around me. Parents egged their children next to me for a shot. I urged the kids to strike a superhero pose. In front of the Metropolitan Museum, four well-built African-American men surrounded me with big smiles, hands stretched out, fingers twirled with attitude and me sandwiched EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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between them, striking a pose with my shield and a fist. The Puerto Rican Day parade was going on, and we stepped into a thicket of revelers. People did double takes like a slow-motion movie. “Hey! Check out Captain America!” people yelled from the railings. Strangers hustled over each other to snap a picture and pose. Young and old of all hues, from all walks of life. I had to be repeatedly reminded to keep moving and not hold up pedestrian traffic.
People shook my hands, and a few literally congratulated me. The celebrity-of-the-moment experience was a little overwhelming. But I was jarred out of that trance by a few negative outliers. One man tried to grab my turban. Another yelled, “Captain Arab.” And yet another: “Terrorista!” As we posed for a picture with one kid, he stuck his middle finger right in my face. “So you are flipping off Captain America?” I admonished him. He got red-faced, apologized and struck a smile instead. We carried on undeterred, and the overall crowd reaction was positive and friendly. An NYPD officer tracked me down to take a shot together on his smartphone. He said it would be his claim to fame. As we veered off the parade route, Fiona came up with the idea to approach the FDNY staff and ask if we could enter their truck for some shots. These real-life superheroes were gracious enough to grant her wish, and the kid inside me was ecstatic. I sat on the driver’s seat sticking my head out in joy. We entered Central Park, and I found a shaded spot under a tree. In a lotus posture I meditated on the wonderful day unfolding before our eyes. Families strolling by, some lying in the shade, others baking in the sun for a tan. “This is really cool,” said a young woman walking by. A baby strolling in the grass came up right next to me, intently focused on the colorful scene. A little dog barely a foot off the ground sniffed up close and barked a few words in its language. This, I thought, is the coolest urban jungle in the world. It was the most unlikeliest of days for me. Hundreds of strangers came up to me. And we were able to EWRT 211/DE Anza College Leonard 75
lay to rest any anxieties or inhibitions in those moments — about other people, about the unknown, about ourselves, about violating other people’s personal spaces or not understanding their beliefs. We could simply meet. Say hi. Snap a memory of that moment. And I could leave brand-new images on the hard drive of their mind — as well as their hand-held devices, Apple clouds, virtual worlds. For me, I had gigabytes of new memories tucked into the crevices of my gray matter. Enough memory snapshots to take me on repeat journeys for a lifetime. “It takes a lot of courage to do this,” a few people said during the day. I have never seen myself as courageous. But circumstances in life create moments where courage finds its way to us. There are many more photos from that day. Click here to purchase prints from the photo shoot. Vishavjit Singh is the first turbaned and bearded editorial cartoonist in U.S. By day he is a software analyst and by nights/weekends he creates turbanful Sikh cartoons that can be consumed at Sikhtoons.com.
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Ben Affleck is the Batman America needs Sure, his casting undermines the superhero's authoritarian mythology, but maybe that's not such a bad thing BY CASEY JAYWORK When, in August, Warner Bros. announced that Ben Affleck will play Batman in the upcoming sequel to Man of Steel, a chorus of groans resonated across the Twitterverse. Affleck already tried his hand at superhero flicks in 2003′s atrocious Daredevil, and seems to lack the depth required by the Cape and Cowl. He does. Yet Affleck’s casting as the Dark Knight is actually a blessing in disguise, because his very implausibility as Batman will mitigate the character’s fascist subtext, which recent films have embraced. Batman has always been a bit fascist, as are all superheroes to some extent–their raison d’etre, after all, is fighting evil, not ameliorating dysfunction. As Noah Brand writes in “The Dark Knight Rises Is a Pro-Fascist Movie“: “These stories, which I have grown up on and still love, are predicated on creating a situation of such exaggerated threat that fascist solutions, i.e. strongmen acting outside due process to restore order by violent force, become not only plausible but desirable. To put it another way, citizens of Metropolis might be uncomfortable with having a nearly-omnipotent alien living in their city, answerable to no authority but himself, but when a week can’t go by without a giant robot trying to level the city, you’ll accept the alien as preferable to the robots.” However, as Brand goes on to note, artists in the superhero genre can choose to embrace or oppose this underlying tendency toward glorified social violence. The original Batman TV series, for instance, uses camp to turn the character’s “crime fighting” into one long, self-referential joke, while directors Tim Burton (Batman, Batman Returns) and Joel Schumacher (Batman Forever, Batman and Robin) apply surrealism and extravagance to create an ironic distance between the viewer and the film. This distance prevents viewers from mistaking the extraordinary situations and strongman-solutions they’re watching as accurate depictions of the real world. An Affleck Batman, under the direction of perpetual adolescent Zack Snyder, could similarly diffuse Batman’s authoritarian worldview via unbelievability. Christopher Nolan’s trilogy, in contrast to other Batman films, is in no sense ironic or self-effacing. In Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, and The Dark Knight Rises, Nolan gives us a“realistic” superhero movie, set in a “relatable” world. Formally beautiful on a level to which none of their predecessors aspire, the Nolan films present viewers with a Gotham City that, but for the minor stylizations of capes and kung fu, looks and feels like real-life New York City. This aesthetic realism (Nolan calls it a “tactile quality”) relies heavily on the acting chops of Christian Bale, who takes his work so seriously that he lost a third of his body weight for 2004′s The Machinist and then nearly doubled it in six months for Batman Begins. The combination of Nolan’s plausible world with Bale’s excellent performance draws the viewer in, so that in her gut, she believes she’s watching a more-or-less accurate portrayal of the world she inhabits. Having seduced viewers into a deep suspension of disbelief, Nolan’s trilogy goes on to present them with a narrative which implicitly endorses a pro-fascist framing of contemporary human life. In this world, crime is not a symptom of social ills, but the natural consequence of weak law EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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enforcement. Cleansing a complacent society of such corruption is a major theme throughout the films. Two examples will illustrate this point. In The Dark Knight Batman performs an extraordinary rendition on a Chinese citizen before trying to beat information out of a handcuffed Joker while the Gotham Police Department watches. In The Dark Knight Rises, Batman joins an army of police in a Braveheart-esque battle against a brutal caricature of Occupy Wall Street. Throughout Nolan’s films, external others endlessly threaten the good citizens of Gotham, and the only real solution is always shown to be a few strong men. Of course, Nolan’s formula only works if the audience can take it seriously. This is why Affleck is such a serendipitous choice for Batman. In conjunction with director Zack Snyder’s penchant for style over substance, Affleck’s Batman is likely to be shallow and wooden enough to remind audiences that they’re watching escapist fiction, not stylized reality. Reminding audiences that the convoluted threats to which Batman responds are vehicles for fantasy and not faithful depictions of reality is important in 21st century America, where the War on Terror has been used to to justify kidnapping, torture, domestic spying, secret courts, and indiscriminate slaughter. When we believe in Batman’s moral universe, where strong men are the only thing standing between civilization and a vast hoard of evil oOthers, we’re accepting a framing of the world in which drone strikes and “enhanced interrogation” are just and necessary. When we applaud Batman torturing criminals, we’re implicitly endorsing torture at Guantanamo Bay and elsewhere. When we disbelieve in Batman’s moral universe, on the other hand, we are more able to adopt a critical stance toward government, society, and force. This is the redeeming quality of an Affleck Batman: his very implausibility will help to undermine Batman’s authoritarian mythology. Here in the real world, there’s too much at stake for us to be seduced by fascist tropes clothed in cinematic “realism.” We need a Batman we cannot believe in — and Affleck will deliver precisely that.
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Holding On Through the Pain Author’s name withheld Every 18 minutes another teen dies from suicide. How do I know this? I was a lucky survivor. The song "Hold On" by Good Charlotte was released almost a year prior to my overdose attempt. “Hold On” is my theme song since the lyrics inspired me to realize that needed to value my life rather than risk ending it through self-mutilation. When I was lying in that hospital bed, "Hold On" came on the radio in the nurse’s station. It made me realize that I am not the only one who has problems. Suicide is not the answer. Everyone has problems. No one is alone in this world. No matter how lonely you are, there is someone there for you. Now I have come to see that life changes dramatically as you grow. When you are alone, days seem so long and there are many sleepless nights, but society won’t realize what you are going through unless you let them. You can get fed up with life and not want to go any further. If you stop looking, you’ll never know what’s out there waiting for you. I was lonely, in pain and just simply tired of all of the drama. Every step I took, I wished it could be the end. People were so cold and heartless. People didn’t even realize that I was there. Sometimes I thought I was dead already. I had to bleed just to know I was alive. Now I am scarred for life with the memories of my bad experiences with razors and pills, which never should have happened. I now feel that I should have been stronger and held on to the good things. I just couldn’t bear the pain. Nobody understood what I was going through. When I got around people who committed the same act that I had, I knew then that I wasn’t alone. Since that night lying in that hospital bed three months ago, I have not self-mutilated or attempted any type of self-induced pain because of that one song telling people like me to hold on. The lyrics so small have a meaning greater than any. The one line that mainly made me think was when it said that everyone bleeds the same way I do. For me that meant that I am not alone. And when it asked what am I looking for, I realized that my problem was that I had no goals, only negative thoughts. So the next time I feel sad or lonely, I will pop Good Charlotte into my stereo and get reminded that suicide is not the answer, and I am not alone.
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For a Mother’s Love Name withheld upon request If I had to choose a theme song that fits me, it would be "Dear Mama," written by Tupac Shakur, a.k.a. 2Pac. This song relates to my life and the suffering that my sister and I went through with my mother. “Dear Mama” is my theme song because it talks about how Tupac and his sister went through a rough life without a dad. Many things have happened in my life to cause me to relate to this. When I was just 12 years old I liked to hang out with the gangsters from 18th Street. I would get into a lot of trouble just hanging out with them. I got myself in jail just because I listened to the homies. The homies gave me a 22-mm handgun and I took it to school. I got caught and the cops arrested me. I got sentenced to one year in juvenile penitentiary. While I was in jail, my mother came by to visit me and I always hugged her through a barrier of my own making—the "bars of my jail cell." Tupac’s lyrics affected my life because he rapped about things that were true to me. Tupac doesn’t lie or make up his lyrics like 85 percent of the rappers out there today. Tupac raps, "I reminisced on tha stress I caused, it wuz hell/ hugg’en on my mama from a jail cell/ and who’ed think in elementary, heeey I’d see tha penitentiary." I remember the day that my mom caught me running from the police. She made me go in the house, and as soon as I went in she came to my room. She laid on such a whooping on my backside, you’d have thought I would have learned my lesson. But I guess I’m not the only one because Tupac goes on to rap, "One day running from tha police, that’s right momma catch me—put a whoop’en to my backside." I still remember the day that my mother and I got into a big argument. I was calling her names that I’m ashamed to say now, "Bi***," and the one that really hurts a mother, "Sl**." I walked angrily out of the house. That’s when I realized that it wasn’t easy for my mom to turn me into a man. Tupac’s song says, "I finally understood for a woman it ain’t easy—trying to raise a man/ ya always wuz committed, a poor single mother on welfare, tell me how you did it." My mom and my sister always had a bad life and it wasn’t because my mom didn’t care. It was because my mom was struggling to raise two children on her own. Now I know that her life wasn’t easy and sometimes life just isn’t easy for anyone; but excuses were easy. It was hard to learn when I kept getting locked up for doing what I wasn’t supposed to be EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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doing. As Tupac said to his mother and I will say the same to mine, "There’s no way I can pay you back, but my plan is to show you that I understand, you are appreciated."
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I Got The "Eye of the Tiger" Name withheld upon request. “It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight, rising up to the challenge of our rival." "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor is my theme song. I think this song represents some of the struggles that I have had to go through in the last couple of months. It reminds me that I need to keep going if I want to succeed and make something of myself in the future. In the last couple of months I have had to pay all the bills—excluding the rent. This is hard when you are still going to school and have to take an hour-long bus ride to and from work. It is also hard because my mom has not gone to work for almost two months and we are getting evicted. This song tells me that I need to keep my head up and keep striving for excellence. If I do that, I will accomplish my goals. There are two lines in the song that I feel have the most in common with my situation. The first is, "You must fight just to keep them alive." This line I believe is symbolic of my current plight. Since I am paying all the bills and my mom isn’t going to work, I am struggling to keep going and not get burned out on both work and school. If I were to get burned out on school, I would most likely drop out and just work all the time to keep myself from becoming homeless. If I got burned out with work, I would finish school and then just become very lazy and play video games all day at my dad’s house. If both happened, then I would be screwed. I would have to go live with some relatives in Las Vegas. The line, "Hanging tough, stayin’ hungry" is just another way of saying that I have the hunger/craving to be great at what I do. If I wasn’t hungry for life and what this world has to offer, then I would just roll over and die. The words "hangin’ tough" remind me that I have the determination to go on, even in these trying times. "Just a man and his will to survive" is a line that characterizes me in full. I believe that I have the will to survive whatever life has to throw at me. I believe that I have proven to myself time and time again in the last couple of months that I have what it takes to survive. Though I have done my share of complaining about what has happened, I have never refused to do what is asked of me unless I am unable to do it. Working a part-time job four days a week, barely being able to pay bills, and not having any money for myself is really hard on a teenager. The whole reason most teenagers get jobs is so they can have money to do things with their friends. I don’t think most teenagers would EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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be able to cope with what I have to deal with. The line, "They stack the odds, still we take to the street," is a reminder to myself that I will go on and continue to live. I will not give up and go gentle into the night. I have "the eye of the tiger."
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Superheroes suck! From Spidey to Batman to Iron Man, comic-book movies are Hollywood's most bankrupt genre. And I say that as a fan BY MATT ZOLLER SEITZ As Whiplash, the hateful Slavic super-genius who challenges armor-plated industrialist Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) in “Iron Man 2,” Mickey Rourke has a Boris Badenov accent, greasy hair, a pencil mustache and a predatory stare that would give Mike Tyson pause. The man doesn’t look at people, he looks through them. It’s the stare of a stone thug — a gangsta badass who came up from nothing and would be content to make do with nothing for the rest of his life, as long as he had the freedom to roam and the ability to create. Whiplash is surrounded by technology, by money, by the most spectacular comic book vistas that Hollywood can buy, and he can barely muster the energy to sneer. Whiplash has the right idea. The comic book film has become a gravy train to nowhere. The genre cranks up directors’ box office averages and keeps offbeat actors fully employed for years at a stretch by dutifully replicating (with precious few exceptions) the least interesting, least exciting elements of its source material; spicing up otherwise rote superhero vs. supervillain storylines with “complications” and “revisions” (scare quotes intentional) that the filmmakers, for reasons of fiduciary duty, cannot properly investigate; and delivering amusing characterizations, dense stories or stunning visuals while typically failing to combine those aspects into a satisfying whole. I don’t relish saying any of this. I grew up on superheroes and superhero films. And as a critic who made a point of clinging to my sense of wonder long past childhood, I’ve tried (too hard at times) to find signs of life in formula. I will always treasure that iconic shot of the Joker hanging his head out of a car window in “The Dark Knight” like a family dog on a road trip, and the poster-ready wide shot of Superman in “Superman Returns” hoisting the Daily Planet’s globe on his shoulders, and that slowmotion image of Peter Parker in “Spider-Man 2″ — an ex-superhero playing hooky from his obligations — stumbling down a Manhattan street to “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head.” But for God’s sake, enough is enough. The aforementioned moments are just that: moments. Dazzling fragments of films that tend to be visually adept and dramatically inert or vice versa. Even at the peak of their creative powers, bigbudget comic book films are usually more alike than different. And over time, they seem to blur into one endless, roiling mass of cackling villains, stalwart knights, tough/sexy dames, and pyrotechnic showdowns that invariably feature armored vehicles (or armor-encased men) bashing into each other. When such movies accumulate praise, it’s encrusted with implied asterisks: “The best superhero film ever made,” say, or “The best Batman film since Tim Burton’s original.” If the Hollywood studio assembly line is high school in a John Hughes movie, superhero films are the jocks — benighted beneficiaries of grade inflation and reflexive fan boosterism. (Critics who don’t like a particular superhero film — any superhero film — are apt to be simultaneously blasted in online comments threads as aesthetic turistas ill-equipped to judge the work’s true depth and snooty killjoys who expect too much and need to lighten the hell up. Neat trick.) EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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Meanwhile, the assembly line keeps rolling along, siphoning $100 million to $200 million per film from Hollywood’s economy to fund all that CGI, spurring the creation of ancillary merchandise that’s ultimately the real reason for any superhero film’s existence, and generating advance publicity that’s instantly transformed into free advertising by buffs, who parse each new superhero casting announcement as if there were, in fact, a character to play. (Is Chris Hemsworth the right choice to play Thor? Let’s check the requirements: 1. Be blond. 2. Swing a hammer.) By virtue of its basis in familiar, oft-beloved source material, the superhero film has the audience in the palm of its gloved hand from frame one. But it too often squanders that advantage by coddling the viewer. The death of Rachel Dawes in “The Dark Knight” — a visually sloppy, exposition-choked saga that at least had the courage of its source material’s grim convictions — is a rare example of a superhero film daring to make its audience hurt. The norm is closer to the opportunism of Sam Raimi and company cherry-picking elements from the newsprint back story of Gwen Stacy — superimposing the circumstances of her shocking death in “The Amazing Spider-Man #121″ onto a routine cable car set piece involving Mary Jane in 2002′s “Spider-Man”; then shoehorning her into 2007′s “Spider-Man 3,” hinting at a different, perhaps equally upsetting demise, then letting her live. (That’s like ending a remake of “Old Yeller” with a freeze-frame of the title pooch frolicking in a meadow, surrounded by pups.) The superhero movie too often avoids opportunities to summon tangled feelings, lacerating trauma and complex characterizations — qualities that make genre films worth watching and remembering for reasons beyond their capacity to kill two hours and change. Which genres? Glad you asked. Conceding upfront that this is an apples-and-oranges comparison — then countering that any comparison seems like apples and oranges if you nitpick enough — let’s set the most notable modern superhero movies alongside titles from another durable genre: the zombie film. The zombie movie as we’ve come to know it (live humans vs. snacky fiends) has been around for slightly longer than the superhero picture (provided we date the modern superhero picture to 1978′s “Superman: The Movie,” and the modern zombie picture to George A. Romero’s 1968 shocker “Night of the Living Dead” – which I’m doing here because, hey, it’s my piece). The zombie film — and what I call the zombie-by-proxy film, a sister category that includes “28 Days Later,” “28 Weeks Later” and both versions of “The Crazies” — has a list of familiar core elements: the collapse of civilization; the forging of expedient alliances based on the need to survive; the debate over whether to kill a loved one who’s morphing into a ravenous Other, etc. But in spite of such ironclad narrative mandates, the zombie genre has produced the following short list of notable works, any of which I consider more engrossing, uncompromising and consistently imaginative — and more likely to reward repeat viewings — than pretty much any superhero film made since 1978. My list includes six examples of zombie-fied social satire, all directed by Romero — films that are inconsistent in quality but all strikingly different and worth seeing and having an opinion on: Danny Boyle’s beguiling “28 Days Later,” with its unexpectedly life-affirming conviction that no matter how grim things get, love and beauty can still be found; the domestic nightmare of “28 Weeks Later,” with its scalding primal image of a deranged patriarch blinding his wife; both versions of “The Crazies,” with their staunch anti-authoritarian plotlines; Zack Snyder’s “Dawn of the Dead” remake, with its arena-rock strut and knack for finding droll humor in unlikely alliances; Peter Jackson’s Freud-jokeriddled comedy of social repression “Dead Alive”; the anything-for-a-laugh nihilism of “Zombieland“; and the Mel Brooks-style silliness of “Return of the Living Dead” and “Shaun of the Dead.” EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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That’s a rainbow spectrum of modes and moods. Not bad for a genre that’s as ritualized as the western or the romantic comedy (genres I could have invoked if I wanted to make this an even less-fair fight). And in the 32 years since the release of ”Superman: The Movie,” what has the superhero genre given us? What’s the cream of the crop? “The Dark Knight” and “Batman Begins” head up the list; whatever one thinks of their approach toward dramaturgy (director Chris Nolan’s M.O. is to have his characters deliver freshman psychology and philosophy dissertations while whirling the camera for no good reason and cutting every few seconds), they were true to the dark (at times ugly) essence of their source material. And they were confident enough to disgorge raw data at a stock-ticker pace and expect viewers to keep up. But neither film contains a moment as moving as Brendan Gleeson’s fight to keep his sanity after being infected in “28 Days Later,” or a cinematic flourish as wickedly clever as the twinned tracking shots in “Shaun of the Dead” that compare life in a pre- and post-zombie world. Where’s the heart in Nolan’s movies? Where’s the poetry? Where’s the soul? The Joel Schumacher “Batman” movies are regrettable in almost every way (1997′s epically terribly “Batman and Robin” was a disco camp goof, minus the laughs: “Captain Fantastic and the Brown Nippled Batsuit”). But Tim Burton’s two predecessors weren’t that much better. Despite characteristically detailed panoramas, smart visual puns and memorably screwed-up bad guys, 1989′s “Batman” and its 1992 sequel “Batman Returns” feel less like pop art than pop art-flavored product. They’re disorganized, sometimes dull movies, lousy with dead-end subplots, inconsistent performances, and network TV-quality fight scenes. And as is the case with all “Batman” pictures — even the comparatively ballsier Nolan efforts — the title character is a yin-yang cardboard cutout, a recessive, numb, raspy-voiced bore. It doesn’t matter who plays Batman; the suit always swallows him up. Watch Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman in “American Psycho” or Dieter Dengler in “Rescue Dawn” and you’d think he was the second coming of Gary Oldman. In Nolan’s Batman films, he just seems smug and cranky. (As Commissioner Gordon, a grayer, subtler Oldman acts circles around Bale — which, given Bruce Wayne/Batman’s connect-the-dots psychology, is admittedly no great victory for anyone, including extras playing riot cops and waiters.) “Spider-Man 2“? Damn near perfect for what it was — but there’s that phrase again. Raimi’s second entry in the series maintained a soufflé-delicate adventure-comedy tone throughout, while still finding time for Catholic schoolboy flourishes (the exhausted Spidey borne Christ-like over the heads and shoulders of fellow citizens). But I wouldn’t prize it over a mid-level zombie film (or mid-level western, or a truly terrible musical — like, say, this). The other “Spider-Man” films were largely unmemorable. The original was more noisy than clever, the third overstuffed, unfocused and full of strangely misjudged moments. In about seven hours’ worth of web-slinging spectacle, three are worth watching — and that’s being generous. The third “X-Men” is a stinker, the second propulsive and stylish, the original awkward but also funny and sincere. And yet when I look back over the series, I can’t easily recall what events happened in which film (except for the second film’s “coming out” scene — a great example of how to turn subtext into text without killing a good movie). “Hancock” is filled with promising moments, delivers on none, and cravenly introduces an origin story built on interracial love and racist violence only to drop it without further comment. “Kick-Ass” serves up a punk-rock tough first act, then regresses into a meaner, filthier gloss on the usual mayhem. Snyder’s “Watchmen” seems a milestone in the genre until you revisit the source and grasp how Snyder, in his determination to keep the story flowing and earn back his budget, amps up the fights, cranks up the music and ends up endorsing some of the same superficial genre traits that the graphic novel’s writer, Alan Moore, pushed against. EWRT 211/DE Anza College Leonard 86
The first two “Superman” movies are fondly remembered, but for what, exactly? Mostly for Christopher Reeve’s ability to make indestructible decency charming. Despite a handful of resonant moments (the creation of the Fortress of Solitude; Superman and Lois Lane’s first flight), they’re big, glitzy, often tackily produced white elephants. And the third and fourth “Superman” films are mindbendingly awful. You may have noticed I didn’t mention Ang Lee’s 2003 “Hulk,” and that I managed to discuss the first four “Superman” films without mentioning the fifth, 2006′s “Superman Returns,” directed by Bryan Singer. That’s because I consider these films to be the most creatively daring large-scale experiments yet attempted in the genre. Granted, they were not remotely close to perfect. “Hulk” was an intriguing failure, combining Eisenhower-era pop-Freud melodrama and 1970s-style split-screen mosaics. “Superman Returns” is one of the most visually splendid and emotionally complex popcorn films made in the last decade — a fantasy blockbuster distinguished by its mature characters, depressive atmosphere, slow pace, brazenly mythic tableaus (likening Kal-El to Atlas, Jesus, Prometheus and Icarus) and last but not least, its moments of mundane psychological realism (Superman using his X-ray vision to spy on Lois; exjailbird Lex Luthor stabbing the hero with a Kryptonite shiv). Nearly everyone I know considers both movies pretentious and dull. I cite them here as evidence of nothing but my own odd tendency to have more fun at films that try something different and fail than at films that do the same old thing for the 10 zillionth time and succeed. (Marvel Comics’ ongoing attempt to enfold all Marvel properties into a single movie universe is underwhelming from every standpoint save that of marketing. Remember when Dunkin Donuts and Baskin-Robbins joined forces? Like that, but with tights.) And yet: Perhaps the mix of indifference and hostility that greeted “Hulk” and “Superman Returns” confirms the limits of this still-young genre — limitations imposed by studios and marketers, and endorsed by viewers who desire slight variations on a familiar recipe and cannot abide a film that has the stones to take their money, try something new, and choke. Audiences and studios alike are conditioned to view superhero films as more product than art. Art is allowed to fail; product isn’t. There’s a reason why positive reviews of superhero films often use the phrase “delivers the goods,” as if the movie were UPS or Fresh Direct. The tonal equivalent of “28 Weeks Later,” “Land of the Dead” or “Zombieland” would never get financed in the superhero genre, much less distributed or seen. Are there any other superhero films worth seeing — much less discussing? Well, “Iron Man” and “Iron Man 2,” I guess — if you think cool competence is synonymous with excellence, and you’re willing to prize director Jon Favreau’s ease with improvisational comedy over his apparent lack of interest in cinematic values, by which I mean imaginative editing, drastic and daring tonal shifts, and shots that do more than “cover” action and record the actors’ performances. Think of those eerily beautiful helicopter shots of the mall in the original “Dawn of the Dead,” or that shot of Jeremy Renner’s surrogate good dad in “28 Weeks Later” comforting the two parentless kids in close-up, then exiting the frame to reveal Robert Carlyle’s rage-crazed bad daddy in the background. Now name me one image in either “Iron Man” that’s as functional, startling and expressive as the two I just mentioned. Hint: You can’t. And what of Downey Jr.? Yes, of course, he is Tony Stark. And his metrosexual wiseass routine (and off-screen bad-boy reputation) spiced up the franchise and gave Favreau license to get loose and funky and foreground the banter. (Franchise!) But even a pinch of spice stands out when it’s added to vanilla EWRT 211/DE Anza College Leonard 87
pudding, and what does it say about the genre that Downey would receive near-unanimous acclaim for showing us a fraction of his range and power? Rourke’s lizard-skinned, beady-eyed, I-will-knock-you-down-and-take-your-woman realness in “Iron Man 2″ reveals the genre grade curve that emboldened fans to describe Downey’s PG-13 swagger as “edgy.” Robert Downey Jr. in “Two Girls and a Guy” — that’s edgy. The “Iron Man” films are not edgy. For all their repartee and self-awareness, they’re showcases for boxing robots. And the series’ great triumph is its ability to persuade audiences to sit still for 15 or 20 minutes at a time without wondering when the boxing robots will return. Rourke’s personal triumph in the second film is more mysterious. His ferociously committed performance — so weird and overwhelming that Favreau uses him sparingly, the way Ishirô Honda used Godzilla — reminds us that there’s a world beyond the edges of this movie’s Dave & Buster’smeets-Disneyworld panoramas, a world of silence, hunger and rage. It’s a world that has nothing to do with billionaire playboys and boxing robots and everything to do with deprivation, ambition and revenge. Whiplash won’t show you that world because you’re pampered and weak, and because he’s not done eating his goulash. But he will be happy to knock you down, take your woman and show her. The next superhero film should star Mickey Rourke. As himself.
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Robert VerBruggen Standing Your Ground and Vigilantism 1
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Florida has some of the strongest laws pertaining to armed self-‐defense in the United States. Not only did the state begin the trend of “shall issue” concealed-‐carry laws in the late 1980s, but it more recently enacted a “Stand Your Ground” statute, meaning that when a person faces a threat of death or great bodily harm in a public place, he has no duty to retreat from his attacker before using lethal force in self-‐defense. However, a commitment to armed self-‐defense requires a second commitment: to the principle that those who bear arms must act responsibly. It is still not clear whether Florida “neighborhood watch” vigilante George Zimmerman broke the law when he chased down and killed 17-‐year-‐old Trayvon Martin. And that’s a problem, because Zimmerman acted inappropriately in the moments leading up to the shooting, and Martin would still be alive if Zimmerman had behaved as he should have. Supporters of pro-‐self-‐defense policies should roundly condemn Zimmerman’s actions, and Florida should change its laws to prevent this incident from repeating itself. The 28-‐year-‐old Zimmerman is a classic cop wannabe: Loving the thought of himself as a police officer, and witnessing a spate of break-‐ins in his neighborhood, he decided to patrol the streets in his SUV — carrying a gun (as he was licensed to do) and calling the cops 46 times over the course of a decade to report “suspicious” activity. On the night of February 26, a black teenager happened to catch Zimmerman’s eagle eye. At the outset of his call to the police, Zimmerman reports that Martin “looks like he’s up to no good, or he’s on drugs, or something — it’s raining, and he’s just walking around, looking about.” Martin looks around at the houses, then starts staring back at Zimmerman, and finally walks toward Zimmerman with his “hands on his waistband” to “check me out.” A car door opens, and Zimmerman says, “These a******s always get away.” Zimmerman gives the operator directions to the scene — presumably while he starts to follow Martin, because Martin runs. As Zimmerman can be heard huffing and puffing, the operator asks if he’s giving chase, and Zimmerman replies in the affirmative. “Okay, we don’t need you to do that,” the operator says. Zimmerman says “Okay,” but keeps running anyhow. What happened when Zimmerman caught up with Martin isn’t entirely clear. Zimmerman told police that Martin jumped him from behind. Martin’s girlfriend, who was on the phone with him while he was running, says that Martin asked “Why are you following me?”; Zimmerman replied “What are you doing here?”; and then a scuffle ensued. We do know that there was some sort of wrestling match, and that Martin landed some blows — Zimmerman was found with a bloody nose, grass stains on his shirt, and a wound on the back of his head. Toward the end of the fight a man was heard yelling, “Help! Help!” Zimmerman fired a single shot, and the screaming stopped. Zimmerman’s full account of what happened is not yet public, the neighbors didn’t see very much, and while the yelling of “Help!” is captured on a 9-‐1-‐1 tape, there has not yet been an audio analysis proving whether it was from Zimmerman or Martin. The confrontation could have unfolded in any of a million different ways. But regardless of what happened during the fight, Zimmerman’s actions went well beyond defending himself and others from physical threats, and into the territory of vigilantism — and they should be illegal. Zimmerman sought out this confrontation, and as a result a young man is dead — a young man who was unarmed, who was not carrying drugs, and who very well may have done nothing more than defend himself against a stranger who followed him on the street. Trayvon Martin visited his father, walked to 7-‐Eleven to buy some Skittles during the
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halftime of the NBA All-‐Star game, and for that wound up dead at the hands of the “neighborhood watch.” But regardless of what happened during the fight, Zimmerman’s actions went well beyond defending himself and others from physical threats, and into the territory of vigilantism — and they should be illegal. Zimmerman sought out this confrontation, and as a result a young man is dead — a young man who was unarmed, who was not carrying drugs, and who very well may have done nothing more than defend himself against a stranger who followed him on the street. Trayvon Martin visited his father, walked to 7-‐Eleven to buy some Skittles during the halftime of the NBA All-‐Star game, and for that wound up dead at the hands of the “neighborhood watch.”
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Therefore, to arrest Zimmerman, the police would need evidence that he was doing something illegal when Martin attacked him, or that he didn’t reasonably believe he faced a serious threat. Since we don’t know whether Zimmerman threw the first punch when he caught up to Martin, and we don’t know what Martin was doing when Zimmerman fired, this isn’t possible.
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The solution is to make Zimmerman’s activity unlawful. It should be a crime to chase down a fellow citizen who runs away, except in certain situations (e.g. when a store owner pursues a shoplifter, as opposed to a man’s running after a teenager with no provocation whatsoever). One might imagine this was already a crime — such as assault — but Florida police officials have said it is not.
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Law enforcement often fails — that’s why people need the tools to defend themselves, and the laws to protect them when they do so. But the proactive aspects of policing, including confronting individuals who seem to be “up to no good,” should be left to the professionals. If Trayvon Martin had been approached by an officer who identified himself as such, rather than a strange man who jumped out of an SUV and chased him, he would almost certainly be alive today.
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Patrick Jonsson
In Texas, A Father Who Killed Daughter’s Attacker Is No Vigilante After considering a case that raised questions about vigilantism, a Texas grand jury declines to indict a young father who beat to death an older man he found sexually assaulting his 5-‐year-‐old. 1 2
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Bringing to a close a story that dominated Father’s Day weekend, a Texas grand jury on Tuesday said a young father acted within the law when he used his fists to beat a man to death for sexually assaulting his 5-‐year-‐old daughter in a rural area near Shiner, Texas, on June 9. While the outcome surprised few, the grand jury's decision appears to have been grounded as much on facts and the law as the more emotional question of whether the sexual assault itself justified revenge on the part of a father, legal experts say The grand jury, according to prosecutors, based its decision in part on a frantic 911 call by the father, which suggested that he did not intend to kill the man. The jurors also may have kept in mind a specific Texas law that allows use of deadly force when defending a victim against sexual assault. While the father had not been arrested, the grand jury hearing was part of a homicide investigation into the death of the ranch hand, Jesus Flores, who was in his 40s. (The father's name has not been released to protect the identity of the young girl.) Legal analysts had earlier raised questions about whether the father should have stopped beating Mr. Flores after removing the daughter from danger and whether he would have been less liable if he had used a weapon instead of his fists, because pummeling someone to death can take considerable effort and suggests that revenge may have been a motive. According to prosecutors, the father was alerted by a witness that the ranch hand was “forcibly carrying” the girl away. He then heard his daughter screaming, and, police say, found the ranch hand behind a barn assaulting the girl. After pulling Flores up, the father repeatedly punched him in the head and neck, where, the coroner said, the blunt force trauma was significant enough to cause death. Putting to rest questions about another possible motive for killing Flores, who was a Mexican national with a green card, prosecutors pointed to the separate witness to the incident and the fact that the daughter had injuries consistent with a sexual assault. Across the country the primary public reaction was that the incident, while unfortunate, was not murder but rather a justified defense of an underaged crime victim. The father's emotional 911 call also made clear that there was no sense of nonchalance or satisfaction about what he had done. On the tape, the grand jury heard the father becoming increasingly agitated about whether EMTs would reach the remote ranch in time. "Come on! This guy is going to die on me!" the dad is heard screaming on the 911 call. "I don't know what to do!"
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Adam Cohen Should Sex Abuse Justify a Vigilante Attack? 1
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It is a dark story with an even darker twist: William Lynch, 44, was arrested last month for going into a northern California nursing home, luring an elderly priest into the lobby and beating him bloody. Lynch insists that when he was 7 years old the priest, Jerold Lindner, 65, had sexually molested him. After Lynch was arrested, the blogosphere lit up with messages of support — and protests that he was being charged for a beating that many regarded as well-‐deserved payback. When Lynch was arraigned in a courtroom in San Jose, Calif., last week on suspicion of assault, his backers marched with signs attacking the Catholic Church's handling of sexual abuse in its ranks and proclaiming "Free Willy." Lynch has vowed to fight the assault charge against him and to make Lindner — who has denied abusing him or anyone else — the issue. "Somebody needs to be a face for this abuse, and I'm prepared to put myself on the line," he told the Associated Press. Yet the question is whether we as a society are prepared for crossing that line. In the 1980s in New York City, Bernhard Goetz — a subway rider who shot four young men he believed were menacing him — ignited a national debate over vigilantism. Lynch's trial has the potential to raise the same issue for a new generation: When, if ever, does someone have the right to take the law into his own hands? Lynch's claims are gut-‐wrenching. He says that he and his younger brother were raped and forced to have oral sex with each other while Lindner watched. The abuse occurred in 1975 on trips to a religious camp, Lynch says. Lindner has been previously accused of abuse by others, including family members, but never charged with anything. In 1998, Lynch and his brother settled an abuse lawsuit against the Jesuits of the California Province for $625,000. Lindner was removed from active ministry in Los Angeles, but the statute of limitations for criminal prosecution had passed. Lynch has said he has been traumatized for decades, has suffered from alcohol abuse and depression, and has tried to commit suicide. In 2002, he told the San Jose Mercury News, "I could kill him with my bare hands." If Lynch tries to beat the charges at trial by invoking the 35-‐year-‐old abuse, he may have an uphill battle. It is not clear that a judge would allow Lynch's lawyers to put on evidence of the abuse, and even if the jury found out about it — in court or from news reports — it would not be a legal excuse for the assault. Still, it is not out of the question that Lynch could prevail. Juries always have the right to engage in jury nullification — to deliver a verdict they believe is just, even if it is not strictly supported by the law or the evidence. Before the Civil War, some northern juries would not convict people who had harbored escaped slaves in violation of the Fugitive Slave Act. In the civil rights era, some all-‐white juries in the South would not convict whites who had committed crimes against blacks. Should Lynch's actions be similarly excused? Assuming his claims are true, it is hard not to feel deeply sympathetic for him. It seems only right that if he is convicted, his trauma should be taken into account in determining his punishment. But it is something else entirely to say that he should be able to physically attack Lindner with impunity. Vigilantism, after all, is a poor form of justice. It means individuals — and very biased ones, at that — have taken it upon themselves to pronounce people guilty and mete out the punishment. All too often, the punishments — like the physical one Lynch allegedly delivered — are not ones our criminal-‐ justice system imposes, even on the guilty. If more people acted as Lynch is accused of having acted, we would descend into mob rule. At the same time, vigilante justice — and popular support for it — can tell us something important
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about society. Vigilantism thrives where the official justice system is flawed or nonexistent. In the Wild West, the hastily rounded-‐up posse was often the only kind of law available, and it was seen as better than no law at all. The issue of vigilantism is particularly resonant right now because the Internet is making it so much easier. At any given moment, a lynch mob is forming somewhere online. Last week, a 60-‐year-‐old Massachusetts woman reportedly had to get police protection after a video allegedly showed her delivering a racist rant and physically attacking a black mailman went viral on the Internet. What all of these cases of vigilantism have in common is the popular impression that the system failed. Many people sympathized with Goetz because they believed that criminals were being allowed to run amok in the subway system. One factor fueling the outrage at the Massachusetts woman was the perception that the courts let grotesque conduct off with a slap on the wrist. And many of Lynch's supporters believe the legal system has not worked in the case of priest sexual abuse. They see the Catholic Church as having effectively shielded its abusive priests from the law — and as having made it possible for them to keep abusing. Some question whether a statute of limitations should be allowed to apply in cases of child sexual abuse. It is a cliché for a criminal defendant to say he is "putting the system on trial," but that is what defendants like Lynch do. Even as we condemn vigilante acts like his attack, we need to grapple with what they are telling us about the justice system, and how to right that particular wrong.
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Jaxon Van Derbeken Father of Slain Pimp: Vigilantism No Answer 1
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SAN FRANCISCO -‐-‐ Calvin Sneed may have pimped out a 17-‐year-‐old runaway, but the girl's parents -‐ who are accused of murdering the young Compton man in San Francisco -‐ had no right to play God with his life, Sneed's father said Thursday. "Calvin was a pimp, the girl was a runaway, the parents got mad," said 53-‐year-‐old Charles Sneed of Gardena (Los Angeles County). "They became God for a moment. They didn't wait for the judge, the trial, they did it right then and there in the street," he said. "Who are they to say they are God, to determine whether Calvin lived or died? How come they didn't let a judge do that? They took it into their own hands." The girl's parents -‐ Barry Gilton, 38, a San Francisco Municipal Railway driver on disability, and 37-‐year-‐ old Lupe Mercado -‐ face murder and other charges in what prosecutors said amounted to a vigilante execution on June 4. Prosecutors said the parents, who are each being held in lieu of $2 million bail, first tracked and shot at Sneed in the North Hollywood area of Los Angeles on May 27, but that he was not seriously injured. Then, eight days later, just after 2 a.m., they confronted Sneed, authorities said, with Gilton allegedly firing the fatal shots. Sneed's father said his son had just dropped off the girl near her home in the Bayview neighborhood. However, prosecutors said Sneed was in the city to try to get the girl back. At a news conference Thursday, San Francisco District Attorney George Gascón denounced vigilantism when asked about the case, which drew national attention after it was first reported by The Chronicle. "I understand the frustration that the parents must have felt," Gascón said. "Having said that, I think it's important to say that taking the law in your own hands is never an acceptable solution, and killing someone in a situation other than defense of serious bodily injury or death is not an acceptable solution." The couple's attorneys said they may have had a motive to pursue Sneed, but that doesn't prove they committed murder. Gilton, a former high school basketball star, was convicted in 1995 of drug dealing and possession. He has been a driver for Muni since 2008. The couple has three other children, all sons. Authorities said Calvin Sneed was a known member of the Nutty Block Crip street gang in Southern California, and had been the victim of another drive-‐by shooting last year. If Gilton and Mercado were desperate to stop him from forcing girls into prostitution, so was his father. The elder Sneed, a professional welder and handyman, denied his son was in a gang, but said he had been shot at many times. The father said he had been a criminal himself, doing prison time before finding religion, serving as a prison minister and writing a book about redemption. He said he tried to use his own experience on the streets to persuade his son to change his ways. "I wrote him letters, saying, 'You have to realize that you're pimping somebody's daughter, somebody's sister.' You know, they might not like that. These people have families out there, I told him that." He said his son had no response. "He couldn't say anything. He was silent," the elder Sneed said. "What else could a father do? Besides kidnapping him and putting him in a cage until his mind gets right." Recently, he said, he even contemplated doing just that. "I loved him that much," he said. About a month before his son was slain, Charles Sneed said, he tried to stage an intervention but couldn't gain the backing of other members of the family, including his ex-‐wife. The failed effort weighed heavy on Sneed's mind Thursday. "I saw what was going to happen to Calvin. I saw it coming," he said. "He was a handsome guy with tattoos, knew how to dress, how to smile, and some women just fall for
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it," he said. "I just wish I could have intervened. Calvin and I have almost gone to fistfights behind this. He is my son, but we have literally been just about ready to throw blows. We had to walk away from each other." 23 Had he known what was going on, he said, he would have put the girl on a bus home and made sure his son finally stopped being a pimp. Still, he said, his son did not deserve to die. 24 "Weigh it up," Charles Sneed said. "You can call him the dirtiest low-‐down dog in the world, but if he wasn't killing anybody, he didn't deserve that." * Editor’s note: According to the SF Examiner, the case could be eligible for the death penalty.
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William L. Anderson Vigilante Justice: A Proper Response to Government Failure 1
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On a hot summer day in 1980, someone, perhaps more than one person, shot and killed Ken Rex McElroy while he sat unarmed in his truck in Skidmore, Missouri. Authorities arrested no one, and nobody admitted to the killing. The "prime suspects" told investigators they were "hiding under the pool table" in a nearby bar. On a hot summer day in 1980, someone, perhaps more than one person, shot and killed Ken Rex McElroy while he sat unarmed in his truck in Skidmore, Missouri. Authorities arrested no one, and nobody admitted to the killing. The "prime suspects" told investigators they were "hiding under the pool table" in a nearby bar. Angered by the lack of speed with which local authorities were investigating the killing, the FBI muscled into the fray. Local residents were interviewed, threatened, and interviewed some more. Investigators searched in vain for the murder weapon. In the end, the shooting became an official "unsolved crime," and 20 years later the perpetrators still have not been brought to justice. Of course, Skidmore is not a community where people just shoot each other. To the contrary, it is quite law abiding, but the people there continue to refuse to talk about the killing of Ken Rex McElroy, and for good reason. McElroy had terrorized Skidmore and the surrounding area for more than a decade and his death made life better for the majority of people living there. Holding to the silence surrounding Ken Rex's death is worth keeping of the peace, local residents believe. The killing of McElroy, however, must be seen in a larger context of the present monopoly that the state has upon law enforcement and the administration of justice. Before tackling that larger issue, however, we need to know the story of this man and his death. By all accounts, McElroy was mean and intimidating and he feared no one. For example, a local police officer that stopped him for a traffic violation found himself looking at the barrel of a loaded shotgun. Thoroughly intimidated, the officer walked away and didn't have Ken Rex arrested. Others living around Skidmore had similar experiences. Those who tried to press charges against this bully soon had visits from him and were persuaded to change their minds. No witnesses, no crime. McElroy intimidated his neighbors for more than a decade, buttressed both by his own ferocity and a clever attorney who knew every delaying tactic in the law books. His client told him he would "never spend a day in jail," and he was able to do just that. However, one day Ken Rex stepped over the line, and it would ultimately lead to his death. A local grocery store owner who had caught one of McElroy's children stealing candy from his store found his family being terrorized almost daily by McElroy. Things disappeared from the family's yard, mailboxes were smashed, and McElroy's pickup truck parked nearby (with Ken Rex at the wheel) became a daily occurrence. As the situation became heated, McElroy snapped one day and shot the grocer in the neck with a shotgun while he was standing behind the counter. There were no other witnesses, but the man barely survived and filed charges against his assailant. A year of intimidation, ranging from threatening telephone calls to property damage passed before a jury convicted McElroy. However, because Missouri law permits a convicted felon to remain free on bond pending appeal, the grocer and his family daily had to face an enraged McElroy, who made open threats against his accuser. McElroy's attorney was able to arrange for several delays of the appeals hearing, but after yet another delay, things came to a head. As McElroy sat drinking in a bar, once again uttering threats against the grocer, a group of armed men from the town entered the establishment. No one spoke, and as McElroy walked out the door, the men followed him. Soon afterward, McElroy was shot to death. The unsuccessful federal investigation against this "unwarranted vigilantism" soon followed. A television network a few years later broadcast a made for TV movie about the event. However, in this story, the vigilantes, after murdering the bully, turn against decent townspeople and are ultimately
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found out. After all, as the good police officer tells the perpetrators, one "cannot take the law into their own hands" and become vigilantes. One of the most pejorative terms one can use in reference to law and self-‐defense is "vigilante." Indeed, if one is called a vigilante, it is tantamount to being declared a criminal. Public officials, newscasters, and those in law enforcement solemnly tell us "there is no room in this country for vigilante justice." Instead, we must wait for the "justice system" to work, and if it doesn't, well, that is simply a price we pay for having a free society. Like nearly everything else the political classes tell us, the so-‐called threat from vigilante justice is like the threat we face from private companies delivering the mail or from home schooling: it undermines an established government monopoly. If we permit people to "take the law into their own hands," we will have innocent people hurt or killed, and the proper wheels of justice will not be permitted to turn. Before debunking those reasons, we need first to recall the origins of vigilante justice. The term "vigilante" comes from the "Committees of Vigilance" which dotted the western United States in the days following the California Gold Rush. Fortune seekers, some of whom looked to transfer it from others through robbery and murder, overran communities such as San Francisco. Because there were few law enforcement officials in California, local citizens banded together to fight crime. By all accounts, their actions worked and the crime rate in places like San Francisco was far lower than it is today. As one might also expect, some people abused their powers and government authorities later disbanded the committees. At this point, most people are ready to say that the prospect of private law enforcement is a guarantee that people will abuse their powers, thus making government-‐run police a necessity. This argument assumes, of course, that government law enforcement officers do not abuse their powers. The fact that hundreds of prisoners are released each year because of wrongful convictions puts the lie to that argument. This past year, the State of Illinois released 13 prisoners from death row after DNA testing confirmed their innocence. In other words, the State of Illinois was prepared to kill 13 innocent men and would have done so had not modern science and private attorneys intervened. During the 1980s and much of the 1990s, power-‐grabbing district attorneys railroaded dozens of innocent people into prison on what turned out to be ludicrous charges of child molestation. From Manhattan Beach, California, to Edenton, North Carolina, to Boston, Massachusetts, states attorneys have falsely accused day care workers of the most horrendous crimes and manipulated juries into sentencing innocent people to life terms in prison. Only later were a few courageous attorneys and newspaper reporters able to expose the tactics of the state and secure the release of many of those victims. (Some people are still jailed even though most experts agree they are innocent. States attorneys, not surprisingly, are fighting to keep them incarcerated in order to save their own reputations.) The state monopoly on justice, as one can see, offers no protection against false accusation and imprisonment. At the same time, the state will often go to ridiculous lengths not to punish lawbreakers or to allow them to terrorize a community, as was the case with Ken Rex McElroy. In fact, one can argue that the State of Missouri, by keeping McElroy on the streets of Skidmore, contributed mightily to his death. Whoever shot the man did not do so out of meanness or a desire to commit murder, but rather out of sheer terror. State officials, by electing not to protect its citizens, made them vulnerable to a marauding madman. By all accounts, McElroy was not treated unjustly. Had a committee of armed citizens been permitted to visit him earlier, perhaps he might even have been persuaded of the error of his ways. Instead, the residents of Skidmore, by obeying the law for more than 10 years, received neither justice nor protection from the State of Missouri. In the end, a rough justice was served, but it proved to be better than what the government had offered.
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Edward Martone No: Mere Illusion of Safety Creates Climate of Vigilante Justice 1
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How can society protect itself from some of its most dangerous predators? That is the question posed by the debate over laws requiring community notification of the presence of convicted sex offenders released from prison. This debate flared up last summer after a horrible crime shocked the entire country. New Jerseyans responded by calling for a community notification law, reasoning that if the public knew about the presence of sex offenders in their midst, they could take measures to protect themselves from being victimized. The New Jersey Civil Liberties Union was almost alone in opposing the community notification bill. We argued that the law would merely create an illusion of safety, and that it would beget even more violence. Recent events have borne out our concerns. In the early morning of Jan. 8, two men forced their way into a house in Phillipsburg, N.J., looking for 25-‐year-‐old Michael Groff, a paroled sex offender. They knew he was staying there because the police had notified the community of his whereabouts under the new law. The intruders announced they were looking for “the child molester” and then began beating the wrong man. Fortunately, police arrived before anyone was seriously injured. Law enforcement officials quickly condemned the attack as unacceptable vigilantism. The local prosecutor insisted that the law “was never intended to permit or condone harassment or intimidation of individuals who have paid their debt to society.” But unfortunately, such unintended consequences are inevitable and unavoidable. The Phillipsburg assault was not the first. In Washington state, arson, death threats, slashed tires and loss of employment have been attributed to a similar community notification law enacted last year. The public’s rage against sex offenders is more than understandable. Their crimes, especially when visited upon children, leave life-‐long scars and offend the community’s deepest sensibilities. But in our zeal to protect ourselves and our children, we should not enact measures that do more harm than good. Besides creating a climate of ugly vigilantism, notification laws cause compulsive sex offenders to run from family, avoid treatment and seek the safety of anonymity by hiding out, thus subjecting the public to even greater risk. So far, state and federal courts in California, Illinois, Arizona, New Hampshire and Alaska have struck down community notification provisions as unconstitutional. In New Jersey, the law is being challenged by the ACLU. And in January, the federal district court in Newark issued a preliminary injunction against community notification in one released rapist’s case. The courts are concerned about the violation of ex post facto laws, although they have been less hospitable to privacy claims. The litigation will go on. In New Jersey, about 4,000 sex offenders are convicted every year and are sent to prisons that offer little or no treatment. Eventually, they are released into a state in which there are no residential programs that accept sex offenders with criminal records. Many of these are juvenile offenders who, if untreated, will commit an average of 360 sex offenses in a lifetime. Community notification laws offer little protection against this compulsive behavioral disorder. It is time we recognized that their sole function is political—to placate an angry public.
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Deborah Radcliff Vigilante Group Targets Child Pornography Sites 1 2
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A NEW GROUP of online activists is raising questions about just how far information technology people should go to stop illegal activity online. In mid-‐December, some 30 seasoned information security professionals, "white hat" hackers and technologists formed Condemned.org, an activist group dedicated to "eradicat[ing] the existence of child pornography, pedophilia and exploitation on the Internet.” As of its 10th day of operation, Dec. 21, Condemned.org claimed to have "eradicated" more than 20 child pornography servers through proper legal channels, according to Kent Browne, a 40-‐year-‐old systems architect for an East Coast consulting firm and a spokesman for Condemned.org. Browne also claimed that members have hacked into more than 13 servers overseas and erased their hard drives. Even as some legal experts condemn the attacks, Browne claimed that technologists are lining up to join the fight. "Everyone that I have spoken to is so anti-‐child-‐pornography that they literally beg me to find something for them to do to help," said Ben Bidner, a security administrator for a Web server group in Australia who founded and runs the Condemned.org server. Condemned also got support from a half-‐dozen Internet service providers, as well as Web development and security companies in Australia and the U.S., such as Geoday Pty., DuFunk and Ion12 Web Development. "Condemned.org is striving not only to rid these servers from the Internet, but to make the public aware that we are here actively opposing child pornography," Bidner said. Comstar.net, a corporate Internet service provider in Atlanta, has joined the cause, offering the group a free mirror site and connectivity. "It's the best cause I've ever come across on the Internet," said Jerry Zepp, Comstar's chief security officer. Condemned.org aims to make it simple for "normal Internet users" to report offending Web addresses by filling out a simple template located at http://www.condemned.org/. Condemned.org pushes the information forward to law enforcement agencies -‐-‐ local field offices of the FBI when servers are discovered in the U.S., and the Western Australian Police Web server. But Condemned also takes action of its own, Zepp said. First, Condemned.org volunteers notify server administrators of the illegal material stored on their machines' hard drives. Most are responsive, especially administrators at free e-‐mail services and Internet service providers who are unaware of the material at first, Browne said. America Online Inc., for example, said it has a general policy of terminating an account, then notifying law enforcement if it's made aware of illegal images or child-‐porn-‐related screen names. But when neither administrators nor law enforcement officials respond, Condemned.org resorts to hacking. Although no one at the organization would admit to hacking servers in the U.S., Browne acknowledged that a few Condemned.org volunteers have taken out 13 overseas sites this way. "We have hacked some of these sites in areas of the world where there are no laws," he said. "In those countries, we've taken servers completely off-‐line with buffer overflows or straight exploits written by a couple of guys on our staff. Once we get in, we erase their file directories and everything on their hard drives." But according to some experts, such attacks, in addition to being illegal, may be counterproductive. "Groups that are hacking these sites are making it hard for us to convict the pedophiles behind those sites," said Parry Aftab, an attorney and president of CyberAngels.org, a 6-‐year-‐old antipedophile group with 1,400 volunteer members. "If you take down a server, you take away my evidence," he said. If someone's using an Internet connection from the U.S. to hack other servers, it's a violation of cyberterrorism laws," said Aftab, who has written two books on children's online safety. "Heck, I'd love to string up every pedophile on the earth, but we can't do that. We don't live in a lawless society."
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OFFICIAL RETICENCE
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Pete Gulotta, special agent for the Baltimore office of the FBI's Innocent Images child pornography detail, agrees that taking down overseas sites may impede prosecutions, but he wouldn't offer an opinion on the legality of the attacks. The FBI and U.S. Customs Service officials work with foreign governments on international investigations, often undercover. "The problem lies with countries that don't have treaties with the U.S., some of which are in the Pacific Rim," Gulotta explained. "If you have servers in places like that, you're not going to get satisfaction with any law enforcement effort." Other security experts are more vehement. "Certain things in our society are blatantly offensive. And one of those things is kiddie porn," said Winn Schwartau, founder of security consultancy Interpac Inc. in Seminole, Fla. "The amount of damage caused by leaving these servers up is far greater than the damage caused by a few hackers." Jeffrey Hormann, commander of the U.S. Army's Computer Crime Investigative Unit, said the attacks threaten more than just pornographers. "One of the greatest problems law enforcement has in policing cyberspace is the view that cyberspace is so vastly different than the physical world. So we allow the technical community to take it upon itself to stop groups allegedly involved in child pornography," Hormann said. "But what about online gambling or groups professing hate crimes. Dowe allow attacks on their servers, too? In the physical world, we don't allow the businessman whose store has been broken into to hunt down and retaliate against the perpetrator." While federal agents don't publicly condone online server assaults, most law enforcement officials turn a blind eye, according to Browne and Schwartau, both of whom have had extensive off-‐the-‐record debates with law enforcement associates. "[Authorities] said to me, 'If you get up before any judge in the world, chances are he has kids and he's not going to convict you,'" Browne said. "Who would? This is horrid, horrid."
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WANTED: A FEW GOOD CYBERCOPS
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When it comes to fighting online child pornography, it seems law enforcement could use a little help from techie friends. "We can't keep up," says Don Huycke, a senior special agent at the Customs Service. Huycke works child pornography cases out of the Cyber Smuggling Unit in Washington. But things are changing. The FBI's Innocent Images opened four new offices last year and has doubled its caseload from 702 cases in fiscal year 1998 to 1,500 in fiscal 1999. "We're running an excellent conviction rate of 95%," says Pete Gulotta, a special agent at the Baltimore office of the FBI's Innocent Images child pornography detail. "Of the 468 arrests we've made since 1995, 384 led to conviction. The majority of the rest are pending."
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Vigilante Archetypes and the Spread of 'Real Life Superheroes' By Dr. Gavin Weston
The exponential rise of superheroes throughout popular culture is seeing a corresponding increase in related news stories: the Burka Avenger's role model status in the battle against Islamic fundamentalism, a portly gentleman dressed as Batman handing over a wanted criminal to the police in Bradford, or the galling details of the Aurora theatre killings are just the tip of the iceberg. This attention continued in a recent news story when Jim Carrey refused to publicise his role in the superhero film Kick-Ass 2 due to discomfort with the film in the wake of the Sandy Hook shootings, he tweeted: "I did Kickass a month b4 Sandy Hook and now in all good conscience I cannot support that level of violence." In an interview in The Times his sixteen-year-old co-star Chloe Grace Moretz clarified: "It's fake. It's not real life. I've known the difference since I was a child." But Kick-Ass is itself an exploration of the blurring between the imagined world of superheroes and real life vigilantism. Recent news stories regarding 'real life superheroes' see these distinctions collapse further still. Through research on Guatemalan lynchings, I became intrigued by the way in which vigilantism spreads. When the provision of justice is seen as severely deficient people take justice into their own hands, doing so in a way that corresponds with existing blueprints for such actions. Role models are generally drawn from the real world, but sometimes they come from fiction. The starkest example of this can be seen in the way in which D.W. Griffith's 1915 silent film Birth of a Nation led directly to William J. Simmons re-founding the Ku Klux Klan - a clear example of fictional vigilantes directly inspiring real vigilantes. Phoenix Jones, leader of the Rain City Superhero Movement, and the most prominent among the growing number of real life superheroes, recently came to the UK gaining attention across TV, newspapers and online. During his stay, I had the pleasure of sharing the stage with Jones, his wife Purple Reign and Peter Tangen, founder of the Real Life Superhero Project (RLSH), to discuss ideas of vigilantism and justice. It became clear that while Jones and Reign patrol and often use violent force; his brand of policing has become increasingly intertwined with the state, moving him away from vigilantism. His involvement in 250 arrests demonstrates his inherent pro-police stance, although he is never short of criticisms of their flaws. Jones and his Rain City Superhero Movement refer to themselves as a 'citizen prevention eyewitness group'. Other patrolling real life superheroes such as The New York Initiative conduct themselves in a similar manner. The ability of the police to clamp down hard on over-exuberant 'superheroism' is fundamental to the shape this new movement is taking. A look at Tangen's RLSH Project website shows that you're more likely to find costumed heroes handing out food to the homeless or raising awareness of social issues than patrolling. This new movement appears to be spreading at increasing pace with at least 200 active members. But this is not best understood as a vigilante movement, despite their actions often being described as vigilantism in the press. This is something more subtle, more charitable and pro-state. The real life superheroes that Kick-Ass and other superhero media outputs have inspired are acting in societies where satisfaction with justice is relatively high and police authority relatively strong. While this remains true, real life superheroes will rarely stray into vigilante territory. EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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Dr Gavin Weston is in the Department of Anthropology at Goldsmiths, University of London and will be presenting a paper entitled 'Vigilante archetypes and real life superheroes: the birth of a costumed movement' at the British Science Festival in Newcastle on 8th September.
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Violence In Comics: How Far Is Too Far? by Matthew Meylikhov
Last week saw an uptick in controversy as DC published two comics featuring some less-thanflattering portrayals of women and sex in the comics to the point that they are alienating potential fans. It has been an ongoing issue in comics, and a reasonable one at that; certainly something that needs attention brought to it when fans are able to do so. However, as Bleeding Cool pointed out last week, nobody seems to be focusing on the excessive amount of pointless violence. Not to compare apples to oranges too much here, but we’re slowly reaching a point where violence is becoming common place, no matter how ridiculous it is, yet it is not discussed or valued on the same level — which seems rather odd. That’s generally always been the case; gratuitous violence is usually considered fairly common place in media (Michael Bay does have a career, after all), whereas people often have more issues with sexuality (or swears/inappropriate language). I mean, it’s not like comics are stranger to excess violence, especially in super hero comics. The question then becomes — at what point are things going too far? Let’s talk a bit about this after the cut. This week, with the latest issue of Mark Millar’s Kick-Ass #4 (the “MUST-READ BOOK FOR PSYCHOPATHS!”), we not only get the above ridiculous murder of children by the renamed character The Motherfucker, but the following scene where he murders Kick-Ass’s love interest’s father and attacks her sexually and physically. EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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For those curious, this leads to a mentioned-but-not-shown three-person rape train on Katie, Kick-Ass’ love interest of the book. It’s a scene of violence for violence’s sake and nothing more; it’s fairly deplorable and it is entirely pointless. It instantly recalls the event of Sue Dibny’s rape in Identity Crisis, but here is the prime difference between the two: Sue Dibny’s rape is a historic comic scene and a controversial piece of DC history which attempted to have a meaning (even if it didn’t succeed with a large chunk of DC’s audience in the way they had hoped). Is anyone going to care about the Motherfucker’s rape scene by next week? Is this ok in the first place, since it’s not Doctor Light raping Sue Dibny? This scene is certainly just as blatant as Identity Crisis’ controversial scene. This is every Saw film. This is Hostel parts 1 and 2. It’s The Hills Have Eyes remake, it’s Captivity, it’s Wolf Creek or The Collector – as fellow MC writer David Harper put it, this is “straight-up murder porn.” It’s not even done in a clever way like Funny Games, that turns the tables on the viewer and asks the audience to debate the meaning of the violence and its impact. Nope, this is like watching The Human Centipede, except it assumes you think this is supposed to be “cool” and not grotesque. Mark Millar’s original Kick-Ass comic book, a notably mature comic book that was certainly always over-the-top and meant to be excessive, seemed like a satire of superhero comic books and the various tropes surrounding them, fixated on the subculture of Real Life Superheroes. Now that Kick-Ass is a New York Times Best Seller last year with a film adaptation earning $96 million worldwide at the box office and holding a Fresh rating on the Rotten Tomatoes aggregator, Kick-Ass is just a surface value comic of violence. It doesn’t seem like Mark Millar is really trying to tell good stories anymore so much as he is trying to tell crazy bananas stories. With that in mind, it doesn’t seem improbable to believe that the collected edition of Kick-Ass 2: Balls to the Wall will hop on the New York Times Best Seller list, and that the eventual film adaptation will try and be just as over-the-top as the first film (which is notably rather ridiculous). Not only that, but it doesn’t seem unlikely to assume that given how well Kick-Ass did, Kick-Ass 2: Balls to the Wall could probably reach just as great an audience of irregular comic reader as the DCnU 52 hopes to (if not greater than). Heck, I’ve seen people in my local shop show up just to buy Kick-Ass volume 2, and have several people who don’t regularly read books inquire with me as to when the next issue is going to be released. This type of book is giving the readers exactly what they want. So what happens when it’s time for Christopher Mintz-Plasse to rape Lyndsy Fonseca on camera? Kick-Ass isn’t the only book to feature this type of thing of course, both in the past and in the present; Garth Ennis has certainly had a fair deal of this sort of material in his various works, from the Preacher to the Boys. If you look at Mark Millar’s recent output, from Nemesis to Superior, there’s certainly a recurring element in his storytelling that now appears to be “the Mark Millar Trope” in the same way that Frank Miller has cultivated a trope to his own storytelling. This just the current way of things, and it almost seems silly to look at a book called Kick-Ass and wag a finger at it. What else were we expecting?
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But these scenes serve absolutely no purpose other than to show off how evil the character is. As I mentioned already, this is violence for violence’s sake; I mean, his name is The Motherfucker! He leads the group the Toxic Mega-Cunts! This is certainly a “we get it, Mark” scenario if there ever was one. Even so, it stands as noteworthy when an entire audience is generally able to let this just slide by or clamor for it, even in a book geared towards older audiences and people looking to get away from traditional superhero books. That doesn’t change a few facts, though: this is still our medium, and this is still a high-profile title; this should be more controversial, shouldn’t it? While it is still early to judge reactions (the book came out 24 hours or so ago), it seems odd to see so few comments on it. This is an entire issue dedicated to supervillains being super villains in an unconventional fashion, and it is at the point where I as a reader, who buys Mark Millar books solely to because I just “have to see what that wacky Scottish bloke is going to do next!”, am asking myself why I bother. Sure, I probably could’ve asked this question twenty Millar issues ago, but there’s something to be said about watching the once important, prolific and influential writers let himself go. After Mark Millar’s rape train on Katie, there’s no real reason to go further, is there? Kick-Ass is not a mainstream superhero book in the same way that the DC books in question of last week are, but it does seem rather important to pay attention to the existence of these scenes and stories, both in Kick-Ass and elsewhere. Kick-Ass is a high-profile title, and one that irregular comic readers are aware of just as much as they are aware of an event like 52 new comic books from DC. There’s a Kick-Ass movie on DVD and Blu-ray, and there’s going to be a sequel; this is the material that will inform that feature film, and Mark Millar has been very honest about saying that he is now writing the book with the film in mind. Are we really ready to let people’s opinions of comics be solidified in the future by men getting hacked up and given severed dog heads to wear and child assassinations?
Hardcore comic fans have every right to be upset about scenes like the Catwoman finale or Starfire’s beach exposure, but when it comes time to talk to the irregular comic reader who is here just to see what Mark Millar is up to, how do we explain this to them?
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Joey Drummond Leonard/Lisha Lart 211 De Anza College 6/25/12 Reflective essay #5
I’ve Got What it Takes Reading and writing is like running, its long, heard, and takes some time but at the end It all pays off. I need to be in EWRT 1A. I have been working very hard at my reading an writhing skills and feel that I have the right to move up. I have learned a lot from both LART 200, and LART211. Even though I still make some mistake, just like other student. I have what it takes. I have improved so much seins the beginning of my reading and writing adventure. It has shown me what I’ve been doing wrong all this time. Thinks to Sarah Lisha, and Amy Leonard, who teach the 211 and 200 classes, They have taught me everything that I will need to know for EWRT 1A. Although I may not have been the most outstanding student, I have mastered important skills that are needed for 1A such as, writing a well structure P.I.E paragraph and how to annotate what I read to better remember details.
Frist, for the writing side of the class I have learned that I had very weak P.I.E structure. in my rough draft for the LART211, flight essay I stated In the begging of one paragraph "How Small Saint shows Zits honesty" (Drummond 1) this was my point of the paragraph. After seeing a tutor and talking with Amy I found out that this isn’t how you should start your essay you need something that gets the reader attention. You need something that really gets your point across to reader with details. Even though most of my paragraphs do have okay points, they need to be explain because the reader doesn’t always know what you’re talking about that’s way is good to always add details to yours essays and putting everything where it needs to go in the paragraph. P.I.E is something that is very EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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important to a 1A essay. It gives the reader a sense of directions well reading your paragraph and without you will fail.
Next, I could never remember what I read, till I leaned about annotating. In one of my essay I used a quote, I would have never remembered the quote if I didn’t annotate my book thanks to Sarah, she showed me how to take my time when reading. Reading isn’t something you can just do. I leaned in the reading side of the class. If I just pick up a book and read it I wouldn’t remember anything but then I started to annotate and high lighting quote, then I can go beck and really look it at to getter understanding of the quote. Annotate is a great skill to have in 1A because in order to writ more complex essay with detailed quote sandwiches.
Last, all thought you could say that that, because I’m not top of the class, I’m not 1A materials I’m not going to lie I make some mistakes. In one of my classes I had to respell a word about three fore times before I got it right. I know that i need to really improve in these areas. I am working very hard to fix my trouble spots so i cat move and become more confident in my writing. 1A would really help me with my writing because It is on a other writing level then LART, i know I would be more diligent and better aware of my spilling. I’ve been going to tutoring and and been getting any help i can get as well, I'm still not the best writer but I have come a long ways from where i was last yare. when i took LART 200. Although im not the best at reading and writing I have learned a lot of skills and techniques from LART211 that are very imprint to 1A such as the proper way to writ a P.I.E paragraph and also how to annotate books, overthought these are things you should know before even going into LART211, there are things you should be mastered so you don’t have to worry about them well going to 1A and you can spend more time working on other parts of your reading and writing to become more ……. I really help to have past LART211 so that I may move up to 1A to further my reading and writing skills, therefore I could live my dream of becoming a one of the beast personal trainers.
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Writing Strategies
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General and Specific2 We use writing and reading in many different ways: to understand our world and to communicate our own feelings, needs, and desires. The information we read and write can be divided into two groups: general and specific. Both have important functions as you may remember from the first day in class when you worked on asking general and specific questions to find out more about your classmates.
General General information or terms refer to groups. For instance, food would be a general term, because it covers a whole group of different things (i.e. bagels, rice, chocolate). You can also think of it as a topic, such as identity, or media violence. General information always refers to many different things, rather than one, precise detail. You may find general statements in: Introductions Thesis Statements
Conclusions Topic Sentences
Specific If general information refers to groups, then specific information refers to one, individual thing. For instance, whereas a general term would be “food,” a specific term would be “pizza.” Think of specific information as the details. Specific information may appear as: Quotes Explanations Details Personal Examples
Purpose Though they seem like opposites, general and specific information are actually linked. Think about if you only used general information: no one would understand what you were talking about, and writing would be boring. Likewise, if you only used specific terms, no one would the topic you were writing about. Thus, most writing contains a mixture of both general and specific information in order to introduce readers to the topic, and then give them details about the topic.
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What is a FACT? We make inferences based on our own observations or on the observations of others as they are presented to us through speech or print. These observations often consist of facts, information that can be verified. Marks on the floor lead to a broken window. “A crowbar leaves linear wounds with V-shaped ends.” Our own observations attest to the truth of these claims. But often we are dependent on others’ observations about people, places, and events we cannot directly observe. Books, newspapers, magazines, and television programs are filled with reports — facts — giving us information about the world that we are unable to gain from direct observation. If we doubt the truth of these claims, we usually can turn to other sources to verify or discredit them. Facts come in a vast array of forms — statistics, names, events — and are distinguished by their ability to be verified. Confusion tends to grow less from the facts themselves than from the inferences we make based on a given set of facts. It is important, however, to think critically about our sources, including our own observations, in order to understand possible biases.
Eyewitness reports and individual
experiences, your own or those of others, can serve as valuable factual evidence. Whether or not evidence is accepted depends on how your audience views you as a witness or on their evaluation of a cited witness and the circumstances under which the report was made. What is an Opinion? When we infer that the individual on the pogo stick took one jump too many, we laugh but are unlikely to express approval or disapproval of the event. On the other hand, when we infer that the woman in the car in front of us is a poor driver, we express disapproval of her driving skills; we make a judgment, in this case, a statement of disapproval.
A judgment is also an inference, but although many inferences are
free of positive or negative connotation, such as “I think it’s going to rain,” a judgment always expresses the writer’s or speaker’s approval or disapproval. Certain judgments are taken for granted, become part of a culture’s shared belief system, and are unlikely to be challenged under most circumstances. For example, most of us would accept the following statements: “Taking the property of others is wrong” or “People who physically abuse children should be punished.” But many judgments are not universally accepted without considerable well-reasoned supporter may be rejected regardless of additional support and cogent reasoning.
Practice: Write one Fact: Write one Opinion:
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Distinguishing Between Facts, Inferences, and Opinions Determine whether the following statements are facts (reports), inferences, or judgments and explain your reasoning. Note that some may include more than one, and some may be open to interpretation. Example: I heard on the morning news that the city subway system has ground to a halt this morning; many students will arrive late for class. “I heard on the morning news that the city subway system has ground to a halt this morning”: fact. I did hear it and the information can be verified. “Many students will arrive late for class”: inference: This is a conclusion drawn from the information about the breakdown of the subway. 1. Video games are promoting racist ideology because the bad guys are always of a different race. 2. For sale: “a A+ paper for Amy’s EWRT 1A class.” 3. Forty-one percent of Californians who die are cremated-almost twice the national average of 21 percent.
4. Megan fox is hot. 5. John Updike, reviewing Tom Wolfe’s A Man in Full, concludes that the novel “amounts to entertainment, not literature.” 6. Batman is a better superhero than Aquaman since he is not restricted to using only water to catch criminals. 7. There have been four Spider-Man movies. 8. The Avengers is a fun movie to watch with friends.
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The Writing Process Prewriting, Brainstorm, Freewrite, Make Lists 1. Collect Information. Make a list of all your impressions about the topic. The list doesn't have to be in complete sentences, and don't worry about spelling, grammar or punctuation, just get all of your ideas down. Don't censor yourself and be as specific and detailed as possible. 2. Focus. Ask yourself, "What is the dominant impression I want to give my reader? What point do I want to make?" (This will help you create your thesis statement.) Choose the descriptions which convey your dominant impression. Pick the descriptions and information that work best. 3. Freewrite. Freewriting is almost exactly what it sounds like. In a freewriting assignment, you write whatever comes to mind about a particular topic. Don't stop writing for whatever the time limit is, even if you end up writing the same word over and over again, just keep going. Don't worry about grammar, spelling or punctuation. In classes you may do "directed" freewrites. This means the teacher will suggest a topic or question for you to address in order to prepare you for your essay. The same rules apply (don't stop, don't worry about grammar, etc.) but your goal is to try to stay on the topic so that you can generate ideas for your essay. Organizing, Writing Plans, Clusters, Outlines, Essay Skeletons Think about how to organize your descriptions and ideas. What order will be the easiest for your reader to follow? Which main ideas are most important and relevant? Writing Plans A writing plan is an organized outline or cluster diagram of what you plan to write about in your essay. Your writing plan should be detailed enough that someone in the class would know what main ideas you will cover in your essay and what your overall stance on the topic is. You might also include some detailed examples if you have them in mind so that you will remember to include them in your essay. Drafting, Speed Draft, Rough Draft, Peer Review Draft Try a "speed draft" first, one in which you try to follow your organizational plan, but don't worry about mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation). A speed draft may be handwritten or composed on the computer. In a rough draft, you can rewrite/type your speed draft, making any changes you think are needed. This, or a third, or fourth draft, will be the "good faith draft" you bring to peer review. Revising, Rearrange, Tighten Up, Explain, Give Sufficient Examples Look over the notes from peer response and reread the essay to yourself with a pen or pencil in hand, making notes to yourself. Revise your draft as often as necessary to make it clearer and more fully developed. Make sure your paragraphs have topic sentences and you have a main point that you stick to throughout the essay. Make sure you have fulfilled the requirements of the assignment. Revision doesn't just mean "correcting" grammar or "fixing" sentences. Give yourself permission to make significant changes, even to change your opinion about your topic. You are in control; you can make whatever changes you want. But in the end, don't forget to ensure that it all hangs together, that the end matches the middle and the beginning. Proofreading, Read Out Loud, Read Backwards
Proofread your draft, combining your sentences to make them smoother, correcting the mechanical errors (spelling, punctuation, etc.). Make corrections necessary to complete your final draft. Always save proofreading for last, but save enough time to do a thorough job. You should leave at least a few hours after completing your paper before you proofread.
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The Writing Process Visual
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Writing Audience AUDIENCE MATTERS When you’re in the process of writing a paper, it’s easy to forget that you are actually writing to someone. Whether you’ve thought about it consciously or not, you always write to an audience: sometimes your audience is a very generalized group of readers, sometimes you know the individuals who compose the audience, and sometimes you write for yourself. Keeping your audience in mind while you write can help you make good decisions about what material to include, how to organize your ideas, and how best to support your argument. To illustrate the impact of audience, imagine you’re writing a letter to your grandmother to tell her about your first month of college. What details and stories might you include? What might you leave out? Now imagine that you’re writing on the same topic but your audience is your best friend. Unless you have an extremely cool grandma to whom you’re very close, it’s likely that your two letters would look quite different in terms of content, structure, and even tone. ISN’T MY INSTRUCTOR MY AUDIENCE? Yes, your instructor or TA is probably the actual audience for your paper. Your instructors read and grade your essays, and you want to keep their needs and perspectives in mind when you write. However, when you write an essay with only your instructor in mind, you might not say as much as you should or say it as clearly as you should, because you assume that the person grading it knows more than you do and will fill in the gaps. This leaves it up to the instructor to decide what you are really saying, and she might decide differently than you expect. For example, she might decide that those gaps show that you don’t know and understand the material. Remember that time when you said to yourself, “I don’t have to explain communism; my instructor knows more about that than I do” and got back a paper that said something like “Shows no understanding of communism”? That’s an example of what can go awry when you think of your instructor as your only audience. Thinking about your audience differently can improve your writing, especially in terms of how clearly you express your argument. The clearer your points are, the more likely you are to have a strong essay. Your instructor will say, “He really understands communism—he’s able to explain it simply and clearly!” By treating your instructor as an intelligent but uninformed audience, you end up addressing her more effectively. HOW DO I IDENTIFY MY AUDIENCE AND WHAT THEY WANT FROM ME? Before you even begin the process of writing, take some time to consider who your audience is and what they want from you. Use the following questions to help you identify your audience and what you can do to address their wants and needs. • • • • • • • •
Who is your audience? Might you have more than one audience? If so, how many audiences do you have? List them. Does your assignment itself give any clues about your audience? What does your audience need? What do they want? What do they value? What is most important to them? What are they least likely to care about? What kind of organization would best help your audience understand and appreciate your? What do you have to say (or what are you doing in your research) that might surprise your audience?
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• What do you want your audience to think, learn, or assume about you? What impression do you want your writing or your research to convey? HOW MUCH SHOULD I EXPLAIN? This is the hard part. As we said earlier, you want to show your instructor that you know the material. But different assignments call for varying degrees of information. Different fields also have different expectations. For more about what each field tends to expect from an essay, see the Writing Center handouts on writing in specific fields of study. The best place to start figuring out how much you should say about each part of your paper is in a careful reading of the assignment. We give you some tips for reading assignments and figuring them out in our handout on how to read an assignment. The assignment may specify an audience for your paper; sometimes the instructor will ask you to imagine that you are writing to your congressperson, for a professional journal, to a group of specialists in a particular field, or for a group of your peers. If the assignment doesn’t specify an audience, you may find it most useful to imagine your classmates reading the paper, rather than your instructor. Now, knowing your imaginary audience, what other clues can you get from the assignment? If the assignment asks you to summarize something that you have read, then your reader wants you to include more examples from the text than if the assignment asks you to interpret the passage. Most assignments in college focus on argument rather than the repetition of learned information, so your reader probably doesn’t want a lengthy, detailed, point-by-point summary of your reading (book reports in some classes and argument reconstructions in philosophy classes are big exceptions to this rule). If your assignment asks you to interpret or analyze the text (or an event or idea), then you want to make sure that your explanation of the material is focused and not so detailed that you end up spending more time on examples than on your analysis. If you are not sure about the difference between explaining something and analyzing it, see our handouts on reading the assignment and argument. Once you have a draft, try your level of explanation out on a friend, a classmate, or a Writing Center tutor. Get the person to read your rough draft, and then ask her to talk to you about what she did and didn’t understand. (Now is not the time to talk about proofreading stuff, so make sure she ignores those issues for the time being). You will likely get one of the following responses or a combination of them: • If your listener/reader has tons of questions about what you are saying, then you probably need to explain more. Let’s say you are writing a paper on piranhas, and your reader says, “What’s a piranha? Why do I need to know about them? How would I identify one?” Those are vital questions that you clearly need to answer in your paper. You need more detail and elaboration. • If your reader seems confused, you probably need to explain more clearly. So if he says, “Are there piranhas in the lakes around here?” you may not need to give more examples, but rather focus on making sure your examples and points are clear. • If your reader looks bored and can repeat back to you more details than she needs to know to get your point, you probably explained too much. Excessive detail can also be confusing, because it can bog the reader down and keep her from focusing on your main points. You want your reader to say, “So it seems like your paper is saying that piranhas are misunderstood creatures that are essential to South American ecosystems,” not, “Uh…piranhas are important?” or, “Well, I know you said piranhas don’t usually attack people, and they’re usually around 10 inches long, and some people keep them in aquariums as pets, and dolphins are one of their predators, and…a bunch of other stuff, I guess?” Sometimes it’s not the amount of explanation that matters, but the word choice and tone you adopt. Your word choice and tone need to match your audience’s expectations. For example, imagine you are EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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researching piranhas; you find an article in National Geographic and another one in an academic journal for scientists. How would you expect the two articles to sound? National Geographic is written for a popular audience; you might expect it to have sentences like “The piranha generally lives in shallow rivers and streams in South America.” The scientific journal, on the other hand, might use much more technical language, because it’s written for an audience of specialists. A sentence like “Serrasalmus piraya lives in fresh and brackish intercoastal and proto-arboreal sub-tropical regions between the 45th and 38th parallels” might not be out of place in the journal. Generally, you want your reader to know enough material to understand the points you are making. It’s like the old forest/trees metaphor. If you give the reader nothing but trees, she won’t see the forest (your thesis, the reason for your paper). If you give her a big forest and no trees, she won’t know how you got to the forest (she might say, “Your point is fine, but you haven’t proven it to me”). You want the reader to say, “Nice forest, and those trees really help me to see it.” Our handout on paragraph development can help you find a good balance of examples and explanation. READING YOUR OWN DRAFTS Writers tend to read over their own papers pretty quickly, with the knowledge of what they are trying to argue already in their minds. Reading in this way can cause you to skip over gaps in your written argument because the gap-filler is in your head. A problem occurs when your reader falls into these gaps. Your reader wants you to make the necessary connections from one thought or sentence to the next. When you don’t, the reader can become confused or frustrated. Think about when you read something and you struggle to find the most important points or what the writer is trying to say. Isn’t that annoying? Doesn’t it make you want to quit reading and surf the web or call a friend? PUTTING YOURSELF IN THE READER’S POSITION Instead of reading your draft as if you wrote it and know what you meant, try reading it as if you have no previous knowledge of the material. Have you explained enough? Are the connections clear? This can be hard to do at first. Consider using one of the following strategies: • Take a break from your work—go work out, take a nap, take a day off. This is why the Writing Center and your instructors encourage you to start writing more than a day before the paper is due. If you write the paper the night before it’s due, you make it almost impossible to read the paper with a fresh eye. • Try outlining after writing—after you have a draft, look at each paragraph separately. Write down the main point for each paragraph on a separate sheet of paper, in the order you have put them. Then look at your “outline”—does it reflect what you meant to say, in a logical order? Are some paragraphs hard to reduce to one point? Why? This technique will help you find places where you may have confused your reader by straying from your original plan for the paper. • Read the paper aloud—we do this all the time at the Writing Center, and once you get used to it, you’ll see that it helps you slow down and really consider how your reader experiences your text. It will also help you catch a lot of sentence-level errors, such as misspellings and missing words, which can make it difficult for your reader to focus on your argument.
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Elements of an Essay Title The title is the reader’s first impression of the essay – the first words the reader reads. The title can do any of the following: • Convey the topic to the reader. • Convey the writer’s attitude. • Be thought-provoking, insightful. • Engage the reader’s attention. Introduction • Introduces the subject or topic of the essay to the reader in a general way. • Creates interests – grabs the reader’s attention. • Indicates the writer’s stance. • Includes a thesis statement. The title, introduction and thesis statement form a promise to the reader. All three indicate to the reader what the essay will be about – all three enable the reader to make predictions about what territory the essay will cover. The promise that the title, intro, and thesis give must be consistent and clear, and it must be fulfilled throughout the essay by the body paragraphs and finally, by the conclusion. Body Paragraphs Body paragraphs are the meat of the essay. Each paragraph must: • Support the thesis statement. • Have one main idea or point expressed in a topic sentence. • Include information (examples, data, facts, quotes, paraphrases, personal observations) which support the main point of the paragraph. • Provide commentary, or explanation, which connects the information to the point and thus to the thesis. Consciously or subconsciously, readers make predictions about what will be in the paragraph based on the topic sentence. The topic sentence carries the point of the paragraph and is a promise as well. The paragraph must fulfill the promise of the topic sentence. Conclusion The conclusion is the last impression the reader has of the essay and can function in a variety of ways. A conclusion can: • Restate the main message of the essay. • Summarize the main points of the essay. • Give the thesis a larger application – connect it to the world at large. • Solve a problem raised in the essay. • Make a call to action – encourage or command the reader to take some action related to the thesis.
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The Structure of an Argument The Beginning…. Hooks your audience (attention getter) States the problem Establishes your position Presents your thesis statement
The Middle/ Body Paragraphs…. Provides background information Responds to other points of view Presents arguments supporting your main claim Anticipates possible objections
The End/ Conclusion…. Summarizes your position and implications Invites readers to share your conclusion and/ or take action
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The Six "Moves" of Argument An essay is not an introduction, a thesis, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. Those are merely the things writers use to create an essay. But a true essay is more of a testing or advancing of an idea. It is a writer coming forward in writing and saying, "Based on the information I have, I think THIS represents the best way of thinking about this topic." That's really all an essay is. Of course, in order to convince readers that the idea advanced in the essay (i.e. the idea expressed in the thesis) is, in fact, the best way (or at least a reasonable way) of thinking about the topic, the writer must DO particular things. This is key. Writers do not create arguments by simply pasting a thesis to an intro and then following it with paragraphs. Rather, writers create written arguments by doing the following. 1. Orienting Readers to a Question at Issue: Imagine a group of people in the college quad arguing. You step into the circle, and it’s a flurry of arguments and voices. You don't know what's going on or what the focus is. You pull a friend out of the group and asked to be filled in. When you do, you'll get the following: What group is arguing about (i.e. the topic). A description of the topic (if you don't already know it). An indication of the controversy involving the topic (the question at issue). A brief description of what each side is saying in response to the question at issue. A brief description of why the group can't seem to reach agreement. A brief description of why the group is taking the time to argue (i.e. why the question at issue matters). Proposing A Specific Argument/Thesis: Once you know what the question at issue is and you feel oriented to the controversy, you can, if you know about the issue, offer your own answer to the question at issue participate in the conversation. Your answer is your argument or thesis. 3. Defining Key Terms: If your argument hinges on people accepting or understanding particular concepts, you need to define them. You'll want to be careful how you do this, though. You'll want to briefly define terms, not exhaustively (unless it is a term that is, itself, driving the controversy), and you'll want to define the terms in the context of your argument. In other words, you wouldn't, in this college quad conversation, bring the conversation to a screeching halt by taking the floor to define a concept that you plan to use in ten minutes. You'll define the concept as it is relevant to the immediate point you're making. 4. Offering Reasons, Evidence, Explanations, and Examples that Support Your Thesis: The people gathered in the circle listening to you will want you to offer information and reasons that will help them understand why you have offered the argument you have. Your goal is to get them see your thinking process—i.e. the process by which you’ve come to your conclusion—and the help them understand why they should think similarly to you. You'll do whatever you can (without ever lying or misleading) to help them "see" the reasonableness of your answer to the question at issue. 5. Acknowledging, Accommodating, and Refuting Differing points of view. You know many of the people in your conversation circle have their own ideas about the topic. They have concerns, they have fears, they have interests. And to protect these, they have positions. They may be content to listen to your different ideas while holding fast to their positions. To get them to "let go" of some of their concerns, fears, and interests (or to at least get them to think differently about them so they don't prevent them from entertaining your ideas), you have to • Acknowledge that you are aware of these concerns, fears, interests, and positions. This means simply that you let them know that you are aware of and understand what's on their minds. • Accommodate their concerns, fears, interests, and positions WHEN YOU CAN. The people in your conversation circle will let their guard down and listen to you with a much more open mind when you not only acknowledge their point of view, but also grant that some of what they think is actually correct and/or well-intentioned. Do this whenever you can--even if you only say something like, "The intentions behind my opponents' position is good." Sometimes, though, there is nothing about your opponents' arguments that you can accommodate. When this is the case, don't pretend like there is. • Refute their positions. In refuting, you are trying to get them to "let go" of the concerns, fears, and/or interests that are causing them to take their position. You can do this by showing them that their position is the wrong one to protect their concerns or interests; or that their fears or interests are based on bad information or bad values; or that there are other concerns or interests greater than their own that they should embrace. Ending your argument. If after you've informed the people in your conversation circle of your position and your reasons for it you simply turn and walk away, they'll feel "cut off" and slighted. They'll wonder what you're problem is. With essays readers can have a similarly discomforting experience if the writer doesn't end smoothly. All a writer needs to do to eliminate that discomfort the reader may feel is let readers know the essay is over. You can do this by "winding down" and letting readers see that you are done supporting your argument and coming back to sit with it.
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THESIS STATEMENTS
The thesis statement is the central message of the essay. It is important for giving guidance and direction to the rest of the essay. It may be stated or implied, but if stated it almost always is placed in the first paragraph. Exceptions include a "process paper", where it may appear in the conclusion, or a paper that utilizes a question in the introduction to lend focus to the paper and then contains a more substantive thesis statement in its concluding paragraph. These types of papers will not occur until after EWRT 211 BASIC REQUIREMENTS FOR A THESIS STATEMENT Andrea Lunsford, in the 2nd edition of The Everyday Writer suggests that a thesis should have two parts: the topic and the comment. The example below offers an example of this breakdown. Topic Comment The recent rise in violent crimes can be traced to their widespread, unsupervised use of violent among teen-agers videogames. She also argues that a successful thesis has three characteristics: 1. It should be interesting to its intended audience 2. It should be specific 3. It should limit the topic so that it isn't too broad Thesis Formula: Level 1: Topic + Comment Example: Batman can beat Superman because is smart enough to discover Superman’s weaknesses. Level 2: Concession + Topic + Comment Example: Even though Batman does not have superpowers, he can beat Superman because is smart enough to discover Superman’s weaknesses. EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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WHAT TO AVOID 1. Don't simply state a fact. Because a thesis must prepare readers for facts and details, it cannot itself be a fact. For example, this thesis simply states a fact: Last year saw a decrease in the number of "bad girl" roles in Hollywood. It should always be a generalization demanding proof or further development. Here's a revision of the thesis above: The decrease in 'bad girl' roles witnessed in 1998 reflects the conservative backlash against strong female characters in the media. 2. Don't be too broad. You want to be particularly careful to limit the scope of your thesis statement and too avoid one that is too broad in scope or too vague. And in general, you want to try not to depend on a faulty generalization -- a generalization using words such as "all", "none", "no," "any", "always," "never", "only" and "everyone" that implies that the one particular instance you are talking about applies to all instances of something. 3. Don't create a circular or "weaseling" thesis. A circular thesis doubles back on itself, saying only what it has already implied. 4. Don't "Beg the Question". The term "begging the question" means settling the question before you've even discussed it -- prejudging the issue. By using loaded terms and phrases in your thesis statement, you can come away sounding close-minded -- a reader might not want to read an essay that from the first paragraph forbids any disagreement. For instance, this thesis "begs the question": 5. Don't Use Either/Or Reasoning. Using an either/or construction in your thesis tends to reduce your argument to extremes -- an alarmist technique that pretends the only alternative to your point of view is something quite horrible. Here's an example: FINAL HINTS: 5. Always check your conclusion with your thesis statement to make sure that your essay really ended up where you said it would go. Always remember to integrate your thesis with the prose surrounding it. One typical error made by writers is that they spend a lot of time polishing their thesis and then simply insert it into a paragraph that has seen substantially less revision. Not only does the quality of the prose set the thesis off from the surrounding text, but it quite possibly may not flow with the overall development of the paragraph. You may even find that you need to alter your thesis statement (tone it down; break it into a couple sentences; reword it slightly for better transition) in order to incorporate it smoothly into your paragraph.
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Thesis Challenge
Directions: 1. On a separate piece of paper, please put the MLA head and the name of challenge 2. Read each thesis statement 3. Underline the topic & Bracket the comment 4. Decide whether the thesis is successful or successful and why 1. Body piercing is popular among kids nowadays. 2. Body piercing among contemporary youth represents the latest form of rebelling against authority that previous generations manifested in smoking, getting tattoos, and wearing mini-skirts. 3. Female musicians are getting more popular. 4. During the past five years, musical artists like Sheryl Crow, Alanis Morisette, and Jewel have solidified a place for women's music on the top ten charts. 5. News coverage of military action : News coverage of military actions undermines their seriousness. 6. By featuring highlights of air strikes and peace-keeping missions on the news, television producers reduce them to the status of popular entertainment and undermine the audience's appreciation of the seriousness of military actions.
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The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Sample Thesis Statements for Essay #3 Directions: 1. Read the statements below 2. Decide whether each thesis is: good, bad, or ugly 3. Explain why you made your choice.
1. Although Spider-Man a hero that New York needs, his actions throughout Spider-Man 2 show that he is a menace by causing major economic damage to the city.
2. Even though John Jameson is a more stable husband for Mary Jane, she should be with Peter Parker because she loves the danger that he brings to her life.
3. Mary Jane should marry John Jameson because he is nice.
1. The real hero of Spider-Man 2 is Dr. Ock because he does the right thing in the end by stopping being a villain and actually saving the city, which is heroic.
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How to Write Good Introductions
What is the function of an introduction? An introduction
captures your audience's attention. gives background/context on your topic. develops interest in your topic by explaining various positions on your topic. guides your reader to your thesis. ends with a strong thesis.
There are three basic ways to write an introduction: You can write the introduction after you write the body of your essay. You can write the introduction before you write the body of your essay. You can rough out the introduction first and then focus and revise it once you have written your essay. Many people write a rough draft and from that find out what their purpose really is and what they really believe. Then they revise the focus, language, or order of their introduction. This sequence -- of drafting an introduction and then revising and refining it once the body of the paper is sketched out -is very common.*
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This information was courtesy of LEO: Literacy Education Online EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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Comparing Introductions:
Directions: 1. Take out a blank piece of paper and place an MLA Header on it 2. Read both essay introductions 3. Bracket the attention grabber 4. Underline the thesis 5. Decide which one is better and explain why Sample 1: John Lennon’s song ‘Imagine’ was sung by Fox’s new show, ‘Glee.’ In one particular episode, a deaf glee club performed this song. I heard it before when John Lennon sang it: unfortunately I did not care much for it. When I watched this episode while the deaf adolescents were singing it, and soon joined by another glee club, it surprisingly affected me… John Lennon sang it like a professional, but what he did not have was the emotion behind the words. He sang it more staccato than legato. He sang it like it was his job, and nothing more. These singers from Glee sang with powerful emotions. … Sample 2: I strode in front of 400 frenzied eighth graders with my arm slung over my Fender Stratocaster guitar — it actually belonged to my mother — and launched into the first few chords of Nirvana’s ‘Lithium.’ My hair dangled so low over my face that I couldn’t see the crowd in front of me as I shouted ‘yeah, yeah’ in my squeaky teenage voice. I had almost forgotten that less than a year ago I had been a kid whose excitement came from waiting for the next History Channel documentary. It was during the awkward, hormonal summer between seventh and eighth grade when I first heard Nirvana’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit.’ The song shocked my senses — until that point my musical cosmos consisted mainlyof my father’s Beatles CDs
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Attention Grabbers A good Essay Introduction will definitely make use of attention grabbers. In essays, the reader will generally have rather short attention spans. Hence, in longer papers that are 3+ pages you will need to have more compelling and extended attention grabbers in order to capture and maintain the audience’s attention.
Let us look at some features of an effective attention grabber: - Firstly, effective attention grabbers are sometimes unexpected - Secondly, audiences usually have their own worries and troubles on their minds. Does the attention grabber break the preoccupation that is pre-existing in their minds? - Next, does it generate curiosity in the minds of the audience? - Finally, does the attention grabber relevant to the message of the speaker? Does it create a positive relationship. 8 Types of Attention Grabbers: 1. Ask a question – Asking a question challenges the mind of the audience, putting them in a thinking active mode instead of a receiving passive mode. A question is easy to ask and also serves as an effective tool to buy the speaker time to think about the next point. 2. Use an anecdote or story – Everybody loves a good story, so why not tell a good one? This story can be anything in the real world that is related to your topic. 3. Give a definition – This technique is good for speeches at scientific conferences for instance, and helps to clarify ambiguous terms within the speech. 4. Use a quote – A quote, when used appropriately, can easily be used to motivate, inspire or enthrall an audience. 5. Use an analogy – This technique involves likening the topic of subject to a more understandable frame of reference that the audience can understand. It is useful when describing certain features or benefits. For example, you could say; “Finding the correct job ls like finding the correct pair of shoes, you know when you have found a perfect fit.” By using an analogy to relate your focus to a more common image, this will allow the audience to relate to your message more easily. 6. Use humor – It is common knowledge that audiences enjoy funny speeches. However, the trick to a good attention grabber is to use humor that is relevant to the topic. 7. Relate a personal experience – Personal experiences shared under this context must firstly, be interesting. Secondly, it has to be related to your message. The audience must be able to make the link between your story and your message or else what you will be doing is merely to tell the audience a story about yourself 8. Give a demonstration – Conducting a demonstration helps people who like to absorb information visually. It also helps provide variety to your speech and serves as an interesting distraction to a tired audience. Attention grabbers are an important aspect to a successful Introductions. It grabs and holds the attention of the audience allowing you to deliver your message with impact.
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Attention Grabber Challenge Directions: Step 1. Pick one of the essay topics Step 2: Come up write an attention grabber for this topic that uses your team’s assigned Strategy Step 3: Be Prepared to demonstrate it to the class 1. In your team, come up with one 1. Ask a question – 2. Use an anecdote or story – 3. Give a definition – 4. Use a quote – 5. Use an analogy – 6. Use humor – 7. Relate a personal experience – 8. Give a demonstration –
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Introduction: Challenge
Directions: 1. Take out a separate sheet of paper and put the proper MLA header on it 2. With your team read each introduction Bracket the attention grabber & underline the thesis Decide whether the introduction is successful or unsuccessful. Explain why. Sample 1: Now You See Me is like seeing a magician pull a rabbit out of a hat and then showing you how the trick is done, only to learn the bunny's dead. Everything's going reasonably well until the disappointing end. Sample 2: “How did you do that?” This might be the question most frequently asked of magicians, and the answer is rarely forthcoming. The beauty of magic, the appeal and the thrill, is precisely the how. In movies about magic, that question is typically undone by definition, because movies, by definition, cheat. They cut between shots, they conjure special effects, they grant super powers and possibilities to an enterprise that—at its most enchanting and most endearing—is all about non-superness, about ordinary, non-special means to extraordinary, special-seeming effects. Sample 3: French-born turned Hollywood director Louis Leterrier (Clash of the Titans/The Incredible Hulk/The Transporter) gets the magic show off to a good start, but soon the magic fades and the movie can't find a way from disappearing into emptiness. Its mantra is 'the closer you look, the less you see.' The contrived script by Ed Solomon, Boaz Yakin and Edward Ricourt provides a good magic show for the pic's opening sequence or two but then the harebrained screenplay kicks in, and the acting becomes rote and the poorly constructed conclusion leaves us with an unimpressive magical ending.
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How To Write Good Conclusions A Good Conclusion
stress the importance of the thesis statement, give the essay a sense of completeness, and leave a final impression on the reader.
Suggestions for How to Write Conclusions: Answer the question "So What?" Show your readers why this paper was important. Show them that your paper was meaningful and useful. Synthesize, don't summarize Don't simply repeat things that were in your paper. They have read it. Show them how the points you made and the support and examples you used were not random, but fit together. Redirect your readers Give your reader something to think about, perhaps a way to use your paper in the "real" world. If your introduction went from general to specific, make your conclusion go from specific to general. Think globally. Create a new meaning You don't have to give new information to create a new meaning. By demonstrating how your ideas work together,
you can create a new picture. Often the sum of the paper is worth more than its parts.
Strategies: Echoing the introduction: Echoing your introduction can be a good strategy if it is meant to bring the reader full-circle. If you begin by describing a scenario, you can end with the same scenario as proof that your essay was helpful in creating a new understanding. Example
Introduction From the parking lot, I could see the towers of the castle of the Magic Kingdom standing stately against the blue sky. To the right, the tall peak of The Matterhorn rose even higher. From the left, I could hear the jungle sounds of Adventureland. As I entered the gate, Main Street stretched before me with its quaint shops evoking an old-fashioned small town so charming it could never have existed. I was entranced. Disneyland may have been built for children, but it brings out the child in adults.
Conclusion I thought I would spend a few hours at Disneyland, but here I was at 1:00 A.M., closing time, leaving the front gates with the now dark towers of the Magic Kingdom behind me. I could see tired children, toddling along and struggling to keep their eyes open as best they could. Others slept in their parents' arms as we waited for the parking lot tram that would take us to our cars. My forty-year-old feet ached, EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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and I felt a bit sad to think that in a couple of days I would be leaving California, my vacation over, to go back to my desk. But then I smiled to think that for at least a day I felt ten years old again. What did you like about this strategy? Challenging the reader: By issuing a challenge to your readers, you are helping them to redirect the information in the paper, and they may apply it to their own lives.
Example Though serving on a jury is not only a civic responsibility but also an interesting experience, many people still view jury duty as a chore that interrupts their jobs and the routine of their daily lives. However, juries are part of America's attempt to be a free and just society. Thus, jury duty challenges us to be interested and responsible citizens.
Looking to the future: Looking to the future can emphasize the importance of your paper or redirect the readers' thought process. It may help them apply the new information to their lives or see things more globally.
Example Without well-qualified teachers, schools are little more than buildings and equipment. If higher-paying careers continue to attract the best and the brightest students, there will not only be a shortage of teachers, but the teachers available may not have the best qualifications. Our youth will suffer. And when youth suffers, the future suffers.
Posing questions:
Posing questions, either to your readers or in general, may help your readers gain a new perspective on the topic, which they may not have held before reading your conclusion. It may also bring your main ideas together to create a new meaning.
Example Campaign advertisements should help us understand the candidate's qualifications and positions on the issues. Instead, most tell us what a boob or knave the opposing candidate is, or they present general images of the candidate as a family person or God-fearing American. Do such advertisements contribute to creating an informed electorate or a people who choose political leaders the same way they choose soft drinks and soap? *This information was courtesy of LEO: Literacy Education Online
Question: Now that you have read about introductions and conclusions, what questions do you still have? 1. 2.
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Transitions What is the Function of Transitional Words? Single words can signal levels of importance, connections, and the direction of thoughts. For example, after a friend begins a sentence with "I like you very much," would you prefer that the next word be "and" or "however"? The word "and" signals more of the same, hinting that you could anticipate another pleasant compliment. On the other hand, "however" signals a change of thought, so brace yourself for a negative remark. If the next word were "consequently" or "therefore," you could anticipate a positive result or reward for the positive feelings. Such words are transitions or signal words that connect parts of the sentences and lead readers to anticipate a continuation or a change in the writer's thoughts. Transitions also reveal organizational patterns. Patterns of Organization and Their Signal Words: Addition (providing additional examples): furthermore, again, also, further, moreover, besides, likewise, and, indeed, in addition, too, next, first, second
Cause and Effect (showing one element as producing or causing a result or effect): because, for this reason, consequently, hence, as a result, thus, due to, therefore, if, so, since
Concession (acknowledging the merits of the Illustration (explaining using examples): counter argument before reasserting an opinion): that is, for example, to illustrate, for instance, in fact, whereas, granted that, even though, though, yet, specifically, as seen in while, although Comparison (listing similarities among items): in a similar way, similarly, parallels, likewise, in a like manner, also, in the same manner
Contrast (listing differences among items): on the other hand, more than, but, however, conversely, on the contrary, although, nevertheless, still, in contrast, yet, even though
Definition (defining a concept and expanding withDescription (listing characteristics or details examples and restatements): Using vivid language): can be defined, means, for example, like, in short, is, as, like, could be described (using adjectives, specifically adverbs and language that touches on the senses) Narration or Time Order (listing events in order Location or Spatial Order (identifying the of occurrence): whereabouts of objects or people): first, second, finally, after, before, next, later, now, at next to, near, below, above, close by, within, last, until, thereupon, while, during, as, meanwhile, without, beside, around, to the right or left, opposite then, while, immediately Simple Listing (randomly listing items in a series): also, another, several, for example EWRT 211/DE Anza College
Summary (condensing major points): in conclusion, to restate, briefly, to sum up, in short, in a nutshell, in other words, therefore, in summary Leonard 133
Other Transitions paragraph hook. You probably use the paragraph hook often in your own writing without knowing it and see it constantly in your reading without realizing it (as in this sentence, for example). But to take full advantage of its possibilities, you should learn to use the paragraph hook consciously, to direct and control it for your own purposes. Control, remember, is the essence of style, and the handling of transitions is an important part of any writer's style. To see how the paragraph hook differs from the standard transitional device, look first at the example below. Here the transition from one paragraph to the next is accomplished by a standard transition alone-the word b u t : Mark Twain is established in the minds of most Americans as a kindly humorist, a gentle and delightful "funny man." No doubt his photographs have helped promote this image. Everybody is familiar with the Twain face. He looks like every child's ideal grandfather, a dear old white-thatched gentleman who embodies the very spirit of loving-kindness. (Standard transition) But Twain wrote some of the most savage satire ever produced in America.... The standard transition indicates clearly enough that the writer is preparing to take off with a new idea in opposition to the one in the first paragraph. But the transition is far too abrupt. The leap from one idea (how Twain looked) to the next (how he wrote) is simply too great to be handled by a mechanical transition. Observe how much more firmly the paragraphs hang together if the transition is made like this: a dear old white-thatched gentleman who embodies the very spirit of loving-kindness. (Paragraph hook) The loving-kindness begins to look a little doubtful in view of some of his writing. For Twain wrote some of the most savage satire ... Here you see demonstrated the simplest kind of paragraph hook. The last word of the first paragraph is hooked into the first sentence of the second paragraph and used as a point of departure for introducing another idea. This repe-tition hooks the paragraphs together solidly. The hook need not be one word; it can be a phrase. It should not, however, exceed two or three words. Although the last word or phrase of a paragraph frequently serves as the simplest and strongest kind of hook, you can go back farther than this, sometimes to even better effect: a dear old white-thatched gentleman who embodies the very spirit of loving-kindness. (Deeper hook) This dear old white-thatched gentleman happens to be the author of some of the most savage satire ... Generally speaking, the last sentence of a paragraph is the best place to find the hook for your new paragraph, for this sentence is the one freshest in the reader's mind. If you go back much deeper than this, you will usually need a multiple hook, as in this example: No doubt his photographs have helped promote this image.... He looks like ... the very spirit of loving-kindness. (Still deeper: the multiple hook) To accept such an image is to betray greater familiarity with the photographs than with the writing. For Twain wrote some of the most savage satire ... Here both image and photographs are repeated, thus "double hooking" the paragraphs to make up for the greater distance between their first and second appearance. The greater the distance, the more likely you are to need a multiple hook. But no arbitrary rule in this matter is possible. Let your inner ear and your good sense guide you. The important thing is to remember the reader. Make certain that the connection is clear to him. But don't insult him by making the connection too clear-that is, by repeating huge sections or whole sentences
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from the preceding paragraph. One or two key words will do the job. All the examples so far have been simple word or phrase hooks. Another variation of the paragraph hook is the idea hook. The principle is the same; you hook into the preceding paragraph, but instead of repeating an exact word or phrase you refer to the idea just expressed, compressing it into a single phrase: Mark Twain is ........................................................................ ................... the very spirit of loving-kindness. (Idea hook) Such a view of Twain would probably have been a source of high amusement to the author himself. For Twain wrote some of the most savage satire ... or Any resemblance between this popular portrait and the man who reveals himself in his writing is purely imaginary. For Twain wrote ... In neither of the above examples is an exact word or phrase from the first paragraph repeated. But the hook is clearly there; the referential such a view and this popular portrait fasten the paragraphs firmly together. The idea hook can be a great deal more subtle than this, of course. If you examine the work of any accomplished essayist you will find many paragraphs that have no specific word or phrase serving as a link but that are nevertheless unmistakably tied together by meaning. Transitions of this kind require some of the subtlest skills of writing-the ordering of ideas, the use of inference and allusion, the creation of "echo effects," the unobtrusive handling of time and emphasis. All these are skills that derive from an intimate understanding of language-and from experience. Conclusions: Good Transitioning takes time. Meanwhile the simple idea hook illus-trated above can serve you well. By using it you can avoid the danger of overloading your work with either the word hooks or the purely mechanical transitions. Any transitional method, remember, can become annoyingly obvious to a reader if it is overused. So vary your practice, never permit-ting one method of handling transitions to take over the job exclusively. Thanks to http://www.officeinstructor.com/EssayWriting/HandOuts/Transitions/ParagraphTransitions/EssayTransistionsPragraphsHooks .htm for this useful info.
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Transition Challenge Directions: 1. Get into a team 2. Read the following article 3. Circle all transition words 4. Underline all hooking transitions 5. Star any places that need a transition
Dark Topics Shine Brilliantly in Fall's Movie Lineup By Betsy Sharkey Los Angeles Times Posted: 08/30/2013
Lost at sea, lost in space, lost children, lost freedom, lost homeland, lost money, lost identity, lost jobs, lost hope, lost faith, lost lives: This fall, this is film. This is serious. I can't wait. September always brings a change in the temperature of what we see on screen. The Oscar contenders start showing up, the significant films with more to consider than, say, "The Wolverine" or "World War Z." As much popcorn fun as "Wolverine," "War" and the like might be, they don't ask much of us. Not so the fall. But 2013 is coursing with a fierceness that we haven't seen in a while. It ripples through U.S. and international films alike. Even the titles suggest a certain weight: "12 Years a Slave," "Prisoners," "Mandela," "All Is Lost," "Gravity," "Devil's Knot," "Night Moves" and "Dangerous Acts," to name a few in the queue. The shake-up begins in earnest Thursday when the Toronto International Film Festival opens with the world premiere of "The Fifth Estate." Director Bill Condon's dramatic thriller is about that modern-day barbarian at the gate, WikiLeaks' Julian Assange. Roughly 400 barbarians are right behind him in the festival's jam-packed lineup. Most seem intent on crashing through the conventional over the next 10 days. For those who worry I'm suggesting that the movies will be dreary, that couldn't be further from the case. The topics may be dark but the entertainment factor will not dim in the slightest. If anything, films that engage mind, heart and emotions tend to be the most satisfying, the most memorable. It is fitting that we start the season with the story of a divisive antihero who some applaud, others despise. No matter which side of the line you stand on, Assange is someone who has made all of us think — think. Thinking deeper, longer, harder and especially, rethinking, seems to be what filmmakers have in mind at the moment.
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"The Fifth Estate" features Benedict Cumberbatch as the social network renegade who reframed the idea, the implications and the debate over exposing secrets. State secrets. Corporate secrets. Personal secrets. Damaging secrets. Later in the year, Leonardo DiCaprio will surface as a keeper of secrets in "The Wolf of Wall Street," playing a high-rolling stockbroker deep in duplicity. Director Martin Scorsese and DiCaprio usually make menace magnificently together. For the other 99percent, the Occupy Wall Street collective tries its hand at a documentary that lands in theaters later this week: "99%: The Occupy Wall Street Collaborative Film." They make the economic downturn personal. There is a rich stream of films examining other, even starker existential crises. "Gravity" stars Sandra Bullock and George Clooney as engineer and astronaut untethered, their space ship a billion tiny pieces, their life support slipping away. Directed by Alfonso Cuaron, who wrote the script with son Jonas, the exploration is not space but life and why we cling to it so fiercely. What is it like to face the possibility of death that way? "All Is Lost," writer-director J.C. Chandor's latest, with Robert Redford at sea — against the elements, against the odds — wonders too. For the filmmaker, the sea is a long way from his previous "Margin Call," but the stakes are higher. It is a solo voyage for the actor in so many ways, the film's fate hanging on his performance. Tom Hanks as "Captain Phillips" has the survival of his men as his trial. His cargo ship in the clutches of Somali pirates, the spine tingling is in the hands of director Paul Greengrass, who brought such exquisite tension to two "Bourne" outings over the years. The question for Hanks is whether the film will help him out of troubled career waters of late. The story, though, is as much about racial and economic divides as the efforts of one man. The racial divide will be dissected in many ways all season long. "Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom," with Idris Elba as the great South African leader, and "12 Years a Slave," with Chiwetel Ejiofor — remember that name — as a free man whose color costs him everything but his spirit, both premiere at Toronto. A different kind of freedom is at stake in "Omar," the latest from Hany Abu-Assad. The director's treatise on suicide bombers, "Paradise Now," was nominated for a foreign language Oscar in 2006. This dark story of lovers separated by the West Bank and the price of their relationship comes to Toronto with a jury prize from Cannes. Dallas is the epicenter for two provocative dramas that I'll have my eye on at the festival. "Parkland," with Billy Bob Thornton, Paul Giamatti and Zac Efron, will take us inside Parkland Memorial Hospital and the chaos on the day President Kennedy was assassinated. "Dallas Buyers Club" unfolds two decades later in 1986, when AIDS was still a death sentence. Matthew McConaughey's performance is likely to bring an Oscar nomination, and it may be the one that brings him a win. It's not so much the weight the actor lost to play a homophobic man fighting the disease but the weight of the subject matter for McConaughey, who is settling so comfortably into his prime. Tracy Letts' Pulitzer Prize-winning play, "August: Osage County," comes to the big screen with its devilishly divided house and biting satire in incredibly good hands. Directed by John Wells, its cast is a sprawling ensemble of A-listers including Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Juliette Lewis, Ewan McGregor, Dermot Mulroney and the very busy Mr. Cumberbatch. Even the pure comedies have an edge this fall. Jason Bateman does double duty as star and director of a spelling bee gone south in "Bad Words." Jennifer Aniston and Isla Fisher are ex-cons who team up EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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for "Life of Crime." Jay Baruchel will get into "The Art of the Steal." And Jesse Eisenberg is dealing with the ultimate identity thief in "The Double." It's loosely based on a Dostoyevsky novella ... This is fall, this is serious. I can't wait.
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MLA Formatting Guidelines The MLA (Modern Language Association) has specific formatting rules which primarily encompass three areas: page layout, parenthetical citations, and the “Works Cited” page. In general, MLA is most often used in disciplines within Liberal Arts and Humanities.
Page Layout
Sample layout of the first page of your essay:
Peter Parker Leonard English 1A San Jose State University Date Assignment
Parker 1
Title Indent one tab (0.5”) to begin each paragraph. Continue with your body paragraphs and double-space throughout the essay.
Write your last name and page number in the header of every page. Set the page margins to one-inch on each side (top, bottom, left, and right). If you have an older edition of Microsoft Word, you might need to use the “page setup” function in order to set the correct margins. Use 12-point, Times New Roman font and regular double-spacing. The title of your essay should be in regular font and center aligned. Do not use bold or italicized print.
Parenthetical Citations Parenthetical citations are in-text source citations. These citations are required when you use a quote or offer very specific paraphrased information. Citations for quotes of four lines or less include the author’s last name and page number: “Good writing, on the other hand, teaches the learning writer about style, graceful narration, plot development, the creation of believable characters, and truth-telling” (King 341). You can also refer to the author’s last name as you introduce the quote: As King asserts, “Good writing, on the other hand, teaches the learning writer about style, graceful narration, plot development, the creation of believable characters, and truth-telling” (341). Citations for quotes of more than four typed lines also include the author’s last name and page number. However, there are three specific formatting rules for “block quotes”: • Indent the entire quote 1” (two tabs). • Do not use quotation marks to enclose the quote. • Place the period after the text of the quote and before the parenthetical citation. EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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When you paraphrase specific information, you must include a parenthetical citation. To paraphrase is to convey the ideas of a writer or researcher in your own words. If you use three or more consecutive words from a source, you must use quotation marks (since you are no longer paraphrasing). As King explains, good writing provides examples of excellent narration, interesting plot, welldrawn characters, and sophisticated style (341). If you come across a very lengthy quote that you would like to use portions of in your essay, you must use ellipsis points [ . . . ] to indicate an omission within the quote: “In other words, to read a great book for the first time in one’s maturity is an extraordinary pleasure . . . in maturity one appreciates (or ought to appreciate) many more details and levels and meanings” (Calvino 735-6).
Works Cited Page An alphabetized “Works Cited” page is required as the last page of your essay whenever you cite anything in a paper. Titles of books, films, journals, magazines, newspapers, and lengthier works are italicized; titles of essays, short stories, articles, poems, etc. are placed in quotation marks. For every entry, list the publication medium (print, web, film, etc.). The second line and beyond of each entry is indented one tab (0.5”).
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Quotations Writing from sources is a sophisticated skill that includes being able to distinguish when to quote and when to paraphrase and how to integrate direct quotations smoothly into your writing. Whether quoting or paraphrasing, you always need to give your source(s) credit. A Warning on Plagiarism:
To be fair and ethical, you must always acknowledge your debt to the writers of the sources you use. If you don’t, you are guilty of plagiarism, a serious academic offense.
Four different acts are considered plagiarism: (1) failing to cite quotations and borrowed ideas; (2) failing to enclose borrowed language in quotation marks; (3) failing to put summaries and paraphrases in your own words; (4) mixing an author's phrases with your own without citation or quotes. 1. Smoothly integrate direct quotes into sentences of your own Avoid Dropping Quotes: Sometimes writers will make the mistake of simply dropping a quotation into their paragraph without integrating it into a sentence of their own. For example: Dropped quote: A number of journalists have been critical of genetic engineering. “The problem is, no one really knows the long-term effects of such complex genetic manipulation—and the potential dangers to humans and the environment are substantial” (Turner, 21). Why is this so bad? • •
An un-integrated direct quote interrupts the flow of your writing, as the reader must jump abruptly from your words to someone else’s and back again If you’re not integrating direct quotations into your own writing, you’re probably not giving your reader the context they need to understand the quote.
In order to successfully integrate quotations into your writing, you need to introduce or in some way lead into the quotation so that readers know whose words are being quoted or can understand why the quotation is important. For example: Integrated quote: A number of journalists have been critical of genetic engineering. Lisa Turner, in an article for the magazine Better Nutrition, targets the unpredictable nature of this new technology : “The problem is, no one really knows the long-term effects of such complex genetic manipulation—and the potential dangers to humans and the environment are substantial” (21). Provide Contextual Information for the Quote: When connecting the quote into your sentence, consider how to convey the key pieces of information you might want to include so the quote and its source are clear: • • • •
The title of the text the quote comes from The page number in parenthesis (this is required) The speaker of the quote if different from the author (for example, a character speaking in a story) The author's name: generally include the full name in the first reference. Afterwards, refer to authors by last name. If you don't include the name in the sentence, put it in the parenthetical citation. For example:
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Author Named in the sentence: For example: Flora Davis reports that a chimp at the Yerkes Primate Research Center “has combined words into new sentences that she was never taught” (67). Author Not Named in the sentence: If the sentence connecting the quote does not include the author’s name, the author’s last name must appear in parenthesis along with the page number. For example: The novel Monster: The Autobigraphy of an L.A. Gang Member ends with these words of perseverance, "Gangsterism continues. But more importantly, the struggle to eradicate the causes of gangsterism continues. And it is this struggle to which I am dedicated" (Scott 377). Different Methods to Integrate Quotes into Your Sentences: 1) Identify the speaker and context of the quote Example: Dee protests to her mother that her sister does not know the true value of the quilts, “Maggie can’t appreciate these quilts! She’d probably be backward enough to put them to everyday use” (Walker 490). 2) Lead in with your own idea Example: Miss Emily Grierson’s house is a reflection of her being out of sync with the times: “But garages and cotton gins had encroached and obliterated even the august names of that neighborhood; only Miss Emily’s house was left, lifting its stubborn and coquettish decay above the cotton wagons and gasoline pumps—an eyesore among eyesores”(Faulkner 459). 3) Formulas • In (title of source), (author) writes/ argues/ explains/ describes, "quote" (#). Example: In I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou writes, "In Stamps the segregation was so complete that most Black children didn't really absolutely know what whites looked like" (20). • According to (author) in (title), "quote" (#). To avoid monotony, try to vary your formulas. The following models suggest a range of possibilities: In the words of researcher Herbert Terrace, “…” Jason Applegate, Smith’s trainer, points out, “…” “…,” claims linguist Noam Chomsky. Psychologist H.S. Terrace offers an odd argument for this view, “…” Also, by choosing an appropriate verb, you can make your stance clear: acknowledges adds admits agrees argues asserts believes characterizes claims comments compares
condemns confirms contends contrasts criticizes declares defends demonstrates denies describes disputes
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distinguishes emphasizes endorses explains grants identifies illustrates implies insists justifies notes
observes objects points out reasons refutes rejects reports responds shows suggests supports
thinks writes wonders
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Exercise: For each quote below, create a sentence that smoothly integrates the quote. Try a few different methods: Method #1: Identify the speaker and context of the quote: Quote: "On this island, you walk too far and people speak a different language. Their own words reveal who belongs on what side" Background information: From The Farming of Bones by Edwidge Danticat, the speaker is Senora Valencia, page 304. Senora Valencia is referring to the island of Hispanola, which the countries of Haiti and the Dominican Republic share. She is speaking during the times that the dictator Trujillo had many Haitians murdered in and exiled from the Dominican Republic Quote integrated into a sentence:
Method #2: Lead in with your own idea: Quote: "They did not have the tanates to go up north and break through the wall of electric fences and enter the land of plenty, the U.S. of A., a land so rich that what garbage they throw away in one day could feed entire pueblos." Background information: From Macho! By Victor Villasenor, page 31. The book tells the story of young man named Roberto from Michoacan who risks himself to go north to California to work as an illegal alien picking fruit in California. Quote integrated into a sentence:
Method #3: Formula (try using a good and dynamic verb): Quote: "Racial targeting and abuse by police is costly. U.S. taxpayers have paid tens of millions of dollars in police brutality lawsuits. Between 1992 and 1993, Los Angeles county alone paid more than $30 million to citizens victimized by police brutality." Background information: From The Color of Crime by Katheryn K. Russell, page 45 who writes about the ways in which African-Americans are misrepresented by the media and mistreated within the criminal system. Quote integrated into a sentence:
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3. Properly Punctuate Sentences that Integrate Quotations:
1.
Use quotations marks at the beginning and end of any word, phrase, line, or passage you quote.
“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,” wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson. 2.
Commas and periods go inside quotations marks. After the professor stood up quietly and said, "I do not expect to continue at this position any longer," the other professors at the meeting stared at her in amazement.
3. Periods go outside of parenthetical citations. Malcolm X asserted, “Most students are potential revolutionaries…when you have an illegal, immoral, and unjust situation, it should be changed" (54). 4. Semi-colons, colons, and dashes go outside quotation marks. Baker focuses on two choices that cause young women "to be unclear about their goals": their interest in family life and their desire for professional success. 4. Question marks and exclamation points go: inside quotation marks, if they are part of the original quotation, but outside, if they are part of the sentence. It was not all clear however, after the president exclaimed, “That is not an acceptable alternative!” Did you ever hear of someone suggesting that we remove all windmills “super fast or immediately, which ever comes first”? 5. Use square brackets whenever you need to substitute or add words to a quotation. You can change individual words and then put them in brackets [ ] so that the quote fits your sentence grammatically. For example: Sonny would “as soon as he came in from school, or wherever he had been when he was suppose to be at school [go] straight to that piano and [stay] there until suppertime” (Baldwin 275). 6.
Single quotation marks are placed inside regular quotation marks when you have a quote within a quote.
Professor Stevens claimed that he "always asks his students Professor Begley's question about 'the meaning of a college education’ in order to start off the discussion.” 7. Sometimes you will want to leave out material in the middle of a passage, quoting the most important words. When you do this, use an ellipsis (...). Use three dots if the omitted passage does not contain a period and four dots if it does. Fadiman observes that the doctors at MCMC “could hardly be expected to ‘respect’ their patients’ system of health beliefs…since the medical schools they attended never informed them that diseases are caused by fugitive souls and cured by jugulated chickens” (61). 8. If you decide to use a quotation of more than three lines, set it off from the rest of your essay by indenting about ten spaces from either side and single-spacing the quotation. You do not need to put quotation marks around this block quotation, unless it is actual dialogue.
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In the essay "A Room Of One's Own," Woolf elaborates her argument for psychological androgyny: And I went on amateurishly to sketch a plan of the soul so that in each of us two powers preside, one male, one female. . . . The normal and comfortable state of being is that when the two live in harmony together, spiritually cooperating. (Woolf 98) This passage resonates distinctly with Freud's own theories on... 9. In deciding whether to quote or underline text titles, use the following guidelines: Use quotation marks (“ ”) around the titles of shorter works such as short stories, essays, articles, poems, chapter names, song names. SHORT STORY: Richard Christian Matheson's "Red" ESSAY: "A Tale of Two Sitcoms" by Steven D. Stark ARTICLE: "Generation Next" by Chris Smith POEM : Lois-Ann Yamanaka's "Haupu Mountain" CHAPTER NAME: "Let's Go Mexico!" from How to Be a Chicana Role Model by Michele Serros SONG: "Livin' La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin
Italicize/Underline or italicize the titles of longer works such as books, novels, periodicals, newspapers, plays, movies, TV series, and album names. BOOK: NOVEL: PERIODICAL: NEWSPAPER: PLAY: MOVIE: TV SERIES: ALBUM:
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Errors & Expectations by Mina Shaughnessy Island of the Sequined Love Nun by Christopher Moore Newsweek The San Francisco Bay Guardian Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead by Tom Stoppard Chicken Run Buffy the Vampire Slayer Less Than Jake's Losing Streak
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Quote Sandwiches: The Secret to Using Direct Quotes We use direct quotes for a number of reasons: To avoid plagiarism – using other people’s words without giving them credit To support and illustrate our claims To increase our credibility To validate all our points Direct quotes do not substitute for your ideas; they enhance them!
INTIGRATING QUOTES INTO YOUR WRITING WITH A QUOTE SANDWICH: 1. TOP BREAD/The LEAD-IN introduces or leads into the quotation so that the readers know whose words are being quoted and why the quotation is important.
2. THE MEAT/QUOTE AND CITATION: “to be or not be that is the question” (Shakespeare 22). 3. BOTTOM BREAD/The EXPLANTAION: After every quote, you must comment on the quotation so that the reader understands its connection to the point you are making in your topic sentence.
Quote Sandwich Recipe: LEAD-IN + QUOTE + CITATION + PERIOD + 1-3 sentences analyzing the quote’s importance. Example: In “Meanings of Community” Thomas Bender asserts, “The sense of self and community may be hard to distinguish”(1). What Bender means is that individuals no longer see themselves as a single person, but, instead, an individual takes on the identity of the people they hang around.
Now it’s your turn: Directions: For each of the quotes below, use the quote sandwich to complete the quote. 1. Craig Sivley in Jasper Jones: “Batman doesn't have any superpowers. He's not superhuman. He's not super. So therefore he can't be a superhero.” (Sivley 1)
2. Green Lantern in Juctice League Vol. 1: "Hold on a second... You're not just some guy in a bat costume, are you? Are you freaking kidding me?!” (Johns 1)
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Verbs of Speech
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Identifying Effective or Ineffective Quote Sandwiches Directions: In your group, discuss whether each quote effectively or ineffectively uses the quote formula. Circle your answer. Write down one reason why you made that choice. 1. According to Henry Miller, “Writing, like life itself, is a voyage of self-discovery”(437). What Miller means is that every time we sit down to write we discover something new about ourselves and our perception of the world. Effective or Ineffective: Why?
2. Grace says, “Don’t be afraid your life will end; be afraid your life will never begin”(Hansen 436). Effective or Ineffective:
3. This quote by Korita Kent asserts, “Flowers grow out of dark moments”(436). She must have been a gardener. Effective or Ineffective:
4. “A professional writer,” Richard Bach asserts, “is an amateur who didn’t quit”(437). Bach’s advice should be in the back of every writing student’s head because it will inspire them to keep trying even when they want to give up. Effective or Ineffective:
5. Margaret Atwood characterizes the pain of a failed marriage by lamenting, “A divorce is like an amputation; you survive, but there’s less of you”(434). Atwood is correct because no matter how civil people try to be in a divorce, they always end up losing a part of themselves. Effective or Ineffective:
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Templates for the bottom part of a Quote Sandwich: First Layer Explanation: Summary 1. Basically, _______________________ is saying____________________________________ (Speaker’s Last Name)
( 2-3 sentences explaining how the quote supports your point)
2. In making this comment, ___________________ argues that_____________________________ Speaker’s Last Name
explain how the quote supports your point
3. The essence of ______________________ argument is that ___________________________________________ Speaker’s Last Name
explain how the quote supports your point
Next Layer Explanation: Analysis 1. ________________________ is right because experience shows ___________________________________ (Author’s last name)
(Add your personal experience)
2. ______________________ claim that________________________ rests upon the questionable (Author’s Last Name) (restate his/her claim) assumption______________________________ (explain fallacy in quote) 3.
___________________ is mistaken because he/she overlooks _________________________________________________ (Author’s Last Name) (state what his/her claim overlooked)
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ACADEMIC BODY PARAGRAPHS
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Body Paragraph Design Developed paragraphs are the essential substance of all college writing. Paragraphs serve as the body of a paper. In this class, you will learn how to write developed paragraphs. Here is what developed paragraphs need:
1. POINT = TOPIC SENTENCE 2. INFO = SUPPORT EXAMPLES 3. EXPLANATION = CONCLUSION POINT Every paragraph needs only ONE main idea. Effective college paragraphs are FOCUSED on the same idea the whole way through the paragraph. Because it’s not necessarily natural for our brains to communicate ideas in a straightforward way, writers must work to maintain FOCUS by keeping reminding themselves of the POINT and REVISING* when focus is lost. It’s easy to lose focus and all writers do, that’s why REVISION* is so important.
INFORMATION EXAMPLES are the meat of your paragraph. The most important thing about EXAMPLES is for them to be specific. Remember, specific is terrific! EXAMPLES can come from your own experiences, your observations, others’ experiences, the internet, film/television, magazines, books. Remember, only use your own ideas for examples or be sure to use “QUOTATION MARKS” if the ideas/words belong to someone else. EXPLANATION After your write EXAMPLES, it’s important to explain fully how the EXAMPLES develop the POINT. Think of someone saying “so what?” to the example you give, meaning why is this example important? How does this example connect to the POINT? Your explanation will be the written answer to those questions. Thinking about and then explaining your examples is how you develop ideas critically. Oftentimes ideas make sense in our head, but as writers we need to make the ideas in our head translate to the words on the page.
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EWRT 211 PIE Paragraph Structure for Personal Examples P = Point
What is the point of this paragraph? The Point, A.K.A. the topic sentence, is the argument that you will prove for the paragraph. The Point is the claim or assertion (or opinion) you will make in your paragraph and prove to your audience. Remember, each paragraph should only have one Point.
I = Information #1
Where is the Point supported with specific information? The information consists of supporting material. Consider using a variety of kinds of Information to support your point, like the following: E = Experts*
statements of people who know about the topic
D = Descriptive Details
color, shape, size, smell, taste, sound or feel of something
*One technique for using Experts in your Information is to cite experts by quoting them using a Personal Example Sandwich. Example Sandwich Bread #1
Thoroughly introduce the quote, speaker, context, and why you are using it.
Meat
The example with lots of descriptive details. (Meat = I in PIE)
Bread #2 (mini-E)
Explain what the example means in your own words, and how you interpret the details of the example. Then, explain how the example supports the Point and why you chose this quote instead of others. (Bread #2 = E in PIE.)
E = Explanation Where the writer elaborates, evaluates, and/or explain why or how this Information, connects to the Point and what this information means? Remember to thoroughly explain how the examples work together to prove your Point. Explain all your thinking fully.
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EWRT 200/211 PIE Paragraph Structure with Quote Sandwiches P = Point
What is the point of this paragraph? The Point, A.K.A. the topic sentence, is the argument that you will prove for the paragraph. The Point is the claim or assertion (or opinion) you will make in your paragraph and prove to your audience. Remember, each paragraph should only have one Point.
Information #2: *One technique for using Experts in your Illustration is to cite experts by quoting them using a Quote Sandwich. Quote Sandwich Bread #1
Thoroughly introduce the example, speaker, context, and why you are using it.
Meat
Quote + Citation. (Meat = I in PIE)
Bread #2 (mini-E)
Explain what the quote means in your own words, and how you interpret the details of the quote. Then, explain how the quote supports the Point and why you chose this quote instead of others. (Bread #2 = E in PIE.)
E = Explanation Where the writer elaborates, evaluates, and/or explain why or how this Information, connects to the Point and what this information means? Remember to thoroughly explain how the examples work together to prove your Point. Explain all your thinking fully.
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PIE Paragraph Structure for Research Papers P = Point
What is the point of this paragraph? The Point, A.K.A. the topic sentence, is the argument that you will prove for the paragraph. The Point is the claim or assertion (or opinion) you will make in your paragraph and prove to your audience. Remember, each paragraph should only have one Point.
I = Information #1
Where is the Point supported with specific information? The information consists of supporting material. Consider using a variety of kinds of Information to support your point, like the following: E = Experts*
statements of people who know about the topic
D = Descriptive Details
color, shape, size, smell, taste, sound or feel of something
*One technique for using Experts in your Information is to cite experts by quoting them using a Quote Sandwich. Quote Sandwich Bread #1
Thoroughly introduce the quote, speaker, context, and why you are using it.
Meat
The quote. (Meat = I in PIE)
Bread #2 (mini-E)
Explain what the quote means in your own words, and how you interpret the details of the quote. Then, explain how the quote supports the Point and why you chose this quote instead of others. (Bread #2 = E in PIE.)
Information #2: *One technique for using Experts in your Illustration is to cite experts by quoting them using a Quote Sandwich. Quote Sandwich Bread #1
Thoroughly introduce the quote, speaker, context, and why you are using it.
Meat
The quote. (Meat = I in PIE)
Bread #2 (mini-E)
Explain what the quote means in your own words, and how you interpret the details of the quote. Then, explain how the quote supports the Point and why you chose this quote instead of others. (Bread #2 = E in PIE.)
E = Explanation Where the writer elaborates, evaluates, and/or explain why or how this Information, connects to the Point and what this information means? Remember to thoroughly explain how the examples work together to prove your Point. Explain all your thinking fully.
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A Definition Paragraph Argument To write a definition paragraph, you’ll need to define a word/term that: 1.
has a complex meaning
2.
is disputable (could mean different things to different people)
It wouldn't be wise to choose a word like "cat" for a definition essay. The word, "cat" has a pretty simple meaning, so we'll have trouble writing an entire essay about it. Similarly, not many people disagree over the definition of the word "cat," which means our definition will be short and ordinary. What about choosing to define the word, “family”? Let’s check it out! Does it have a complex meaning? Yes, I could discuss the different types of families that exist in my community. Is the word disputable? Yes, I could explain that even though the other women on my sports team aren't blood relatives, they are a kind of family. Optional: Could I discuss the word's origin in a meaningful way? Yes, look up the word’s origin in the Oxford English Dictionary for additional essay ideas!
P = Point
What is the term you are defining? The Point, A.K.A. the topic sentence, is the argument for your definition of the term that you will prove for the paragraph. Remember, each paragraph should only have one Point so you can only have one definition.
Information #2: *One technique for using Experts in your Illustration is to cite experts by quoting them using a Quote Sandwich. Quote Sandwich Bread #1
Thoroughly introduce the example, speaker, context, and why you are using it.
Meat
Quote (a definition of the term) + Citation. (Meat = I in PIE)
Bread #2 (mini-E)
Explain why you chose this definition instead of other and how you interpret the details of the quote. Then, explain how the quote supports the Point and why you chose this quote instead of others. (Bread #2 = E in PIE.)
E = Explanation Where the writer elaborates, evaluates, and/or explain why or how this Information, connects to the Point and what this information means? Remember to thoroughly explain how the examples work together to prove your Point. Explain all your thinking fully.
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Writing Process: Pre-Writing
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The Steps of Pre-Writing
Ways to start the ideas flowing:
Brainstorm. Gather as many good and bad ideas, suggestions, examples, sentences, false starts, etc. as you can. Perhaps some friends can join in. Jot down everything that comes to mind, including material you are sure you will throw out. Be ready to keep adding to the list at odd moments as ideas continue to come to mind.
Talk to your audience, or pretend that you are being interviewed by someone — or by several people, if possible (to give yourself the opportunity of considering a subject from several different points of view). What questions would the other person ask? You might also try to teach the subject to a group or class.
See if you can find a fresh analogy that opens up a new set of ideas. Build your analogy by using the word like. For example, if you are writing about violence on television, is that violence like clowns fighting in a carnival act (that is, we know that no one is really getting hurt)?
Take a rest and let it all percolate.
Summarize your whole idea.
Tell it to someone in three or four sentences.
Diagram your major points somehow.
Make a tree, outline, or whatever helps you to see a schematic representation of what you have. You may discover the need for more material in some places. Write a first draft.
Then, if possible, put it away. Later, read it aloud or to yourself as if you were someone else. Watch especially for the need to clarify or add more information.
You may find yourself jumping back and forth among these various strategies.
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Prewriting: Clustering by Melanie Dawson & Joe Essid Clustering is a type of prewriting that allows you to explore many ideas as soon as they occur to you. Like brainstorming or free associating, clustering allows you to begin without clear ideas. To begin to cluster, choose a word that is central to your assignment. For example, if you were writing a paper about the value of a college education, you might choose the word "expectations" and write that word in the middle of your sheet of paper. Circle "expectations," then write words all around it--words that occur to you as you think of "expectations." Write down all words that you associate with "expectations," words that at first may seem to be random. Write quickly, circling each word, grouping words around your the central word. Connect your new words to previous ones with lines; when you feel you have exhausted a particular avenue of associations, go back to your central word and begin again. For example, "expectations" might lead you to consider "the social aspects of college," which may lead you to consider "career networking." You may then find yourself writing down words that compare the types of jobs you might get through career networking. You may end up asking yourself questions such as "What sorts of jobs do I want? Not want?" Have fun with this exercise; even silly questions can open avenues to explore, such as "What if I ended up waiting tables at Buddy's?" "Would I rather be a lion-tamer or an accountant?" "What about my brilliant career as a stand-up comedian?"
Some words will take you nowhere; with other words you may discover that you have many related words to write. Random associations eventually become patterns of logic as you look over your work. After looking over the clustering exercise above, y exciting career as a performer of some type, rather than a job in the service sector or behind a desk. Now your sample paper about the value of a college education has some focus: how you expect college to lead to an interesting career that involves creativity, skill, and performance. You might then want to return to the phrase "Job Skills" and develop that part of your cluster, noting the skills that you'd need to reach your ideal career. Clustering does not take the place of a linear, traditional outline; but, as the example shows, it allows you to explore ideas before committing them to a particular order.
Example:
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Brainstorming Technique What follows are great ideas on how to brainstorm—ideas from professional writers, novice writers, people who would rather avoid writing, and people who spend a lot of time brainstorming about…well, how to brainstorm. Try out several of these options and challenge yourself to vary the techniques you rely on; some techniques might suit a particular writer, academic discipline, or assignment better than others. If the technique you try first doesn't seem to help you, move right along and try some others.
Example: Topic: Success • Money • Power • Status • People looking up to you • People hating you • People loving you • The Donald • My mom • A college degree • A car I own • Being able to choose the job I work at • Owning a house • Having a lot of savings • Being happy
Practice: Topic:
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Freewriting
When you freewrite, you let your thoughts flow as they will, putting pen to paper and writing down whatever comes into your mind. You don't judge the quality of what you write and you don't worry about style or any surface-level issues, like spelling, grammar, or punctuation. If you can't think of what to say, you write that down—really. The advantage of this technique is that you free up your internal critic and allow yourself to write things you might not write if you were being too self-conscious. When you freewrite you can set a time limit ("I'll write for 15 minutes!") and even use a kitchen timer or alarm clock or you can set a space limit ("I'll write until I fill four full notebook pages, no matter what tries to interrupt me!") and just write until you reach that goal. You might do this on the computer or on paper, and you can even try it with your eyes shut or the monitor off, which encourages speed and freedom of thought. The crucial point is that you keep on writing even if you believe you are saying nothing. Word must follow word, no matter the relevance. Your freewriting might even look like this: "This paper is supposed to be on the politics of tobacco production but even though I went to all the lectures and read the book I can't think of what to say and I've felt this way for four minutes now and I have 11 minutes left and I wonder if I'll keep thinking nothing during every minute but I'm not sure if it matters that I am babbling and I don't know what else to say about this topic and it is rainy today and I never noticed the number of cracks in that wall before and those cracks remind me of the walls in my grandfather's study and he smoked and he farmed and I wonder why he didn't farm tobacco..." When you're done with your set number of minutes or have reached your page goal, read back over the text. Yes, there will be a lot of filler and unusable thoughts but there also will be little gems, discoveries, and insights. When you find these gems, highlight them or cut and paste them into your draft or onto an "ideas" sheet so you can use them in your paper. Even if you don't find any diamonds in there, you will have either quieted some of the noisy chaos or greased the writing gears so that you can now face the assigned paper topic.
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Cubing
Cubing enables you to consider your topic from six different directions; just as a cube is six-sided, your cubing brainstorming will result in six "sides" or approaches to the topic. Take a sheet of paper, consider your topic, and respond to these six commands. 1. Describe it. 2. Compare it. 3. Associate it. 4. Analyze it. 5. Apply it. 6. Argue for and against it. Look over what you've written. Do any of the responses suggest anything new about your topic? What interactions do you notice among the "sides"? That is, do you see patterns repeating, or a theme emerging that you could use to approach the topic or draft a thesis? Does one side seem particularly fruitful in getting your brain moving? Could that one side help you draft your thesis statement? Use this technique in a way that serves your topic. It should, at least, give you a broader awareness of the topic's complexities, if not a sharper focus on what you will do with it.
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Journalistic Questions
In this technique you would use the "big six" questions that journalists rely on to thoroughly research a story. The six are: • • • • • •
Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?
Write each question word on a sheet of paper, leaving space between them. Then, write out some sentences or phrases in answer, as they fit your particular topic. You might also answer into a tape recorder if you'd rather talk out your ideas. Now look over your batch of responses. Do you see that you have more to say about one or two of the questions? Or, are your answers for each question pretty well balanced in depth and content? Was there one question that you had absolutely no answer for? How might this awareness help you to decide how to frame your thesis claim or to organize your paper? Or, how might it reveal what you must work on further, doing library research or interviews or further note-taking?
For example, if your answers reveal that you know a lot more about "where" and "why" something happened than you know about "what" and "when," how could you use this lack of balance to direct your research or to shape your paper? How might you organize your paper so that it emphasizes the known versus the unknown aspects of evidence in the field of study? What else might you do with your results?
Practice: Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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Targeting Your Audience
Think about the parts of communication involved in any writing or speaking event act: purpose and audience. What is your purpose? What are you trying to do? What verb captures your intent? Are you trying to inform? Convince? Describe? Each purpose will lead you to a different set of information and help you shape material to include and exclude in a draft. Write about why you are writing this draft in this form.
Who is your audience? Who are you communicating with beyond the grader? What does that audience need to know? What do they already know? What information does that audience need first, second, third? Write about who you are writing to and what they need.
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Practice:
What do they look like:
What do they know about your topic
What info do they need to know
What biases do they have?
What are five things you can use to grab their attention?
What is Your Purpose With This Audience?:
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Writing Process: Revision Strategies
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The Steps of the Revision Process
An important part of the writing process is revision, especially as it differs from editing. Writers can learn to differentiate the need to work first on revision in terms of ideas and structure first and later work on editing in terms of grammar, spelling, and proofreading. Very often the grammar and style problems that surface in a student’s draft are related to confusion over ideas and development. Once the problems with ideas and structure are overcome, problems in grammar and style often decrease on their own. For our purposes here, therefore, revision is considered the step whereby Writers reconsider their ideas and essay structure and work out problems in development and coherence. Many Writers are simply so afraid of the writing process that they spend a large amount of time revising as they write rather than simply getting as many ideas as possible on paper and handling revision later. Instead of writing as much as possible, some Writers resist waiting to revise and instead just try to get the whole experience over as soon as possible. It’s important, however, for Writers to remember that first drafts are not final drafts and that what they write first can then be revised and fine-tuned. Most experienced writers know that writing IS revision. Encourage Writers to write as much as they can for a first “discovery” draft, as quickly as they can, without spending time doing extensive revision. Once the first draft is in place, they can turn to revision, and the best place to start is with the big picture and then narrow the process. Here are some suggested stages for the revision process.
STEP ONE: THE BIG PICTURE 1. Look at the first draft in terms of larger, abstract qualities: 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
is the original purpose of the writing fulfilled? does the writing cover the required material? has the writing addressed the specific audience? does the overall structure seem sensible in terms of your intentions? is your sense of authority over the topic clear?
STEP TWO: FOCUS ON DEVELOPMENT 1. does the main idea of the paper have enough supporting material? 2. does the supporting material relate logically to the main idea? STEP THREE: FOCUS ON STRUCTURE 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
is there a controlling idea that can be traced through the writing? does your lead into the paper create interest and focus? do individual paragraphs link to the controlling idea? do individual paragraphs have clear topic sentences? does the ending provide a sense of wrapping up ideas?
STEP FOUR: FOCUS ON SENTENCE STRUCTURE 1. 2. 3. 4.
are sentences clear? does the word order in sentences seem logical? are verbs usually in the active voice? does word choice seem sensible for the purpose and audience? Courtesy of: http://www.hws.edu/academics/ctl/writes_revision.aspx
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Revising for Effective Unity
Before peer editing each other’s paragraphs or essays for unity, please practice reviewing some sample paragraphs for unity. Directions: Step 1: Read the paragraph with your partner Step 2: Underline the Point in the paragraph. Step 3 Decide if the paragraph is unified or not unified Step 4: Explain why the paragraph is unified or not unified Step 5: Highlight or underline any sentences that are not unified
Paragraph #1: (1) Recently, we’ve been discussing a few sociological points that can answer these questions, and one term that comes to mind is segregation. (2) Segregation was the key ingredient at James Logan High school that triggered the unfairness of its students because they separated themselves into racial, gender, and socioeconomic crews that refused to mix. (3) James Logan High is a semi-large school built in a large urban city. (4) It has attracted many cultures and races to attend that school. (5) As the school year goes by, one thing remains the same: segregation within the students. (6) If this is a continuous problem, then why hasn’t our society attempted to get rid of it? (7) According to Jonathan Kozol, segregation can be described as “parents or school officials in these [areas] avoid integration as an option” (44). (8) Given this idea, there is an assumption that there is a hierarchical social structure of inequality in our school system that justifies the segregation in the school. (9) From the various reading we’ve studied, I have learned that there is one common theme throughout. (10) People everywhere care about our children’s future; however, there hasn’t been any fairness in our education and it’s time for a change. (11) The influence of segregation at James Logan High school creates class and cultural identity amongst its students, which attracts teachers to try to lower the state of segregation. Unified / Not Unified Why?
Paragraph #2: (1) One inequality is cultural capital, which is basically everything about a person that puts them in their place in society showing how educational achievement derives from differing influences. (2) Another inequality is student resistance, which is expressed when students’ behaviors go against the school system. (3) Lastly, there is the unfair system called tracking. (4) Tracking is the division of students into separate classes for high-average and low-achievers. (5) We have learned these through the readings: “Social Reproduction in Theoretical Perspective,” by Jay Macleod, from Ain’t No Makin’ It and “Tracking,” by Jeannie Oakes. (6) These readings were very interesting. EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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Unified / Not Unified Why
Unity in Writing Definition of Unity: • The state or fact of being united or combined into one or all parts of a group fitting together
Unity in Writing: • For an essay, when all the paragraphs in your essay come together to support your thesis • For a PIE paragraph, Unity happens when all your sentences come together to support your point.
How does knowing this help your writing? • Do you ever find your paragraphs getting off topic? • If you do, revising for unity in your writing will help you fix your essay before you get a bad grade
Revision for Unity on an Essay Level: Step 1: Read your thesis carefully Step 2: Read each point and see if it clearly connects to the thesis Step 3: Read the explanation of each paragraph and decide if it clearly supports the thesis
Revision for Unity on a PIE Paragraph Level Read the Point of your body paragraph Read each piece of Info and see if each sentence clearly connects to the Point Read the Explanation and see if each sentence clearly explains how you proved your Point
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Peer Review Communication: Problems and Solutions Directions: Step 1: Pair up with a partner(s) and decide who will be the recorder, the person who writes down your answers, and who will be the reporter, the person who reports your findings to the class. Step 2: Read the situation assigned to your group Step 3: Identify what problems might occur for your situation and write them in the problems section. Step 4: As a group, brainstorm two specific ways of solving the communication problem(s) described and write them in the solutions area. Step 5: Report your findings to the class. Situation One: In peer review, Juan and Rosa, your partners, only praise your work. They always say nice things, complimenting you on what you write. Because of this feedback, you don’t do much revising of your essay and end up getting a C- because your work, according to your teacher, “lacks detail, doesn’t address the assigned topic, and has many confusing spots.” You know you should do more yourself, but you also think perhaps your peer response partners aren’t being honest with you. You want more substantial feedback from them. What would you say to get more direct, constructive feedback from them to help you revise more effectively (and probably get a better grade)? Situation Two: In peer review, Shawna, a member of your group, gives you direct, honest feedback, but you end up feeling stung by her abrupt, forceful style of talking. She says things like, “You have a lousy main idea—where’s the insight?” or, “This part doesn’t make any sense; it sounds childish.” How could Shawna change her way of talking so that she stays truthful to herself but doesn’t hurt others? Situation Three: In peer review, Rajeev feels that his fellow Writers don’t know more about writing than he does. He feels that if they are too uninformed or are not good writers, then they can’t help him with his essay. What could you say to Rajeev to make him see that peer review is still a useful activity? Situation Four: In peer review, your partners, Judy and Raymond, are more interested in talking about Facebook and how many friends they have than in reading each other’s papers. You are worried about not doing well because you aren’t getting any feedback. How do you respond so that your group takes peer review seriously and you get the feedback you want?
Problem(s)
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Tutoring Sheets
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Writing Center Tutorial Session Name: _______________________________________________ English __________ Assignment Topic: ___________________________ Assignment Title: _______________________
Directions: Answer question #1 on this sheet before going to the Writing Center. Then, after your tutorial session, answer questions 2 & 3 and have your tutor sign and date the sheet. Don’t forget to take the assignment sheet/handout with you to your tutorial session!! 1. What stage of the drafting process are you currently working on? (For example: “Prewriting,” “Drafting,” “Revising,” “Editing,” etc.)
In the space below, please write the specific area of the assignment you would like to discuss with your writing tutor:
2. What specific recommendations did your tutor make about the above area?
3. Based on your tutor’s recommendations, what will you work on next in your assignment? (Be as detailed as possible to help you remember later.)
Tutor’s Printed Name: _________________________________________ Date: ______________ Tutor’s Signature:__________________________________________________________________ (By signing, you’re verifying that the above information accurately reflects your tutorial session)
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Writing Center Tutorial Session Name: _______________________________________________ English __________ Assignment Topic: ___________________________ Assignment Title: _______________________
Directions: Answer question #1 on this sheet before going to the Writing Center. Then, after your tutorial session, answer questions 2 & 3 and have your tutor sign and date the sheet. Don’t forget to take the assignment sheet/handout with you to your tutorial session!! 1. What stage of the drafting process are you currently working on? (For example: “Prewriting,” “Drafting,” “Revising,” “Editing,” etc.)
In the space below, please write the specific area of the assignment you would like to discuss with your writing tutor:
2. What specific recommendations did your tutor make about the above area?
3. Based on your tutor’s recommendations, what will you work on next in your assignment? (Be as detailed as possible to help you remember later.)
Tutor’s Printed Name: _________________________________________ Date: ______________ Tutor’s Signature:__________________________________________________________________ (By signing, you’re verifying that the above information accurately reflects your tutorial session)
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Writing Center Tutorial Session Name: _______________________________________________ English __________ Assignment Topic: ___________________________ Assignment Title: _______________________
Directions: Answer question #1 on this sheet before going to the Writing Center. Then, after your tutorial session, answer questions 2 & 3 and have your tutor sign and date the sheet. Don’t forget to take the assignment sheet/handout with you to your tutorial session!! 1. What stage of the drafting process are you currently working on? (For example: “Prewriting,” “Drafting,” “Revising,” “Editing,” etc.)
In the space below, please write the specific area of the assignment you would like to discuss with your writing tutor:
2. What specific recommendations did your tutor make about the above area?
3. Based on your tutor’s recommendations, what will you work on next in your assignment? (Be as detailed as possible to help you remember later.)
Tutor’s Printed Name: _________________________________________ Date: ______________ Tutor’s Signature:__________________________________________________________________ (By signing, you’re verifying that the above information accurately reflects your tutorial session)
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Writing Center Tutorial Session Name: _______________________________________________ English __________ Assignment Topic: ___________________________ Assignment Title: _______________________
Directions: Answer question #1 on this sheet before going to the Writing Center. Then, after your tutorial session, answer questions 2 & 3 and have your tutor sign and date the sheet. Don’t forget to take the assignment sheet/handout with you to your tutorial session!! 1. What stage of the drafting process are you currently working on? (For example: “Prewriting,” “Drafting,” “Revising,” “Editing,” etc.)
In the space below, please write the specific area of the assignment you would like to discuss with your writing tutor:
2. What specific recommendations did your tutor make about the above area?
3. Based on your tutor’s recommendations, what will you work on next in your assignment? (Be as detailed as possible to help you remember later.)
Tutor’s Printed Name: _________________________________________ Date: ______________ Tutor’s Signature:__________________________________________________________________ (By signing, you’re verifying that the above information accurately reflects your tutorial session)
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Writing Center Tutorial Session Name: _______________________________________________ English __________ Assignment Topic: ___________________________ Assignment Title: _______________________
Directions: Answer question #1 on this sheet before going to the Writing Center. Then, after your tutorial session, answer questions 2 & 3 and have your tutor sign and date the sheet. Don’t forget to take the assignment sheet/handout with you to your tutorial session!! 1. What stage of the drafting process are you currently working on? (For example: “Prewriting,” “Drafting,” “Revising,” “Editing,” etc.)
In the space below, please write the specific area of the assignment you would like to discuss with your writing tutor:
2. What specific recommendations did your tutor make about the above area?
3. Based on your tutor’s recommendations, what will you work on next in your assignment? (Be as detailed as possible to help you remember later.)
Tutor’s Printed Name: _________________________________________ Date: ______________ Tutor’s Signature:__________________________________________________________________ (By signing, you’re verifying that the above information accurately reflects your tutorial session)
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Writing Center Tutorial Session Name: _______________________________________________ English __________ Assignment Topic: ___________________________ Assignment Title: _______________________
Directions: Answer question #1 on this sheet before going to the Writing Center. Then, after your tutorial session, answer questions 2 & 3 and have your tutor sign and date the sheet. Don’t forget to take the assignment sheet/handout with you to your tutorial session!! 1. What stage of the drafting process are you currently working on? (For example: “Prewriting,” “Drafting,” “Revising,” “Editing,” etc.)
In the space below, please write the specific area of the assignment you would like to discuss with your writing tutor:
2. What specific recommendations did your tutor make about the above area?
3. Based on your tutor’s recommendations, what will you work on next in your assignment? (Be as detailed as possible to help you remember later.)
Tutor’s Printed Name: _________________________________________ Date: ______________ Tutor’s Signature:__________________________________________________________________ (By signing, you’re verifying that the above information accurately reflects your tutorial session)
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Peer Review
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PEER REVIEW SHEET for Essay #2 Reviewer ____________________________________ Writer _____________________________________ Please answer the following questions about the essay. Pay close attention to ideas, organization, development, and support. Write on this sheet and on the rough draft. Make clear, helpful suggestions. 1. What is the thesis? Is it clear in the paper? Underline it on the rough draft.
2. Does the introduction get your attention? How? Can it be improved?
3. Does each paragraph have an arguable point? Underline each point. 4. Does each paragraph have support/evidence? Hi-lite the evidence and put a question mark next to any examples that seem out of place. 5. Are there strong/interesting transitions? Circle the transitions. Does the essay flow or is it stilted?
6. Does the essay have a strong conclusion? Does the author prove his/her thesis?
7. What part of the essay do you think is least effective and needs work? Please make helpful suggestions for improvement. 8. What part do you think is most effective? Explain why. 9. Important! Does the essay include quotations from research articles to support your thesis/assertions/points? Is the paper MLA formatted? 10. Draw a squiggly line under all quotes and paraphrase sections, and, then, check to make sure that each one has an intext citation. 11. Does the works cited page follow MLA format, and is it alphabetized by authors last name? PLEASE DISCUSS YOUR COMMENTS WITH YOUR PARTNER, AND WRITE A REVISION PLAN ON THE BACK OF YOUR DRAFT
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PEER REVIEW SHEET for Class Essay #4 Reviewer ____________________________________ Writer _____________________________________ Please answer the following questions about the essay. Pay close attention to ideas, organization, development, and support. Write on this sheet and on the rough draft. Make clear, helpful suggestions. 1. What is the thesis? Is it clear in the paper? Underline it on the rough draft.
2. Does the introduction get your attention? How? Can it be improved?
3. Does each paragraph have an arguable point? Underline each point. 4. Does each paragraph have support/evidence? Hi-lite the evidence and put a question mark next to any examples that seem out of place. 5. Are there strong/interesting transitions? Circle the transitions. Does the essay flow or is it stilted?
6. Does the essay have a strong conclusion? Does the author prove his/her thesis?
7. What part of the essay do you think is least effective and needs work? Please make helpful suggestions for improvement. 8. What part do you think is most effective? Explain why. 9. Important! Does the essay include quotations from research articles to support your thesis/assertions/points? Is the paper MLA formatted? 10. Draw a squiggly line under all quotes and paraphrase sections, and, then, check to make sure that each one has an intext citation. 11. Does the works cited page follow MLA format, and is it alphabetized by authors last name? PLEASE DISCUSS YOUR COMMENTS WITH YOUR PARTNER, AND WRITE A REVISION PLAN ON THE BACK OF YOUR DRAFT
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PEER REVIEW SHEET for Out of Class Essay #5 Reviewer ____________________________________ Writer _____________________________________ Please answer the following questions about the essay. Pay close attention to ideas, organization, development, and support. Write on this sheet and on the rough draft. Make clear, helpful suggestions. 12. What is the thesis? Is it clear in the paper? Underline it on the rough draft.
13. Does the introduction get your attention? How? Can it be improved?
14. Does each paragraph have an arguable point? Underline each point. 15. Does each paragraph have support/evidence? Hi-lite the evidence and put a question mark next to any examples that seem out of place. 16. Are there strong/interesting transitions? Circle the transitions. Does the essay flow or is it stilted?
17. Does the essay have a strong conclusion? Does the author prove his/her thesis?
18. What part of the essay do you think is least effective and needs work? Please make helpful suggestions for improvement. 19. What part do you think is most effective? Explain why. 20. Important! Does the essay include quotations from research articles to support your thesis/assertions/points? Is the paper MLA formatted? 21. Draw a squiggly line under all quotes and paraphrase sections, and, then, check to make sure that each one has an intext citation. 22. Does the works cited page follow MLA format, and is it alphabetized by authors last name? PLEASE DISCUSS YOUR COMMENTS WITH YOUR PARTNER, AND WRITE A REVISION PLAN ON THE BACK OF YOUR DRAFT
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Proofreading Strategies
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Proofreading Proofreading is the final stage of the editing process, focusing on surface errors such as misspellings and mistakes in grammar and punctuation. You should proofread only after you have finished all of your other editing revisions. Why proofread? It's the content that really matters, right? Content is important. But like it or not, the way a paper looks affects the way others judge it. When you've worked hard to develop and present your ideas, you don't want careless errors distracting your reader from what you have to say. It's worth paying attention to the details that help you to make a good impression. Most people devote only a few minutes to proofreading, hoping to catch any glaring errors that jump out from the page. But a quick and cursory reading, especially after you've been working long and hard on a paper, usually misses a lot. It's better to work with a definite plan that helps you to search systematically for specific kinds of errors. The proofreading process You probably already use some of the strategies discussed below. Experiment with different tactics until you find a system that works well for you. The important thing is to make the process systematic and focused so that you catch as many errors as possible in the least amount of time. •
DON’T RELY ON Grammar checkers because they do not actually read your sentence.
•
Proofread for only one kind of error at a time.
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Read slow, and read every word.
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Separate the text into individual sentences.
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Circle every verb.
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Underline the subjects
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Proofreading is a learning process. You're not just looking for errors that you recognize; you're also learning to recognize and correct new errors. This is where handbooks and dictionaries come in. Keep the ones you find helpful close at hand as you proofread.
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Ignorance may be bliss, but it won't make you a better proofreader.
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The proofreading process becomes more efficient as you develop and practice a systematic strategy.
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Editing for Run-Together Sentences • • • •
Run-Together Sentences (RTS) are not simply sentence that are too long; rather, they are two or more sentences that have been combined without an acceptable joiner. To find RTS’s, you must remember that a complete sentence has 1) a subject-verb unit and 2) a complete thought. RTS Errors come in two varieties: o Comma Splices are when you join two sentences with a comma o Run-On Sentences when you join two sentences without any punctuation Acceptable joiners for complete sentences are:
Acceptable Joiners Coordinators (For, And, Nor, But, Or, Yet, So) Subordinators (Because, Although, Since, When, etc ) Semi-Colon Semi-colon + Transition Word •
Formula for Using IC + Comma + Coordinator + IC DC + Comma + IC or IC +DC IC + Semi-Colon +IC IC +Semi-Colon +Transition Word +Comma +IC
Unacceptable Joiners: Commas: If you use a comma to connect Ind. Clauses, you create a comma splice Transition Words: Using a transition to connect Ind. Clauses creates a comma splice Not using anything. Because this can get a little confusing, here is a chart to help you out:
Logical Relationship
Coordinators (CAN join sentences)
Addition
And
Contrast
but, yet
although, while, even though, even if, whereas, though
Cause
For
because, since
Effect/Result
So
so that, in that, in order that
Choice/ Alternative
or, nor
Condition Time
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Subordinators (CAN join sentences)
if, unless, provided that after, before, as soon as, since, when, while, until, as
Transition Words (CANNOT join sentences) also, further, additionally, furthermore, moreover, similarly however, still, nevertheless, otherwise, on the other hand, instead, nonetheless, alternatively therefore, thus, consequently, hence, as a result on the other hand, conversely Otherwise then, next, previously, subsequently, afterwards
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Proofreading for RTS Challenge 1: Read the sentences below. First) underline the subjects in each sentence once and the verbs twice, second) identify whether each sentence is an RTS or ok, 3) explain why you think this. Example: I don’t usually watch reality TV I do love Project Runway. 1. At the beginning of the season there are fourteen aspiring fashion designers, in the end only three people get to show at Olympus Fashion Week in New York.
2. The supermodel Heidi Klum hosts, famous designers serve as guest judges.
3. The contestants must take the design challenges seriously every week the loser goes home.
4. Some of the contestants have huge egos, they are unnecessarily competitive.
5. I don’t have TiVo, so I am going to my friend’s house to watch the season finale.
6. She needed a part-time job, books and tuition were expensive this year.
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Proofreading for RTS in a Paragraph Challenge 1: Now that you know about RTS errors, it is time to try to find run-together sentences in the following paragraph. In each sentence, first circle the verb and underline the subjects. Then, examine the sentence. If it is a complete sentence, write ok over it. If it’s an RTS, write what kind: Comma Splice or Run-On. (1) The first semester of college is difficult for me I had to take on new responsibilities. (2) For instance, I created my own schedule. (3) It was cool I got to select courses in addition, I could decide when I took them. (4) Sadly, I had to purchase my own textbooks, colleges do not distribute them each term like high schools do. (5) Also, no bells ring to announce when my classes begin or when they end students are expected to arrive on time. (6) Furthermore, many of my teachers don’t even take role they just expect students to attend class regularly and know the assignments. (7) So, this college thing has been really difficult, but I think next quarter will be easer I’ll know what to expect.
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The Comma Splice and Run-On Sentence Relay Rules: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Pick a group of 4-5 people Only one person from the group can go No help from other members of the group You can use your books. There will be three rounds and there are 5 parts to each round
Jobs: 1. Identifier: You must discover what is wrong with the sentence, run-on or comma splice, and fix the error using one of the four options for fixing those errors. 2. Fixer: You must fix the sentence with another option 3. Fixer: You must fix the sentence with another option 4. Fixer: You must fix the sentence with another option 5. Clean-up: You must double check each person’s work and make sure there are no mistakes. Then, write the best sentence on the board. Remember: You only get points if everyone’s sentences are correct. Round one: Peter Parker is running late for class the students in his group are patiently waiting for him. Identifier: __________________________
Fixer 1:______________________________
Fixer 2:_______________________________
Fixer 3:_______________________________
Clean-up:_____________________________
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Round 2: The sexy lady is singing in the shower, she wants to be on The X Factor. Identifier: __________________________
Fixer 1:______________________________
Fixer 2:_______________________________
Fixer 3:_______________________________
Clean-up:_____________________________
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Commas Explanation Commas have many uses in the English language. They are responsible for everything from setting apart items in a series to making your writing clearer and preventing misreading. Correct comma use is a difficult skill to master since it requires a combination of grammar knowledge and independent stylistic judgment. Sentence Combining When you are joining ideas, phrases or clauses within a sentence, you often will use a comma for punctuation. An independent clause, also known as a simple sentence, is a group of words that contains a subject and a verb AND can stand alone as a sentence. For example · The child went to the dentist. · His girlfriend is angry. · She will buy a new pair of shoes. You can join an independent clause with another independent clause using a coordinator (FANBOYS) and a comma: · ·
Angelo rides his bike, and Mary takes the bus. Marguerite grabbed the diamonds, but Oliver sold them on the black market.
A dependent clause is a group of words that contains a subject and a verb BUT it cannot stand alone because it starts with a subordinator, words like although, while, since, because, if, until, after. For example: · When the child went to the dentist · Because his girlfriend is angry · Although she will buy new shoes You will use a comma to join a dependent clause require a comma before it can be attached to the independent clause that finishes the thought: · Even though Michael was allowed to go to the concert, his mother made sure he had completed all his homework. If you reverse the order and put the independent clause first and the dependent clause second, however, you do not need a comma: · His mother made sure he had completed all his homework even though Michael was allowed to go to the game.
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Series You will use commas to separate items in a series containing three or more coordinate elements. · · ·
Ron, Maria, and Jessica play soccer every day after school. My favorite vegetables are Brussels sprouts, spinach, and cauliflower. I want either fettuccini alfredo, eggplant parmesan, or the linguine with clams in a white sauce.
You will use commas to separate items in a series of two or more coordinate adjectives—adjectives modifying the same idea independent of each other. · · ·
It should be a slow, lazy day. Seven years passed in a destructive, whirling blur. He brought his sleek, shiny bicycle.
Commas are not required when the adjectives are cumulative, or when they describe different aspects of the same noun. · · ·
Donnie sold me ten gold bowling balls. My favorites are the lazy white clouds. He ordered a delicious chocolate cake for the party.
Comma-Adjective Rule To help you decide whether or not you should use a comma when separating two or more adjectives, ask yourself the following two questions: · Can the order of the two adjectives be reversed? · Can the word “and” be put between the adjectives? If either answer is yes, then the adjectives are coordinate, and you should use a comma. • Jessica is an ambitious, intelligent woman. • Jessica is an intelligent, ambitious woman. [order reversed] • Jessica is an intelligent and ambitious woman. [added “and”] If you cannot reverse the order of or add “and” to the adjectives, then they are cumulative, and do not require a comma. • Roger has fourteen silver horns. • Roger has silver fourteen horns. [The reversed order does not work.] • Roger has fourteen and silver horns. [The added “and” does not work.]
Setting off Nonessential Elements Some modifying elements of a sentence are essential, restricting the meaning of a modified term, while others are nonessential and do not restrict the modified term's meaning. These nonessential elements, which can be words, phrases, or clauses, are set off with commas. Nonessential (Nonrestrictive) Students, who use the majority of the Health Center’s services, claim to be especially sick this year.
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Essential (Restrictive) Students who play any school sport will receive free tickets to final game. Only students who play a school sport
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All students claim to be sick this year. The professor, with a wink, dismissed her class early. Removing the phrase “with a wink” doesn’t change the meaning of the sentence. Popular politicians, campaigning in every small town in America, wave the American flag and kiss babies. The Big Lebowski, a 1997 Coen Brothers film, is a modern mystery and a Western rolled into one.
receive the tickets, not all students. The professor with no students is good for very little. The prepositional phrase “with no students” tells what kind of professor is good for very little; it is essential. The politician campaigning for president has no time for a meaningful personal life. The great American movie The Big Lebowski popularized the nickname “Dude.”
When deciding whether information is nonessential or essential, ask yourself this question: · Is the modifier essential to the meaning of the noun or subject it modifies? NO: Nonrestrictive (use commas) YES: Restrictive (no commas)
Transitional Words and Phrases Transitional words and phrases qualify, clarify, and make connections between ideas. They are usually set off with commas when they introduce, interrupt, or come at the end of a clause. · · ·
Nevertheless, she took the bus knowing it would be late. On the other hand, money is money and I have to pay my rent. Rare horses, however, are something I would consider buying.
Note: When you use a transitional word to combine two independent clauses, you must use a semicolon or punctuate them as two separate sentences. · · · ·
Diamonds are rare; however, the coal that makes them is abundant. The best dogs raced first; therefore, the spectators all went home before it rained. Laughter is the best medicine; of course, penicillin also comes in handy sometimes. I wanted to finish quickly. Unfortunately, I still had three exams afterward.
Quotations In most cases, use commas to set off a direct quotation from the identifying tag (he said, she screamed, I wrote and so on). · · · ·
Thoreau said, “To be awake is to be alive.” “To be awake is to be alive,” Thoreau said. “To be awake,” Thoreau said, “is to be alive.” “To be awake is to be alive,” Thoreau said. “I have never yet met a man who was quite awake.”
If the quoted text contains an exclamation point or a question mark, do not use a comma in addition: · ·
“Should we bring the casserole tonight?” he asked. “I love those children!” the father screamed.
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Exercise 1 – Commas – Dependent & Independent Clauses Add commas where necessary in the sentences below. Some sentences will not require one. Examples:
Although my mother told me not to get her a gift, I decided to make her a scrapbook.
I want to give more money to her charity, but I think the IRS already took too much of my salary. 1. Lately Katherine has wanted more companionship even though she rather likes to be alone. 2. Jerry vies for her attention but she has so much on her own mind as she suffers through this ordeal. 3. But whereas Alec acts like a friend he also wants Katherine’s admiration. 4. So that she will be found innocent Miss Smatter will write another’s confession. 5. Jerry eats his sandwich as coolly as the others do yet he can’t shake the feeling of deception and mistrust. 6. Sabrina thinks that the apartment’s rent is trivial while Kelly thinks it crucial. 7. Although Rachel has little say in the matter her friends could use the advice. 8. Because her dog was hit by a car he walks with a substantial limp. 9. The doctor set it with pins and even though he didn’t scratch at it he was still forced to wear a giant collar. 10. Either the bill came two weeks later or the doctor sent a collection agency for the money.
Exercise 2 – Commas – Series and Adjectives Add commas where necessary in the sentences below. Some sentences will not require one. Example: I want to pick fragrant, colorful daffodils, roses, and lilies for my sister’s birthday party.
1. Sue won the “Vegetable Prize of the Day” that included carrots turnips and leeks. 2. Most people don’t know that their favorite chips contain preservatives artificial flavors and MSG. 4. The three tall brothers took the brilliant shining vitamins before playing sports. 5. Watching movies reading books sleeping and exercising are my favorite weekend activities. EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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Exercise 3 – Commas – Essential and Nonessential Items Add commas where necessary in the sentences below. Some sentences will not require one. Example: · The racing fans, who rarely wave pennants, showed up in full force on Sunday. 1.
Shelly my mother’s step-sister gave me thirty dollars last week.
2.
The campus police who rarely arrest any faculty members are responsible for patrolling all
night long. 3.
The man walking his dog down the street looks like my great-uncle Ted.
4.
My grandmother with a terrible scream alerted me to the fire in her closet.
5.
Doug gave me three helpings of dessert which was a crème brûlée.
6.
Speaking as if he was consumed with fury Louis yelled to the audience.
7.
The actor with no siblings starred in the blockbuster movie Grammar Cop.
8.
The helicopter a Grasker A-7 flew over the otherwise empty desert where two thousand troops slept silently awaiting orders.
Exercise 4 – Commas – Transitions Add commas and/or semicolons where necessary in the sentences below. Example: · Nevertheless, I wanted to go to the farm to see the llamas. 1. I didn’t want to see the whole country however I did want to visit the biggest states and prettiest parks. 2. On the other hand Martin said that Oklahoma is worth skipping. 3. Alternatively I dream about the open road even if it is scary sometimes. 4. My car takes five quarts of oil typically speaking. 5. I made the motel reservations already therefore I should leave next week. 6. Pharmaceuticals as a result are becoming more and more expensive. 7. Thus I will need to buy a new car before I set off on Sunday.
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Appositives Appositives: A noun that is placed next to another noun to identify or add more info about that noun. Example: Anthony Bourdain, a chef, may have bled into my food. Appositive Phrases: A group of words that include an Appositive as well as other words that describe the noun they are next to. Appositive phrases are usually set off from the rest of the sentence with commas. Examples: T h e in s e c t, a c o c k r o a c h , is c ra w lin g a c ro s s th e k itc h e n ta b le . T h e in s e c t, a la r g e c o c k r o a c h , is c ra w lin g a c r o s s th e k itc h e n ta b le . T h e in s e c t, a la r g e c o c k r o a c h w ith h a ir y le g s , is c ra w lin g a c ro s s th e k itc h e n ta b le .
T h e in s e c t, a la r g e , h a ir y -le g g e d c o c k r o a c h th a t h a s s p ie d m y b o w l o f o a tm e a l, is c ra w lin g a c ro s s th e k itc h e n ta b le . Comma Rules: 1. 2. 3. 4.
Appositives and appositive phrases should be surrounded by commas If an appositive starts a sentence, you only need a comma after it. If an appositive ends a sentence, you only need a comma before it. If an appositive comes in the middle, you need to surround the appositive/appositive phrase with commas.
When the appositive begins the sentence, it looks like this: o
A h o t-te m p e r e d te n n is p la y e r , R o b b ie c h a r g e d th e u m p ir e a n d tr ie d to c ra c k th e p o o r m a n 's s k u ll w ith a ra c k e t.
When the appositive interrupts the sentence, it looks like this: o
R o b b ie , a h o t-te m p e r e d te n n is p la y e r , c h a r g e d th e u m p ir e a n d tr ie d to c ra c k th e p o o r m a n 's s k u ll w ith a ra c k e t.
And when the appositive ends the sentence, it looks like this:
o U p s e t b y th e b a d c a ll, th e c ro w d c h e e re d R o b b i e , a h o t-te m p e r e d
te n n is p la y e r w h o c h a r g e d th e u m p ir e a n d tr ie d to c r a c k th e p o o r m a n 's s k u ll w ith a ra c k e t.
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Appositives with Spider-Man 2 Definition: Appositives are adjective phrases that modify nouns
Example: Sarah Lisha, the funny but fierce reading teacher, hands out grade reports tomorrow.
Formula for writing them: Noun +comma + Appositive phrase + Comma+ rest of sentence
Write an Appositive phrase for Mary Jane:
Write an Appositive phrase for Aunt May
Write an Appositive phrase for J.J. Jameson
Write an Appositive phrase for Harry Osborn
Write an Appositive phrase for Dr. Otto Octavius / Doc Ock:
Write an Appositive phrase for Spider-Man
Write an Appositive phrase for Peter Parker
Write an Appositive phrase for John Jameson (Mary Jane’s fiancé)
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SENTENCE COMBINING: What can it help you do?
Avoid choppiness Stay away from unnecessary repetition Figure out what’s a sentence vs. a frag. or RTS Create more sophisticated sentences of varying lengths Convey the complex ideas that are in your head
I.) Verbal Phrases: What do you think of the following sentences? 1. Tina saw her friend’s post about meeting at the movies. Tina didn’t miss the girls-night-out after a long week. Short? Choppy? Unsophisticated? YES!!!!!!! You can avoid short, choppy, repetitive sentences by using verbal phrases. They will help you say MORE with your sentences and avoid fragments and RTS errors. 2. Seeing her friend’s post about meeting at the movies, Tina didn’t miss the girls-night-out after a long week. Doesn’t this sound better? Well, let’s make sure it’s not a RTS. Is “seeing her friend’s post about meeting at the movies” a sentence or fragment? ____________ (A sentence needs a subject and verb and it needs to be a complete thought.) EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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Verbal phrases come in TWO other forms for a total of THREE different forms, which come below. Frustrated by all the bragging that happens on FB, Hien decided to cancel her account. To impress a girl he just met at a party, Tony uploaded pictures of himself skydiving onto FB. The verbal phrases are underlined above. They are not sentences. They are modifiers providing more information in your sentences. Again, they come in three forms: 1) - ing 2) -to + verb 3) -ed With verbals, you can also create the impression of simultaneity—that is, the impression that several things are happening at once: Mai stayed connected through Facebook, reading about her niece’s volleyball game, watching a video of her friend’s band, and telling her friends about her terrible morning. (-ing form) Who was reading about her niece’s v-ball game? ________Who was watching a video ? ______ Who was telling her friends about her morning? ________ Frightened by a stalker discovering her on FB, La Toya cancelled her account. (-ed form) Who was frightened? __________________ Who cancelled her account ? ___________ NOTE: The DOER (or performer) of the action in the verbal phrase must also be the subject of the sentence or nearest clause. EXERCISE #1: Read these sentences and underline the verbal phrases. A) Even though many of us lead extremely busy lives trying to balance work, school, family, Facebook allows its busy users to remain updated on their “friends’” lives, helping many retain human connections electronically. B) Well, Facebook gives us a chance to be social, to connect any time of day. C) Overwhelmed by 567 happy birthday wishes, Anton spent a lot of his special day checking in on all the posts. D) Startled by his profile picture, Jennifer did not accept the friend request from her 5th grade classmate. E) To prove that he was popular, Marti amassed 576 friends on Facebook in two months.
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Verbal phrases can even help you introduce direct quotes; underline the verbal in the following sentence. Clive Thompson in “Brave New World of Digital Intimacy,” discusses this very issue, stating, “Each little update—each individual bit of social information—is insignificant on its own, even supremely mundane” (26).
EXERCISE #2: Combine each group of sentences by creating an -ing verbal. There is more than one way to combine some of these. Create less choppy sentences that often get rid of the verb to be (which can be boring) and repeating information. Write out the complete combined sentence to really get a feel for these. Usually the second sentence needs to be made into the –ing verbal. -ing • • •
verbals are useful in expressing: simultaneous action cause and effect (the verbal phrase is the part that expresses the cause) time if you insert a time word such as before or after in front of an -ing verbal.
Example: I would often be stopped by strangers and asked about my ethnic background. I was living in Washington DC the year after I graduated from college. Solution: Living in Washington DC the year after I graduated from college, I would often be stopped by strangers and asked about my ethnic background. 1. The Color of Water by James Mc Bride manages to (mostly) escape the cliche of the tragic Mulatto. This book captured the heart of America.
2. Many of us ask this question so that we can begin to understand a person. Many of us are trying to get at the deeper, murkier issues of identity and belonging.
3. Multi-racial people encounter the challenge of people trying to categorize them. Multi-racial people also struggle to fulfill cultural expectations.
4. Multi-racial people are proof of an increasingly global society. Multi-racial people act as solder between various communities.
5. The most recent US census counts over twenty million multiracial inhabitants. The census reminds us to ask sticky questions and refuse easy answers. EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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MORE ON VERBAL PHRASES: Let’s try a few –to Verbals! The second sentence become the to + verb verbal. EXAMPLES: a) To get it right, good writers revise their writing numerous times.
b) Good writers, to get it right, revise their writing numerous times. c) Good writers revise their writing numerous times to get it right. Directions: Leave the first sentence as is and turn the second sentence into the –to verbal. EXERCISE #3 1. At Flordita, a well-known bar in Havana, tourists enjoy themselves. The tourists enjoy themselves at the Floridita to prove their admiration for Hemingway. 2. Hemingway drank up to twelve Papa Dobles (giant daiquiris) a day. Hemingway drank them to aid his writing while staying at the Ambos Mundos Hotel.
3. In Cuba an English teacher may only make $16 a month. An English Teacher may have to become a cab driver to survive. (-ing)
4. Chris Sanders writes he was “constantly reminded of the folly of having a good educational system when the economy cannot employ” (99). Chris Sanders writes this to prove his point.
5. The main character in the film, Honey for Oshun, takes moviegoers on a road trip across Cuba. The main character travels across the island in to find his mother.
-ed verbals EXERCISE #4: Again, combine the following sentences. The second sentence will become the –ed verbal. Remember they can go in the beginning middle or end of your sentence. Try all the options. 1. Lindsay Lohan is often photographed late at night by the paparazzi. Lindsay Lohan is depicted as a party girl.
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3. Thomas used his iphone application to order and pay for lunch. Thomas was thrilled that he didn’t have to wait in the long line.
Can you come up with two sentences with -to verbals? Write about our topic or a reading from this quarter. How about trying two sentences with –ed verbals as well?! 4. 5. 6.
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II. Noun Phrase Appositives These can work well in summaries and help students say more with their sentences. They can also help you discuss commas and dashes in addition to what’s mentioned in the beginning of this document. Punctuating Noun Phrase Appositives in Sentences Single phrases are set off by commas. Remember to put a comma after the phrase as well as in front of it: Andrew Lam, author of Perfume Dreams, is a commentator on National Public Radio’s All Things Considered. Single phrases can also be set off with dashes. Dashes are a little more dramatic than a comma. I walk through the rusted iron gate to find, to my horror, the place gutted—an empty structure where once there was life. –Andrew Lam “Lost Photos” Series of nouns or noun phrases are set off by dashes when they occur in the middle of sentences: In another photo, it’s my sister and I holding onto our dogs—Medor and Nina—as we wave at the photographer, smiling happily. –Andrew Lam “Lost Photos” Series of noun phrases at the ends of sentences are most often set off with a comma or a dash, less often with a colon: It occurred to me then that for children of Asian immigrants who covet an expressive, creative life, there is often a hidden price more costly than the regular fares—poverty, years of drudging in the dark, self doubt. –Andrew Lam “Notes of a Warrior’s Son”
Appositive Exercise #1: Directions: Combine the following sentences using noun phrases whenever you can, as in the following examples.
EXAMPLES: a)
Artists often rely on intuition. Intuition is an internal gauge of the world and experience. Combined: Artists often rely on intuition, an internal gauge of the world and experience.
b)
Allen Ginsberg was one of the most controversial American poets in the 60's. He was the author of Howl. Combined: Allen Ginsberg, the author of Howl, was one of the most controversial American poets in the 60's.
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I like rock. I like anything but polkas. 3. Bob is a jazz musician. Bob is my friend from Chicago. He is a drummer who keeps his neighbors awake at night. 4. Jazz was born in New Orleans. Jazz is America's greatest contribution to music. New Orleans is one of the oldest cities in the country. 5. Jhumpa Lahiri was born in 1967 in London and raised in Rhode Island. She is the author of Interpreter of Maladies. 6. Interpreter of Maladies won the 2000 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. Interpreter of Maladies is a collection of stories. 7. Lahiri feels she grew up in two different worlds. The two worlds are the world of her parents and the world of her friends.
Appositives #2 Directions: Try creating some noun phrase appositives of your own. Modify the noun in the sentence. 1. Min bought a new car recently, a state-of-the-art hybrid that gets 47 miles per gallon on the freeway. a. b. 2. Ernesto will read virtually anything he picks up--books, newspapers, magazines, milk cartons, other people's mail. a. b. 3. I witnessed a strange scene on Stevens Creek the other day, a scene unlike anything I had ever observed before. a. b. 4. When I opened the door, I was surprised to see the irate postman, a frazzled man with a flushed red face and beady eyes. a. EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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b. 5. The tired professor sighed in appreciation of his retirement gift, a first class ticket to a remote island paradise. a. b.
Now create your own sentences using appositives 1. Write a sentence about a friend, using three appositives.
2. Write a sentence about a possession, using as many appositives as you can.
3. Using several appositives, write a sentence that might appear in your next essay.
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III. NON-RESTRICTIVE/RESTRICTIVE ADJECTIVE CLAUSES: SOME BASIC RULES Adjective clauses modify or describe or define nouns. (A clause, remember, is a group of words containing at least one subject/verb unit.) The following are some points to remember about adjective clauses. Signal Word Refers to who people
Replaces he, she, they (subjects of verbs)
Examples Bob is the one who took the purse. He took the purse.
whom
people
him, her, them (objects of verbs)
whose
possessives
his, her, their, its
which
things only
it, they, them
that
people or things
he, she, they, him, her, them, it
when
time
Then
where
places only
There
Bob is the handsome one whom all the girls like. All the girls like him. Mary had a brother whose cat ran away. His cat ran away. Last summer, I read a book which I enjoyed. Last summer, I read a book which I enjoyed. Last summer, I met a person that I enjoyed. Next year, when the Internet will be more popular, we may become dependent on it. Her trip to China, where she saw the Great Wall, was memorable.
1. Place the adjective clause in the sentence as soon after the noun it modifies as possible to avoid any confusion about which noun it is modifying. EXAMPLE: Marcos is engaged to Azin. He is a notorious womanizer. CORRECT: Marcos, who is a notorious womanizer, is engaged to Azin. INCORRECT: Marcos is engaged to Azin who is a notorious womanizer. 2. An adjective clause may begin or end with a preposition but not both. EXAMPLE: He wrote a book. There were lurid scenes in it. CORRECT: He wrote a book in which there were lurid scenes. INCORRECT: He wrote a book in which there were lurid scenes in.
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PUNCTUATING Restrictive/Non-Restrictive ADJECTIVE CLAUSES: 1. You should usually separate the adjective clause from the sentence with commas if it is modifying a proper noun. EXAMPLES: The Golden Gate Bridge, which is one of the world's most beautiful bridges, is by no means the longest. 2. Essential clauses do not require commas. An adjective clause is essential when you need the information it provides. Look at this example: The vegetables that people leave uneaten are often the most nutritious. Vegetables is nonspecific. To know which ones we are talking about, we must have the information in the adjective clause. Thus, the adjective clause is essential and requires no commas. If, however, we eliminate vegetables and choose a more specific noun instead, the adjective clause becomes nonessential and does require commas to separate it from the rest of the sentence. Read this revision: Broccoli, which people often leave uneaten, is very nutritious. ADJECTIVE CLAUSE MODELS: 1. When my father returned from Milan, he found playing with me in the hall of our villa a child fairer than a pictured cherub--a creature who seemed to shed radiance from her looks and whose form and motions were lighter than the chamois of the hills. Mary Shelley, Frankenstein 2. During that burning day when we were crossing Iowa, our talk kept returning to a central figure, a Bohemian girl whom we had both known long ago. Willa Cather, My Antonia 3. Only Gatsby, the man who gives his name to this book, was exempt from my reaction--Gatsby, who represented everything for which I have an unaffected scorn. F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby 4. There were four hired men, a woman named Aunt Callie Beebe, who was in charge of the housekeeping, a dull-witted girl named Eliza Stoughton, who made beds and helped with the milking, a boy who worked in the stables, and Jesse Bently himself, the owner and overlord of it all. Sherwood Anderson, Winesburg 5. My mother's elder sister, Sybil, whom a cousin of my father's had married and then neglected, served in my immediate family as a kind of unpaid governess and housekeeper. Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita 6. I carefully drew a handmade chessboard and pinned it to the wall next to my bed, where at night I would stare for hours at imaginary battles. Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club 7. On the corner of Victor and Robertson, where Saul's One-Pound Louisiana Hot Links used to be, is now a thirteen-story high-rise for Jenny Craig's executives.
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Restrictive/ Non-restrictive Clauses—Exercise #1 __________________________ Combine the following pairs of sentences by forming adjective clauses. (Refer to the Basic Rules sheet for a list of adjective clause signal words.) Examples: I ate breakfast at a restaurant. It is located on 18th and Mission. (that or which) I ate breakfast at a restaurant that is located on 18th and Mission. The waitress sneered at every customer. She was in a terrible mood. (who) The waitress who was in a terrible mood sneered at every customer.
1. I've heard the rumors. They have been circling the campus. (that or which)
2. Samantha returned the record. It had a scratch. (that or which)
3. Thy gazed with dismay at her in-laws. They were leaving the house walking on their hands. (who) 4. Agnes was pleased with the gift of yellow roses. Amado had brought them for her. 5. I took the class. You recommended it. 6. Hank took the last piece of cherry pie. He has no scruples. 7. My cousin arrived with the Count. She had been secretly dating him for weeks.
8.
I support the team from Brazil. Their skill is unquestionable.
9. Gabriel is going to Havana, Cuba next week. He was born there. EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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10. Francisco Jimenez has recently arrived in San Francisco. I admire him.
11. Richard explained our dilemma. His fluency in Italian amazed me.
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Adjective Clauses—Exercise #2, Who / Whom Circle the correct signal word: "who" or "whom" for each of the adjective clauses given below. Write out the adjective clause as a complete sentence.
Examples: Elwood, (who / whom) was in line at a fast food franchise, was eager to please Madeleine's dad.
He was in line at the fast food franchise. _
Elwood, (who / whom) Madeleine adored, gave it his best shot. Madeleine adored him. 1.
Madeleine's dad invited Elwood, (who / whom) has flat feet, to climb Mt. Whitney in late November.
2.
Elwood, (who / whom) podiatrists despair over, and (who / whom) is terrified of the cold, chose to attempt the climb
3.
Elwood, (who / whom) his classmates voted the least athletic in the senior class, trembled in terror as he put on his hiking boots.
4.
Madeleine, (who / whom) her friends pitied, said a tearful goodbye at the trailhead.
5.
Her sister Phoebe, (who / whom) had recently climb Annapurna, strode up the trail ahead of the men, (who / whom) were already gasping for air.
6.
In the ad, there are not only the people (who / whom) I've mentioned but some others (who / whom) aren’t that important.
7. The blonde woman in the ad (who / whom) is standing next to a statue has a dreamy look and unfocused eyes.
8.
Advertisers present models as ideal people (who / whom) consumers believe they might become when they purchase the advertised product.
Preposition + which Use preposition + which adjective clauses to combine the following sentences, as follows:
Perry roamed the tiny stage. He repeatedly slipped on it. Perry roamed the tiny stage on which he repeatedly slipped. EWRT 211/DE Anza College
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Stephen had broken the drumsticks. He played with them.
The members of the band were happy to be in Boise, Idaho. Boise Idaho is the town band members grew up in.
The roadie cursed the low -stage. He was crawling under it.
4.
The fans could see inside the band’s bus. The band had been riding in the bus for the last 6 months.
Now, try adding these to your sentences!
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Sentence Focus Are there ever times that you read something and it doesn’t make sense? Or, have you ever written something and thought, “This doesn’t sound right?” When this happens, the chances are that the writing isn’t clearly focused on a specific subject or a topic. Often clear focus in writing depends on clearly-focused sentence subjects Example of Poor Focus: My bus was missed. Example of Good Focus: I missed the bus. Read this paragraph out loud: (a) Professor Seed suffered through a disastrous first day as a college professor. (b) The way in which he set his alarm clock was wrong, (c) so the bus was missed and campus wasn’t reached until 30 minutes after his first class began. (d) Then the classroom couldn’t be found. (e) Help was given by the students, (f) but still the wrong classroom was appeared at by him. (g) Finally, the realization came that his wallet was lost, (h)so bus fare had to be borrowed. (i) At home that night, he was told by his wife that the reason he had a bad day was because the wrong foot was started off on. Take a moment and look at the sentences. Who is doing the action in each sentence? (a)
(b)
(c)
(d)
(e)
(f)
(g)
(h)
(i)
Please re-write the paragraph to make it more clear:
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Time to practice: Each of the following sentences begins well, but the parts in parentheses aren’t clearly focused. Rewrite the parts in parentheses so that you keep the focus on a personal, human subject. Before rewriting, ask yourself “who does what?” The answer should be the sentence subject. Example: The employees of Gotham City often go bowling after work, and (usually a good time is had by everyone). Solution: The employees of Gotham City often go bowling after work, and usually everyone has a good time. 1. But the Justice League and the Avengers gathered at Rough Giant’s Stadium on a Sunday afternoon, and trouble was gotten into by everyone.
2. The pitcher, Sean, hit the batter, Jenny, with a wild pitch, and the ball was thrown back at Sean’s head by Jenny.
3. Jenny’s team claimed Sean hit Jenny on purpose, but it was argued by Sean’s coach that this was an accident.
4. Jenny’s teammates charged the field, and home plate was surrounded by the teams.
5. The league fined both players for the incident, but the fines were contested by the players.
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Acknowledgements_____________________________ The vast majority of this reader was compiled by the wonderful and generous Sarah Lisha, Judy Hubbard, Julie Sartwell, Lydia Hearn, and Jill Quigley. I join them in thanking the following people for their generous contributions to this effort: Kristin Skager Linda Hein Natalie Baldwin Loren Barroca Leigh Burrill Ann Cassia Karen Coopman Elizabeth Dennehy Liza Erpelo Helen Ghilotte Sugie Goen-Salter Bonnie Graber Linda Hein Chris Hoffpauir Vita Iskandar Jo Keroes Katherine LeRoy Jodi Naas—the diva! Aaron Malchow Erika Malzberg Sherry Manis Raquel Montoya Dane Julie Mowrer Jenna Palmer Shannon Pries Bill Robinson Christine Schirmer Jennifer Stevens Sherry Suisman Deborah Swanson Leonora Willis
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